Better Days
Timmy got off parole yesterday! Phew! I can't believe that whole ordeal is finally over! It's been 5 years since it all began. Now I can finally let it go. Even after he came home I flashed back a lot to all the hell that is the Wisconsin DOC. The pain was still so fresh, and the fear and lonliness of prison will always haunt me. But now it's time to pick up and move on....forget the past until I need to draw from it to get through another rough time. I'm really proud of him for making it this long. 2 years with absolutely no police contact. He was always getting into something, so I didn't expect him to stay out of trouble for this long. He's changed a lot since prison.
I haven't thought about Matt lately, and I think with the closure of this whole prison ordeal, I may finally be able to let go. I was thinking a lot about the bullshit he pulled, and I wonder why I make it all seem so perfect when it was far from it. I always want what I can't have, and I always look back and think the past was so great. I thought the same way when Timm left. Like we had the most perfect relationship and he was so loving and blah blah blah. Truth is, I wanted to leave him shortly before all the drama started! I'm always looking to the past and hurting because I miss it. I wonder if I have some deep, underlying fear of moving forward(?) Why am I so obsessed with the past?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I haven't thought about Matt lately, and I think with the closure of this whole prison ordeal, I may finally be able to let go. I was thinking a lot about the bullshit he pulled, and I wonder why I make it all seem so perfect when it was far from it. I always want what I can't have, and I always look back and think the past was so great. I thought the same way when Timm left. Like we had the most perfect relationship and he was so loving and blah blah blah. Truth is, I wanted to leave him shortly before all the drama started! I'm always looking to the past and hurting because I miss it. I wonder if I have some deep, underlying fear of moving forward(?) Why am I so obsessed with the past?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm