[For Jason] Christmas

[illuxinated]

She keeps it together until she's absolutely certain Baze isn't following her anymore. She tamps that emotion down, shelves the total rejection of the past two months until she knows for sure she's alone, and only then does she let go, a petite girl in hastily-donned winter wear over her pajamas, plunked down onto a tree stump in the middle of the

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[prodigaljaybird]

For once, Jason's on foot, fists shoved inside his coat pockets, collar turned up against the cold. He's been walking since sunrise, awake when he'd normally be chasing sleep, though he's not sure he could dream up anything more surreal than this mysterious island on Christmas morning.

He passes the tiny homes, all of them too pink and whimsical, and tells himself to ignore the happy sounds from within, even as he does his best to soak them up, padding his own unhappiness with borrowed joy from others.

It isn't the worst Christmas he's spent, and Jason wastes no time feeling sorry for himself, just walks, on and on until he hears something in the near distance. Something like tears, and Jason's heartrate spikes, even as his stomach drops when he recognizes the voice calling out.

LuxCursing himself for not seeking her out sooner, Jason's batline finds its mark immediately in the branches, Jason himself flying through the trees to land in the snow behind her

[illuxinated]

Not surprisingly, despite Lux being somewhat prepared for his entrance, Jason scares the crap out of her and she nearly falls completely off her stump in reaction, one foot sliding out to steady herself. On any other day she might chastise him for startling her, but under the circumstances, she bites back her instinctive retort.

"I…" she begins, faltering, her red-rimmed eyes briefly rounding. "Yes? I thought that was what was happening. If you're not, I seriously need to reevaluate this entire jumping out of trees dynamic."

Only after that's out does she notice that he's carrying a knife, and her eyes widen again.

"Looking for a gang fight, Riff?" she asks, and the words are flippant but she doesn't take her eyes off the blade.

[prodigaljaybird]

"Riff?"

With a flick of his wrist the knife is gone as quickly as it'd appeared, and in the same breath Jason moves forward, sweeping her for injury. There's none that he can see beyond angry streaks of tears, which ought to be a relief, but...Jason finds it hurts him to look at.

"What happened?" Framing her face carefully in his hands, he swipes his thumbs beneath her wet, red eyes. "Are you hurt?"

[illuxinated]

"I'm fine," Lux whispers, feeling suddenly abashed and childish under Jason's attention. She curls the chilled fingers of one hand around his wrist, but doesn't try to pull his hand away.

"Could I stay with you?" she asks, uncertainty flickering across her features. "Just for a day or two?" The way her chin trembles then probably says more than any long explanation about what had happened with Baze or why she felt the need to leave on Christmas, of all days. "I just, um." She swallows hard against a throat threatening to close up. "I can't stay at home right now."

[prodigaljaybird]

"You can stay forever if you want," says Jason with no trace of hesitation or irony in his voice. Later, he'll be cursing himself for not being prepared, his collection of winter coats to sleep on and under inadequate for a girl like Lux, let alone the both of them. He's not done much at all to improve living conditions in his cave beyond a few torches for light, in fact, but Jason thinks of none of these things, just sits down next to her on the small stump and tucks her under one arm.

He doesn't ask why she can't go home. Children and their fathers being what they are, he knows all too well how replaceable kids who've grown up in the system can be, and while Lux really ought to be an exception to that, it's clear she isn't. He swallows, thinking of what he'd wanted to hear so badly when it happened to him, remembering just as darkly how no one had been there to say it. "I won't get sick of you."

[illuxinated]

Welcome though it is, that remark hits Lux in her soft spot, sends her immediately into desperate sobs as she turns her face in against Jason's neck and clings to his coat. From the very start, when Cate and Baze had decided to take her in, that had been her biggest fear-That she'd somehow not be good enough for them to want to keep. Over and over throughout her entire childhood she'd been sent back by families who had gotten tired of her, and it had seemed only a matter of time before Cate and Baze were the same. She'd finally started to believe they'd really wanted her; what an idiot she'd been.

[prodigaljaybird]

It's meant to comfort her, and Jason startles when it has the opposite effect, fear and something heavier swelling up in him, something that pains him. He doesn't like it, there's nothing to do with it, nowhere for it to go and nothing there in front of him to punish, but he finds when he reaches out, shuffles closer until he can hold her, stroke her hair, that it's easier to bear.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't mean to make you cry again."

