fabulous luck
I was getting more and more depressed about my upcoming court appearance for this old credit card debt and more and more uncertain that I knew what to do. They sent me inadequate verification and I wasn't sure if I could use that to my advantage in court or not and I couldn't get the lawyer I'd spoken to previously to respond to my calls or emails. I couldn't seem to get consistent advice from the various people I'd asked. The other side's law firm was starting to call. I didn't want to try to settle with them without understanding my footing. The panic was rising.
And then:
I talked to a lawyer friend last night who gave me good advice, and I felt ready to call and deal. I checked my voicemail to get the extension of the lawyer with whom I would negotiate a settlement. But the message he left me yesterday wasn't just a "call me" message. It was a "we've decided to drop the case" message.
Meaning that I don't have to try to negotiate my way down out of $9,000 after accrued interest and penalties from that dumb old debt of somewhere around 2k that I got when I was separating from my ex and he drained my bank account because he was in school and felt somehow entitled to be supported by me without my knowing.
I am relieved. I am confused. I have been carrying a heavy load of dread and fear and depression since I got served, just after the wedding. I was hoping I could just shrug it off, but it seems like it's going to take a few days before I can really believe I'm safe. Not because of the inherent danger of this particular situation so much as the echoes of countless situations where my safety genuinely was at risk, which emotionally this feels a lot like, and the alarm bells don't particularly care whether it was an intruder or a mouse. The mind is a funny little maze...
I keep trying to celebrate, but I only seem to be able to entertain the idea that it's real for a few seconds at a time. But I know me, and I know that in less than a week I'll be back to my old self again. I can hardly wait, though it's certainly worth waiting for.
The big lesson from this: these vultures make their living off of people's fear and avoidance. By simply showing up and looking at the facts rather than ignoring the summons and getting slapped with a summary judgment, I was able to prevail because they didn't have the evidence to back their side. But tons of people just hide from it and despite what looks a lot like having their rights violated by these companies who do so gladly until they're questioned, wind up paying. Lawyer friend was telling me that now some of these firms actually try to pursue people who've filed bankruptcy, which is hugely illegal, and sometimes people STILL fold, even though bankruptcy = complete immunity, because they're so scared and overwhelmed. Bastards. How do they even sleep at night? Oh, right.
So...yeah, to the lesson: despite how much I would prefer to avoid my problems, facing up to them is completely worth it because so many problems are just made of nothing once you finally take a good hard look at them.
And then:
I talked to a lawyer friend last night who gave me good advice, and I felt ready to call and deal. I checked my voicemail to get the extension of the lawyer with whom I would negotiate a settlement. But the message he left me yesterday wasn't just a "call me" message. It was a "we've decided to drop the case" message.
Meaning that I don't have to try to negotiate my way down out of $9,000 after accrued interest and penalties from that dumb old debt of somewhere around 2k that I got when I was separating from my ex and he drained my bank account because he was in school and felt somehow entitled to be supported by me without my knowing.
I am relieved. I am confused. I have been carrying a heavy load of dread and fear and depression since I got served, just after the wedding. I was hoping I could just shrug it off, but it seems like it's going to take a few days before I can really believe I'm safe. Not because of the inherent danger of this particular situation so much as the echoes of countless situations where my safety genuinely was at risk, which emotionally this feels a lot like, and the alarm bells don't particularly care whether it was an intruder or a mouse. The mind is a funny little maze...
I keep trying to celebrate, but I only seem to be able to entertain the idea that it's real for a few seconds at a time. But I know me, and I know that in less than a week I'll be back to my old self again. I can hardly wait, though it's certainly worth waiting for.
The big lesson from this: these vultures make their living off of people's fear and avoidance. By simply showing up and looking at the facts rather than ignoring the summons and getting slapped with a summary judgment, I was able to prevail because they didn't have the evidence to back their side. But tons of people just hide from it and despite what looks a lot like having their rights violated by these companies who do so gladly until they're questioned, wind up paying. Lawyer friend was telling me that now some of these firms actually try to pursue people who've filed bankruptcy, which is hugely illegal, and sometimes people STILL fold, even though bankruptcy = complete immunity, because they're so scared and overwhelmed. Bastards. How do they even sleep at night? Oh, right.
So...yeah, to the lesson: despite how much I would prefer to avoid my problems, facing up to them is completely worth it because so many problems are just made of nothing once you finally take a good hard look at them.