Dammit!
J just called me after dropping C off at Aikido for their summer swim party today. He asked her if she had her cell with her just in case & she said no, because it "fell out of her hands" & spent the night in the yard, in the pouring rain. Now lights come on even when it's off.
Now, a little background: I got her a cell phone because neither her father or I have land lines & she spends half of each week at our respective houses. The cell was a travelling "home phone" so that she & her friends could access one another easily no matter where she was. And I figured it would come in handy for things like crowds (which, ironically, we will be in this weekend). She lost her first cell phone right after new years, after having recently found it after a 2 month missing period. I still don't know where the damn thing ended up, but while she ostensibly looked for it, I paid for 6 months of cell phone service that she couldn't use. My mom passed on her old phone to replace it, but C wanted a fancy phone, with games & ringtones, etc. So I made her pay for it out of her own money, since I was rather unwilling to pony up for something she so clearly wasn't caring for & I figured shelling out $60 of her own money might make her more responsible for it.
Evidently not. Natural consequences state that if she wants to replace this phone, it will cost her $200. Or she can use grandma's old phone, which has no bells & whistles. However, I'm pretty seriously considering just cancelling her number altogether. I was a little hesitant about giving her one in the first place, but I wanted her to not feel cut off from her social scene by being at one place or another, and I didn't want her friends to not be allowed to call long distance to reach her when she's with me. But if she can't handle it, she can't handle it.
As the hormones come on, she is definitely heading into far less responsible territory. It's odd that as they get older you sometimes have to give them less responsibility in accordance with what they can handle. I think. In truth, I have no idea how to navigate this.
I know I'm not supposed to care, because it's her choices and her money, but this actually irritates the SHIT out of me!
---
I just got off the phone with my boss' mom (she's so awesome). She reminded me that it's ok if the first urge is to choke someone & that it passes. That helped. Also, in sorting it through, I do think I'm going to let her make the choice on what she wants to do now & just stay out of it. This is what growing up is made of.
Now, a little background: I got her a cell phone because neither her father or I have land lines & she spends half of each week at our respective houses. The cell was a travelling "home phone" so that she & her friends could access one another easily no matter where she was. And I figured it would come in handy for things like crowds (which, ironically, we will be in this weekend). She lost her first cell phone right after new years, after having recently found it after a 2 month missing period. I still don't know where the damn thing ended up, but while she ostensibly looked for it, I paid for 6 months of cell phone service that she couldn't use. My mom passed on her old phone to replace it, but C wanted a fancy phone, with games & ringtones, etc. So I made her pay for it out of her own money, since I was rather unwilling to pony up for something she so clearly wasn't caring for & I figured shelling out $60 of her own money might make her more responsible for it.
Evidently not. Natural consequences state that if she wants to replace this phone, it will cost her $200. Or she can use grandma's old phone, which has no bells & whistles. However, I'm pretty seriously considering just cancelling her number altogether. I was a little hesitant about giving her one in the first place, but I wanted her to not feel cut off from her social scene by being at one place or another, and I didn't want her friends to not be allowed to call long distance to reach her when she's with me. But if she can't handle it, she can't handle it.
As the hormones come on, she is definitely heading into far less responsible territory. It's odd that as they get older you sometimes have to give them less responsibility in accordance with what they can handle. I think. In truth, I have no idea how to navigate this.
I know I'm not supposed to care, because it's her choices and her money, but this actually irritates the SHIT out of me!
---
I just got off the phone with my boss' mom (she's so awesome). She reminded me that it's ok if the first urge is to choke someone & that it passes. That helped. Also, in sorting it through, I do think I'm going to let her make the choice on what she wants to do now & just stay out of it. This is what growing up is made of.