[illuxinated]

"He- He invited his girlfriend and her baby over for Christmas, and- and, it was like I was just an afterthought," Lux wails, her voice hitching with sobs. Jason's neck is damp with tears, and when Lux realizes this, she rears back immediately tries to dry it with her hand, to little avail.

"I'm sorry," she says, the words small and thready. "God, I'm so stupid."

[prodigaljaybird]

"You're not," he says, and he hardly notices the wetness on his skin, just her hands wiping at it until he catches them in his own. "My dad did the same thing," he says, so she'll know, it happens to them all eventually, it's not her fault. "Not Christmas, but...he got another ward, and after that, it was like he forgot all about me."

[illuxinated]

It isn't as if Lux is unfamiliar with the realities of being an orphan; what she's not experienced herself she's seen happen over and over again to her friends. Even so, it surprises her to hear that Jason has shouldered that sort of disappointment. She'd always imagined him as sympathetic but stronger than herself: Independent at a much younger age, not really caring about having a family.

She peers back at him through damp lashes a long moment, then frames his face with both hands and presses a chilled kiss to his mouth. "I'm cold," she murmurs, eyes downcast. "Can we go now?"

[prodigaljaybird]

"Yeah," Jason blinks. He can never predict what she'll do or say next, and he wonders, was this why Bruce resisted Selina for so long? If so, Bruce is an idiot. A bit of confusion and the occasional reprimand are well worth being able to kiss Lux, and he stands up without quite pulling away, prepared to pick her up if it means getting her somewhere warmer, faster.

"My cave's not far," he says, "be easier if you let me carry you."

[illuxinated]

Lux opens her mouth to ask whether Jason actually lives in a cave, but has the good sense to clamp it shut before she does. Obviously he lives in a cave, he said he did, and she doesn't want to make him feel bad about it, even if it's seriously weird in a place where they give you houses for free.

"Okay," she relents, and adjusts her bag a bit more securely across her chest. "Just…try to not scare the crap out of me?"

[prodigaljaybird]

"I will," Jason promises, "you'll be safe, I swear," and lifts her into his arms, guiding her own around his neck. "Close your eyes if you want," he says, "just don't let go."

When he's sure she's secure, Jason keeps hold of her with one arm, letting his batline fly from the other. It tugs them immediately into the trees, and Jason keeps the journey as gentle as he can, opting for longer, more graceful arcs than the short ones that would get them there faster.

Even so, it's not long at all before his feet touch down again, and Jason starts forward over the rocks, not thinking to let Lux down and walk for herself.

[illuxinated]

Lux can fend for herself. All her life she's done it. She's held down jobs and fought off creepy father figures and trudged through the legal system. She can walk just fine on her own. But it never occurs to her to try, just then, clinging to Jason instead, her face buried against the warmth of his neck.

She's never had this, not in any significant way that she can recall-Not just being carried, but supported. Bug might've made the gesture, she guesses, if he were anything like Jason, but he hadn't been. Who was, really?

[prodigaljaybird]

Swiftly reaching the mouth of the caves, Jason plunges them both into darkness, his own eyes well accustomed to the shadows. His own cavern isn't far inside, and he sets her down with care. "Floor's uneven," he says, squeezing both Lux's hands before letting go of her. "Stay here until I get the fire going."

He leaps rather than pick his way over the rocks, landing next to the banked fire. After he's added wood the fire comes to life quickly, sparking a slow building glow of light in the center of the cave. Jason thrusts one of his torches inside to light it and leaps back to Lux's side.

"Done," he says, not thinking once to be self-conscious about his chosen home. The cavern seems small compared to the Batcave, but it's fairly large and open, and apart from the fire a pile of winter clothes and a smaller pile of books are the only thing to suggest it's occupied at all. "It'll warm up fast."

[illuxinated]

As far as caves went, Lux guesses it could be worse. She's definitely not in any position to complain, and isn't exactly an expert on cave living anyway, but as she tucks her feet under her and watches Jason hurry about, she has one burning question she just has to know the answer to.

"I'm not, like, knocking your cave or anything," she tentatively begins between blowing puffs of warm air on her bare fingers, her blue eyes wide and curious over her hands, "but why are you living here? You know they'll give you a place with a bed and a door and all if you ask, right?"