More Adventures in Pregnancy....
I'm now 35 weeks along. 5 to go until my due date. Thursday Mr. Ilke and I went to our weekly midwife appointment. Because of the Gestational Diabetes, I now often meet with the head of the clinic. She walked in and asked how I was. "I am SO ready to be done," I said without hesitation. Ten minutes later she said, "You're not going to like this, but you need to go to the hospital right now for 24 hour observation, tests, and you may be having your baby tonight."
Blink.
Blink.
Thirty minutes later laying in a hospital bed and staring out the window in shock, one thing became suddenly really clear. I'm not at all ready to be done. I've done my Hermionisms and researched my ass off. I know all the technical details. Breastfeeding. Check. Bathing. Check. Sleep. Check. Swaddling. Got it. But mentally and emotionally ready to have this baby 5 weeks early? Nuh-uh! I just kept thinking that I could have a baby in my arms by the next day. Nope. Not ready.
As akashathekitty said, I just can't catch a break. I've now developed pre-eclampsia on top of everything else. It's a bunch of things mainly characterized by sudden high blood pressure among other things. This one is decidedly scarier than the diabetes. I'm now on bed rest and have to keep my blood pressure as low as possible to avoid seizures and worse. The only "cure" is to deliver the baby.
After 25 hours, my bp went down a tad and they let me go home. It was made very clear that it was unlikely that they'd let me go much longer. One and half weeks, maybe two. I'm really really hoping we can make it to 38 or even 39 weeks. That would rock so much. I'd also REALLY love to go into labor naturally and not have to be induced. I'm seriously going to try everything I can. All old wives' tales are fair game!
Anyhow, I'm now trying to swtich my focus to staying relaxed and getting my mind and emotions ready to bring home a baby. Mr. Ilke is wholly focused on keeping me calm and healthy and getting the house ready. I hope he doesn't run himself into the ground, but he is like me, and it's more stressful to NOT be doing things that need to be done. Today I came to terms with the fact that I might have control issues. :) Everyone says to let others help out and do stuff for you, and I tried. I did. It was so so so hard to sit there and watch people do things in a totally inefficient and backwards way, not to mention trash numerous rooms in the house and break our garbage disposal. *sigh* But then other friends have been incredibly helpful and wonderful and they feel like such a blessing in my life.
And at least my mom isn't here trying to be "helpful." That would surely make me nuts.
Our baby shower is tomorrow. I'm going to plop my ass down on the couch and stay there. Or try to. And not eat any of the (delicious, catered) food. Not even the wonderful special rosemary shortbread cookies I made as guest favors. Oh well. Our guests will love it all. Maybe I can freeze some of the food and have it after the lentil is born.
I read something this evening about saying goodbye to my pregnancy and it really resonated with me. In honor of saying goodbye, here are probably the last pregnancy pictures of me taken last weekend at the pumpkin patch with a pic that I posted back when I was only 13 weeks along (and even then clearly showing).
The green sweater is minimizing the true girth that is my belly. But it's cozy and soft.
Check it out, I don't look preggers at all. LOVE this photo of me and my man.
Ah, yes, there it is. It's no wonder people always ask me if I have twins in there. I feel like a whale and I am carrying so very very low. But I have pumpkins in a wagon and that is wonderful.
A last attempt to capture the belly.
And now, a look back. 13 weeks pregnant at the Oregon Coast.
This could be my last post for a little while.Thank you, friends, for all your support and encouragement throughout this journey. Hopefully next pics will be of a little lentil.
Blink.
Blink.
Thirty minutes later laying in a hospital bed and staring out the window in shock, one thing became suddenly really clear. I'm not at all ready to be done. I've done my Hermionisms and researched my ass off. I know all the technical details. Breastfeeding. Check. Bathing. Check. Sleep. Check. Swaddling. Got it. But mentally and emotionally ready to have this baby 5 weeks early? Nuh-uh! I just kept thinking that I could have a baby in my arms by the next day. Nope. Not ready.
As akashathekitty said, I just can't catch a break. I've now developed pre-eclampsia on top of everything else. It's a bunch of things mainly characterized by sudden high blood pressure among other things. This one is decidedly scarier than the diabetes. I'm now on bed rest and have to keep my blood pressure as low as possible to avoid seizures and worse. The only "cure" is to deliver the baby.
After 25 hours, my bp went down a tad and they let me go home. It was made very clear that it was unlikely that they'd let me go much longer. One and half weeks, maybe two. I'm really really hoping we can make it to 38 or even 39 weeks. That would rock so much. I'd also REALLY love to go into labor naturally and not have to be induced. I'm seriously going to try everything I can. All old wives' tales are fair game!
Anyhow, I'm now trying to swtich my focus to staying relaxed and getting my mind and emotions ready to bring home a baby. Mr. Ilke is wholly focused on keeping me calm and healthy and getting the house ready. I hope he doesn't run himself into the ground, but he is like me, and it's more stressful to NOT be doing things that need to be done. Today I came to terms with the fact that I might have control issues. :) Everyone says to let others help out and do stuff for you, and I tried. I did. It was so so so hard to sit there and watch people do things in a totally inefficient and backwards way, not to mention trash numerous rooms in the house and break our garbage disposal. *sigh* But then other friends have been incredibly helpful and wonderful and they feel like such a blessing in my life.
And at least my mom isn't here trying to be "helpful." That would surely make me nuts.
Our baby shower is tomorrow. I'm going to plop my ass down on the couch and stay there. Or try to. And not eat any of the (delicious, catered) food. Not even the wonderful special rosemary shortbread cookies I made as guest favors. Oh well. Our guests will love it all. Maybe I can freeze some of the food and have it after the lentil is born.
I read something this evening about saying goodbye to my pregnancy and it really resonated with me. In honor of saying goodbye, here are probably the last pregnancy pictures of me taken last weekend at the pumpkin patch with a pic that I posted back when I was only 13 weeks along (and even then clearly showing).
The green sweater is minimizing the true girth that is my belly. But it's cozy and soft.
Check it out, I don't look preggers at all. LOVE this photo of me and my man.
Ah, yes, there it is. It's no wonder people always ask me if I have twins in there. I feel like a whale and I am carrying so very very low. But I have pumpkins in a wagon and that is wonderful.
A last attempt to capture the belly.
And now, a look back. 13 weeks pregnant at the Oregon Coast.
This could be my last post for a little while.Thank you, friends, for all your support and encouragement throughout this journey. Hopefully next pics will be of a little lentil.