My own fault...
I've been spending pretty much every night since Christmas with Thom. And when i'm around him, my feelings for him always grow stronger than they already are. So I'm pretty much the only one to blame as far as this goes. I was beginning to fall for him. I really, really was. Who the hell am I trying to kid? I still am! He's the only boy who can have my heart and have it all. I swear, we really are going to get married some day. So we kissed...I kissed him first a couple of nights ago and then he kissed me tonight. And it was what I wanted. But I know that right now it's not real. Because him and Val JUST broke up and I'm leaving for Rome in 18 days, not to mention that he's leaving for Fargo on Monday. So it's my own fault that things went down the way they did...and it's my own fault that I'm hurting right now. But this is the best kind of hurt. It's the hurt that proves that there's something there...something to come home to. So we said our goodbyes tonight. And we held eachother. And then he left. So, now I'll focus on getting ready to leave and then on living life to the fullest while I'm abroad. I'll try not to miss him to terribly much...we'll see if that actually works.