That ol' Fark magic...
...so, with nothing for me to think of writing about...it looks like I'm gonna pad my way into the comment entry tomorrow* by puttin' up my favorite Fark stories of the week again!
Problem: Burglars break into woman's house. Solution: Leave them food so that they'll take that and go away. Problem: Burglars break into house again to get second helpings ...Oops? No, really, burglars don't need a carrot...they need a stick. That food shoulda been laced with rat poison. Or at the very least, it shoulda been dog food disguised as beef stew or something. They need to be taught a lesson, not given a meal!
The good news is, there's a guy selling widescreen TVs out of his car really cheap. Unfortunately, the only channel you get is a roasting turkey ...I really don't get the mentality of someone who'd fall for this scam. I mean, sure, they target the elderly a lot, but those people cave because they hate being badgered really. If you're willing to take a "flat panel teevee", sight unseen, for $200, you deserve what you're getting.
Ryan Mallett is pumped up about stepping into the QB position for Michigan next year and continuing Chad Henne's legacy of losing any game that matters...A lot of Michigan farkers always think these kinds of Michigan-bashing threads are submitted by the most promenent Buckeye farker, WoodyHayes, but they forget there are many, many other Buckeye farkers out there. (No, that doesn't mean this was my headline, by the way, but it is hi-larious to watch farkers like Practice Safe Farking make fools of themselves and their vendetta against Woody.) As for me, it'll be good to see OSU and Michigan be even again. Yes, that's right...OSU in a reloading year is equal to Michigan in a BCS run year. I said it!
It's not even September and the Cubs are already in full pennant chase mode...Jeez, just when you think the Cubs are ready to take the division away, they start cackin' like the hacks they are. Yes, Soriano isn't in the lineup. No excuse: Ryan Theriot and Mike Fontenot should be good enough in the top two slots...and Lou's goin' out of his way to get Jacque Jones in...and puts him 2nd? Why don't you bat Rob Deer leadoff, Lou! C'mon, Cubs, ya' killin' me, hea!
Shuttle crew answers kids' questions, the most popular being "Can I have your stuff?"...Well, hey, it is nice that they can get the kids involved...but the Farkers are again being the pessimists that they really are...another Shuttle-themed headline references the CNN gaffe that Columbia was travelling at 18 times the speed of light when it broke up. But, see, that's what happens when you're working with a 15-year-old space shuttle and won't build a new one...
Fred Thompson is sick of congress' misuse of earmarks and wants it fixed or he's going to take his Reagan stick and go pound some sense into them...I'd make some crude remark here about how the only proper way for earmarks to go is killing kids in Guatemala, but I fear that too many kids reading this will not get that joke...so, you can make your own "bash the right" joke here!
...and that's all for today...and tomorrow, you can make a whole lot more than just a joke about Reaganomics, promise!
*But don't let the fact that tomorrow I'll beg for comments fool you...you can still comment today!
Problem: Burglars break into woman's house. Solution: Leave them food so that they'll take that and go away. Problem: Burglars break into house again to get second helpings ...Oops? No, really, burglars don't need a carrot...they need a stick. That food shoulda been laced with rat poison. Or at the very least, it shoulda been dog food disguised as beef stew or something. They need to be taught a lesson, not given a meal!
The good news is, there's a guy selling widescreen TVs out of his car really cheap. Unfortunately, the only channel you get is a roasting turkey ...I really don't get the mentality of someone who'd fall for this scam. I mean, sure, they target the elderly a lot, but those people cave because they hate being badgered really. If you're willing to take a "flat panel teevee", sight unseen, for $200, you deserve what you're getting.
Ryan Mallett is pumped up about stepping into the QB position for Michigan next year and continuing Chad Henne's legacy of losing any game that matters...A lot of Michigan farkers always think these kinds of Michigan-bashing threads are submitted by the most promenent Buckeye farker, WoodyHayes, but they forget there are many, many other Buckeye farkers out there. (No, that doesn't mean this was my headline, by the way, but it is hi-larious to watch farkers like Practice Safe Farking make fools of themselves and their vendetta against Woody.) As for me, it'll be good to see OSU and Michigan be even again. Yes, that's right...OSU in a reloading year is equal to Michigan in a BCS run year. I said it!
It's not even September and the Cubs are already in full pennant chase mode...Jeez, just when you think the Cubs are ready to take the division away, they start cackin' like the hacks they are. Yes, Soriano isn't in the lineup. No excuse: Ryan Theriot and Mike Fontenot should be good enough in the top two slots...and Lou's goin' out of his way to get Jacque Jones in...and puts him 2nd? Why don't you bat Rob Deer leadoff, Lou! C'mon, Cubs, ya' killin' me, hea!
Shuttle crew answers kids' questions, the most popular being "Can I have your stuff?"...Well, hey, it is nice that they can get the kids involved...but the Farkers are again being the pessimists that they really are...another Shuttle-themed headline references the CNN gaffe that Columbia was travelling at 18 times the speed of light when it broke up. But, see, that's what happens when you're working with a 15-year-old space shuttle and won't build a new one...
Fred Thompson is sick of congress' misuse of earmarks and wants it fixed or he's going to take his Reagan stick and go pound some sense into them...I'd make some crude remark here about how the only proper way for earmarks to go is killing kids in Guatemala, but I fear that too many kids reading this will not get that joke...so, you can make your own "bash the right" joke here!
...and that's all for today...and tomorrow, you can make a whole lot more than just a joke about Reaganomics, promise!
*But don't let the fact that tomorrow I'll beg for comments fool you...you can still comment today!