itsss c cc ccold in hhh hh here!
the heat is set to 60. to save money. i am wearing a fleece, a hoody and long sleeves, jeans and fluffy house socks and still freezing my ass off. its hard to type my fingers are so cold and my toes went numb hours ago. i miss my tiny apartment where i could run the heat on high for as long as i wanted and it only took 5 minutes to warm the whole place up.
this being alone, but not actually physically alone, is a tougher adjustment than i thought it would be. it feels like some sort of temporary inbetween and i worry that i am not cut out for roommate living. i have not even attempted to set up my studio yet. i do feel like working, and i want very badly to sit at my desk with all my stuff at hand and draw for hours, i just.... i don't know. hanging on to the optimism and hope is hard. especially when i have every blanket i own piled on top of me and i'm curled up pecking at a keyboard and thinking about things i am avoiding writing down right now.
i try to remember i'm doing this so i can save money and travel... but the bills keep coming and the money does not. i feel stuck and stupid for being as stuck as i am. i have my review this week at work (supposedly) and i need to ask for more money, if they won't give it to me i'm going to have to go find it elsewhere.
and none of this is whats really on my mind. its heavy and foggy and sad and things have been so nice this week i don't want to ruin it.
this being alone, but not actually physically alone, is a tougher adjustment than i thought it would be. it feels like some sort of temporary inbetween and i worry that i am not cut out for roommate living. i have not even attempted to set up my studio yet. i do feel like working, and i want very badly to sit at my desk with all my stuff at hand and draw for hours, i just.... i don't know. hanging on to the optimism and hope is hard. especially when i have every blanket i own piled on top of me and i'm curled up pecking at a keyboard and thinking about things i am avoiding writing down right now.
i try to remember i'm doing this so i can save money and travel... but the bills keep coming and the money does not. i feel stuck and stupid for being as stuck as i am. i have my review this week at work (supposedly) and i need to ask for more money, if they won't give it to me i'm going to have to go find it elsewhere.
and none of this is whats really on my mind. its heavy and foggy and sad and things have been so nice this week i don't want to ruin it.