Amanda Marie
may 4th 1992 - september 5th 2009
R.I.P. Amanda Marie,
I still can't believe you're gone. Why did you do this? I'm so fucking pissed at you that you would do this to us but I miss you so much amanda. Was it really worth it? Did you really want this babygirl? Why the hell didn't we fucking help you. Why didn't we do more.we should have saved you..it hurts every fucking day and i think about you constantly. i feel so guilty for drifting from you those past 2 months. i'm sorry i wasn't always there and i wasn't always a good friend. i'm sorry i didn't help you and i wish i could just tell you one more time how much i love you. you meant so much to me more then you ever knew. i wish you were here sweetie..it breaks my heart everytime i think about you hun..why did you leave us like this..
i remember the first day i met you i remember everything about it. i remember all the times we'd hang out. how many fucking parties did we have at your house honestly?? hahaha i remember when we had to sneak ciggarettes and we'd all go in on a fifth in your little ass bedroom. Can't forget allllllll the boysss. there was always somethin goin on with the boys for sureee.I remember walking to tanning every day because we HAD to be black. all the pictures and the late nights. i remember when you got your damn license and all the accidents you got in. you were a terrible driver babygirl but it was always so much fun. i miss that care. i miss the way you'd get pissed and punch the steering wheel. the times we'd get baked and get lost going to a basketball game or take a bar and go to a football game. it'll NEVER be the same anymore amanda. we used to get so fucking fucked up. pills and blunts and sooo many botttlesss! I miss the sleepovers and the heart to heart talks and basically living at your house.you allwayssss helepd me with my derek drama and you were always there for me and gave me advice and encouraged us together. you called me your littlesnowflake and you were my boo boo<3 i will never forget you baby.and every youre on my mind and in my heart
its so weird to be there now that you really aren't gone. i know if you were here you'd be bitching at us to get out of your room until you were home but its just not right anymore. brenda and grampy and grandma and nick and billy miss you so much its breaking them down. grampy caved in and bought us a keg and you weren't there to drink it with us baby. i reread your note so many fucking times. i know you thought i was lucky to have a good family but your family loved you too amanda. you had no fucking idea how many people loved you amanda. more then you ever knew.
i'm sorry that you thought you had to do this. i'm sorry we didn't save you. i'm sorry we didn't do more. i'm sorry we shouldn't have let this happen..
i just wish you were still here.
i turned 17 finally girl. not really baby anna anymore !
why aren't you here anymore? where did you go? i hope to god you can see this somehow and you just know that i love you girl.
"although the miles are between us, we are never far apart. for friendship doesn't count miles, it's counted by the heart" <--i'll never forget that baby<33 missin you always. keep the party going up there amanda<3
R.I.P. Amanda Marie,
I still can't believe you're gone. Why did you do this? I'm so fucking pissed at you that you would do this to us but I miss you so much amanda. Was it really worth it? Did you really want this babygirl? Why the hell didn't we fucking help you. Why didn't we do more.we should have saved you..it hurts every fucking day and i think about you constantly. i feel so guilty for drifting from you those past 2 months. i'm sorry i wasn't always there and i wasn't always a good friend. i'm sorry i didn't help you and i wish i could just tell you one more time how much i love you. you meant so much to me more then you ever knew. i wish you were here sweetie..it breaks my heart everytime i think about you hun..why did you leave us like this..
i remember the first day i met you i remember everything about it. i remember all the times we'd hang out. how many fucking parties did we have at your house honestly?? hahaha i remember when we had to sneak ciggarettes and we'd all go in on a fifth in your little ass bedroom. Can't forget allllllll the boysss. there was always somethin goin on with the boys for sureee.I remember walking to tanning every day because we HAD to be black. all the pictures and the late nights. i remember when you got your damn license and all the accidents you got in. you were a terrible driver babygirl but it was always so much fun. i miss that care. i miss the way you'd get pissed and punch the steering wheel. the times we'd get baked and get lost going to a basketball game or take a bar and go to a football game. it'll NEVER be the same anymore amanda. we used to get so fucking fucked up. pills and blunts and sooo many botttlesss! I miss the sleepovers and the heart to heart talks and basically living at your house.you allwayssss helepd me with my derek drama and you were always there for me and gave me advice and encouraged us together. you called me your littlesnowflake and you were my boo boo<3 i will never forget you baby.and every youre on my mind and in my heart
its so weird to be there now that you really aren't gone. i know if you were here you'd be bitching at us to get out of your room until you were home but its just not right anymore. brenda and grampy and grandma and nick and billy miss you so much its breaking them down. grampy caved in and bought us a keg and you weren't there to drink it with us baby. i reread your note so many fucking times. i know you thought i was lucky to have a good family but your family loved you too amanda. you had no fucking idea how many people loved you amanda. more then you ever knew.
i'm sorry that you thought you had to do this. i'm sorry we didn't save you. i'm sorry we didn't do more. i'm sorry we shouldn't have let this happen..
i just wish you were still here.
i turned 17 finally girl. not really baby anna anymore !
why aren't you here anymore? where did you go? i hope to god you can see this somehow and you just know that i love you girl.
"although the miles are between us, we are never far apart. for friendship doesn't count miles, it's counted by the heart" <--i'll never forget that baby<33 missin you always. keep the party going up there amanda<3