FAT?SO!
I wrote this to the lady that created the zine and the book. Its just how I feel and i little bit of me.
Dear Marilyn:
this is my first time ever attempting this so please forgive me if I ramble on about nothing. I saw your book and thought finally this is me! I actually read about your book when I was reading "A Fat Girl's Guide to Life" which I swear has become my new bible. My name is... and I'm eighteen years old. You must think what can an eighteen year old know about being fat and its is ups and downs but hey, I do know a thing or two I mean I've been fat all my life and everyone has tried to fix me. My response? Well, if you were to ask me back when I was eight then I would've told you I'd to anything just to be thin. Now I think I'm a little bit more wiser and I do know at thing or two about losing weight I've done everything from starve myself to my most resent journey: LA Weight Loss. I believe I'm a walking oxymoron because I love the way I am (pleasantly plumped) and I'm growing into this awesome women who doesn't give a shit about what people say but yet I go to the center and weigh myself three times a day. I guess I'm trying this for my mother. To get to know me is to get to know my mother, I mean she's the reason why I'm the way I am I mean I hate myself and sadly enough I think it has to do with her "helping" me loose weight. You see it all started when I was eight... (cue the cheesy twilight zone music) I was a pretty heavy girl and my Mom hated it. She tried everything on me and nothing worked. Every diet in the book was tested on me and I just went along because at a very early age it was drilled into me that "you must loose weight in order for the boys to like you, and of course you want to be liked by the boys, don't you?" Hell, that's every little fat girls dream. (To have prince charming come on his white horse and sweep you off your feet -- well not literally), so I tried everything. I began to grow unhappy with myself. Now the thing with my Mom is this. She was skinny growing up but now after she had a bad reaction to some medicine she blew up and "came to the dark side" but on October 2003 she went under the knife and fixed her "problem". Now she's 90 lb. lighter and her totally turned on me. I mean there's not a day goes by that she doesn't mention my weight. I hate it and some part of me hates her for it. I eat! I love to eat! I eat when I'm hungry, I eat when I'm not, hell, I eat because the sky is blue. My Mom tries to control me but she can't. I'm eighteen years old and I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never be a size 4 with a great body just like she wants me to have. Its like my mother has this mold of me and I don't fit it so she has to cut off every part that doesn't fit her mold. But no matter what I'll never fit! I'm not who she thinks I am. I'm my own person with my own views on life, especially mine. I hate the fact that I'm on LA Weight Loss but I just do it for my Mom. But its not fair because she took the easy way out she had surgery and she won't let me do it. Don't get me wrong I love her but I hate her ways. I go to therapy and I feel free I come home and its back again to being "pretend" me. I lie to my Mom about everything. Its sad to say I'm good at that. I love my fat. Of course I have my days in which I hate it because my skinny friends are wearing their skin tight jeans with only one digit sizes and I have to buy the Fat girls sizes. Or I hate the fact that the local mall has ten store in which there biggest size is a 8.I cant nessicaliry say that I love myself, I'm actually working on that. I'm going to therapy and that helps in "finding my true self" honestly I'm lost and I look at my life as a road and I want to go that way with all the other fat kids are eating burgers but my Mom is pushing my to the other side where everyone is eating tofu and celery. It's sad but I don't think I'll ever find myself or be happy with who I really am with my mother by my side and its not like I can go away I mean I still live with her and I have to see her daily so my life is going around in circles. But I find salvation in your book and many other book similar to yours. Thank you because I feel like myself when I'm reading. I like to write, too. I mean this might not be my best work ever but I have pretty good stuff. I guess this is just a "brain fart" my mind had and I just needed someone like me to hear me out. Thank you for letting me air it out. I don't know if you'll ever get to read so who ever finds it thanks and by for now because ill defiantly write more.
Dear Marilyn:
this is my first time ever attempting this so please forgive me if I ramble on about nothing. I saw your book and thought finally this is me! I actually read about your book when I was reading "A Fat Girl's Guide to Life" which I swear has become my new bible. My name is... and I'm eighteen years old. You must think what can an eighteen year old know about being fat and its is ups and downs but hey, I do know a thing or two I mean I've been fat all my life and everyone has tried to fix me. My response? Well, if you were to ask me back when I was eight then I would've told you I'd to anything just to be thin. Now I think I'm a little bit more wiser and I do know at thing or two about losing weight I've done everything from starve myself to my most resent journey: LA Weight Loss. I believe I'm a walking oxymoron because I love the way I am (pleasantly plumped) and I'm growing into this awesome women who doesn't give a shit about what people say but yet I go to the center and weigh myself three times a day. I guess I'm trying this for my mother. To get to know me is to get to know my mother, I mean she's the reason why I'm the way I am I mean I hate myself and sadly enough I think it has to do with her "helping" me loose weight. You see it all started when I was eight... (cue the cheesy twilight zone music) I was a pretty heavy girl and my Mom hated it. She tried everything on me and nothing worked. Every diet in the book was tested on me and I just went along because at a very early age it was drilled into me that "you must loose weight in order for the boys to like you, and of course you want to be liked by the boys, don't you?" Hell, that's every little fat girls dream. (To have prince charming come on his white horse and sweep you off your feet -- well not literally), so I tried everything. I began to grow unhappy with myself. Now the thing with my Mom is this. She was skinny growing up but now after she had a bad reaction to some medicine she blew up and "came to the dark side" but on October 2003 she went under the knife and fixed her "problem". Now she's 90 lb. lighter and her totally turned on me. I mean there's not a day goes by that she doesn't mention my weight. I hate it and some part of me hates her for it. I eat! I love to eat! I eat when I'm hungry, I eat when I'm not, hell, I eat because the sky is blue. My Mom tries to control me but she can't. I'm eighteen years old and I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never be a size 4 with a great body just like she wants me to have. Its like my mother has this mold of me and I don't fit it so she has to cut off every part that doesn't fit her mold. But no matter what I'll never fit! I'm not who she thinks I am. I'm my own person with my own views on life, especially mine. I hate the fact that I'm on LA Weight Loss but I just do it for my Mom. But its not fair because she took the easy way out she had surgery and she won't let me do it. Don't get me wrong I love her but I hate her ways. I go to therapy and I feel free I come home and its back again to being "pretend" me. I lie to my Mom about everything. Its sad to say I'm good at that. I love my fat. Of course I have my days in which I hate it because my skinny friends are wearing their skin tight jeans with only one digit sizes and I have to buy the Fat girls sizes. Or I hate the fact that the local mall has ten store in which there biggest size is a 8.I cant nessicaliry say that I love myself, I'm actually working on that. I'm going to therapy and that helps in "finding my true self" honestly I'm lost and I look at my life as a road and I want to go that way with all the other fat kids are eating burgers but my Mom is pushing my to the other side where everyone is eating tofu and celery. It's sad but I don't think I'll ever find myself or be happy with who I really am with my mother by my side and its not like I can go away I mean I still live with her and I have to see her daily so my life is going around in circles. But I find salvation in your book and many other book similar to yours. Thank you because I feel like myself when I'm reading. I like to write, too. I mean this might not be my best work ever but I have pretty good stuff. I guess this is just a "brain fart" my mind had and I just needed someone like me to hear me out. Thank you for letting me air it out. I don't know if you'll ever get to read so who ever finds it thanks and by for now because ill defiantly write more.