To feel for the first time...
Have you ever felt a uncontrollable longing for someone? Someone whose no longer in your life? Someone who you may never be able to get back? I have. A lot lately, actually. I always want what it is that I can never have. Or worse, I want what I already gave up. What I threw away from me. I tend to not be smart in the whole emotion department, but I know that I miss his kindness, the way he treated me, with such gentleness. But I told him I didn't want him and that he should just leave. He got angry with me and said some bits that cut into me and hurt me more than he'd ever know. It was all my fault though. I just couldn't....I wouldn't tell him the truth about how i felt, and that's all he really wanted. Why can I never just say what it is that's inside of me when it really matters? Why did I have to let him go? He made me so happy....and I was so foolish.