Addiction
Is it just me, or is it a busy day on LJ?
1. GO VOTE for the autumn drabbles at dramione_ldws . There are only 6 and you will be thinking of tea and blustery winds in no time. Very romantic. So, go vote. We need your love.
2. Tooth update (because I am sure you all really want to know what is happening in my mouth...... that came out wrong). First, I have a high pain tolerance and this the absolute most pain I have ever been in. So, turns out not to be a cavity, which makes me feel a little better, like I'm not to blame for neglecting my teeth. But it *is* an erupted wisdom tooth and very large infection around it. For now, antibiotics and vicadin. Next week, it comes out. Not scheduled yet.
3. Vicadin. For the first time in over 13 years, I have a narcotic in my body. 13 years people. You probably don't know this, so here is my juicy secret. I'm a recovering addict. We say "recovering" because we (addicts, some of them) don't belive addictiion ever really leaves you. You don't get cured. (This is a huge discussion that I am not going to go into here.) Now, before you form an image in your head of me with a strap around my bicep or a little mirror and a straw, or whatever they do, you should know that I didn't do anything harder than pot. Ha! I know you are saying, but you can't get addicted to pot! Well, you can't technically get addicted to TV, shopping or sugar either. Addiction isn't about the "drug", it's about the escape. Before I did drugs, I slept. Meh. Let it suffice to say that I have developed coping skills and a strong network, and haven't felt the need to escape in almost the entire 13 years (beyond what any average person feels anyway). The twelve steps are probably the most perfect things in the world. Along wiith cheese and ice cream (neither of which I can eat because they negate the anitbiotics - phbt!).
I lead a very normal and satisfying life. I have barely thought about drugs in so many years. I hardly remember to keep track of my years clean and sober. It's just not a part of my life. It only ever comes up when collegues want to go out for drinks and I either don't go, or I order Shirely Temples. Love those. People get weird about and I try not to bring it up. I couldn't care less what others do. But often people feel threatened or judged. It's silly and I regret not being able to just hang out with my collegues.
Anyway, I made the decision a long time ago that if I ever had major surgery or was in excrutiating pain, I would take pain killers. And I would not consider it relapsing. It's all about intent here. Having said all that, this is a major thing for me, and at the same it's really not, but I wanted to share anyway. You probably already know from my smutastic questions that I'm pretty much an open book, so I have no problem talking about this. I think it's very healthy actually.
K, I'm going to shut up now. :)
1. GO VOTE for the autumn drabbles at dramione_ldws . There are only 6 and you will be thinking of tea and blustery winds in no time. Very romantic. So, go vote. We need your love.
2. Tooth update (because I am sure you all really want to know what is happening in my mouth...... that came out wrong). First, I have a high pain tolerance and this the absolute most pain I have ever been in. So, turns out not to be a cavity, which makes me feel a little better, like I'm not to blame for neglecting my teeth. But it *is* an erupted wisdom tooth and very large infection around it. For now, antibiotics and vicadin. Next week, it comes out. Not scheduled yet.
3. Vicadin. For the first time in over 13 years, I have a narcotic in my body. 13 years people. You probably don't know this, so here is my juicy secret. I'm a recovering addict. We say "recovering" because we (addicts, some of them) don't belive addictiion ever really leaves you. You don't get cured. (This is a huge discussion that I am not going to go into here.) Now, before you form an image in your head of me with a strap around my bicep or a little mirror and a straw, or whatever they do, you should know that I didn't do anything harder than pot. Ha! I know you are saying, but you can't get addicted to pot! Well, you can't technically get addicted to TV, shopping or sugar either. Addiction isn't about the "drug", it's about the escape. Before I did drugs, I slept. Meh. Let it suffice to say that I have developed coping skills and a strong network, and haven't felt the need to escape in almost the entire 13 years (beyond what any average person feels anyway). The twelve steps are probably the most perfect things in the world. Along wiith cheese and ice cream (neither of which I can eat because they negate the anitbiotics - phbt!).
I lead a very normal and satisfying life. I have barely thought about drugs in so many years. I hardly remember to keep track of my years clean and sober. It's just not a part of my life. It only ever comes up when collegues want to go out for drinks and I either don't go, or I order Shirely Temples. Love those. People get weird about and I try not to bring it up. I couldn't care less what others do. But often people feel threatened or judged. It's silly and I regret not being able to just hang out with my collegues.
Anyway, I made the decision a long time ago that if I ever had major surgery or was in excrutiating pain, I would take pain killers. And I would not consider it relapsing. It's all about intent here. Having said all that, this is a major thing for me, and at the same it's really not, but I wanted to share anyway. You probably already know from my smutastic questions that I'm pretty much an open book, so I have no problem talking about this. I think it's very healthy actually.
K, I'm going to shut up now. :)