life
life is so funny.
i sit here in my apartment... in florida... with no job.
im wondering to myself why im not more worried. maybe its because i am under the impression i will be hired as an event coordinator... but all the same, shouldnt i be worried a little? i dont know... i guess monday rolls around and i hear nothing ill just find myself a j.o.b.
after the last post i confronted dave about the text messages. he claimed that i was being irrational, and rediculous and that NOTHING is going on with anyone. said that i ruined all trust with him by looking at his test messages and that it was over. shit hit the fan to say the least. either way he spoke to his mother, and i dont know why or what she said but he told me that he was here for me, he wants to be happy, but we need to work on things.
i thikn that the biggest struggle that dave and i have is that he doesnt want to meet me half way on who i am. we are both in agreement that he and i in any other situation would not be friends, or even loook at one another but people are different. you dont need to be exactly the same as the person youre with to be happy. he hates the piercings, the black, the music, the me... but like... there are things about him that i am making adjustments as well. i just want him to meet me halfway and be happy with me.
we talk about things hypothically for the future, which makes me wonder things like.... why doesnt he talk about me being his gf but talks about if we ever have kids. maybe its because he is kidding about getting married, living in hawaii, being happy together... i jsut honestly wish he would commit himself to me because i know in my heart i have given myself to him.
things are different though. different relationship completely... but i guess if nothing else has worked might as well try something new. he has been sweeter since his mom got here. one fight, but still... doing little cute things, wanting to cuddle... besitos all the time... oh...a nd incred. sex last night.
i need to learn spanish.
i dont feel well.
viv quit the business.
dave said he could see it coming since i left.
i thought it was about starting over... but i guess she has started over too much.
i feel bad for ria... cuz then there was two...
i would like to do something for myself for my life to make me happy, so i hope i find that in event coordination.... something to do. i need something to do that is progressive. i think i have a headache from being here too long [i mean in the house] im so young... but this is like the prime of my life becuase if i dont do something now... then when will i? 22.... right? 22 years old, and when im 25 then what? and when im 30? and when does one start their life for real?
i dont really know... ummmm must change station dont like whats on
love and peace out.
i sit here in my apartment... in florida... with no job.
im wondering to myself why im not more worried. maybe its because i am under the impression i will be hired as an event coordinator... but all the same, shouldnt i be worried a little? i dont know... i guess monday rolls around and i hear nothing ill just find myself a j.o.b.
after the last post i confronted dave about the text messages. he claimed that i was being irrational, and rediculous and that NOTHING is going on with anyone. said that i ruined all trust with him by looking at his test messages and that it was over. shit hit the fan to say the least. either way he spoke to his mother, and i dont know why or what she said but he told me that he was here for me, he wants to be happy, but we need to work on things.
i thikn that the biggest struggle that dave and i have is that he doesnt want to meet me half way on who i am. we are both in agreement that he and i in any other situation would not be friends, or even loook at one another but people are different. you dont need to be exactly the same as the person youre with to be happy. he hates the piercings, the black, the music, the me... but like... there are things about him that i am making adjustments as well. i just want him to meet me halfway and be happy with me.
we talk about things hypothically for the future, which makes me wonder things like.... why doesnt he talk about me being his gf but talks about if we ever have kids. maybe its because he is kidding about getting married, living in hawaii, being happy together... i jsut honestly wish he would commit himself to me because i know in my heart i have given myself to him.
things are different though. different relationship completely... but i guess if nothing else has worked might as well try something new. he has been sweeter since his mom got here. one fight, but still... doing little cute things, wanting to cuddle... besitos all the time... oh...a nd incred. sex last night.
i need to learn spanish.
i dont feel well.
viv quit the business.
dave said he could see it coming since i left.
i thought it was about starting over... but i guess she has started over too much.
i feel bad for ria... cuz then there was two...
i would like to do something for myself for my life to make me happy, so i hope i find that in event coordination.... something to do. i need something to do that is progressive. i think i have a headache from being here too long [i mean in the house] im so young... but this is like the prime of my life becuase if i dont do something now... then when will i? 22.... right? 22 years old, and when im 25 then what? and when im 30? and when does one start their life for real?
i dont really know... ummmm must change station dont like whats on
love and peace out.