Make your selection...
...so, Week 16. Playoff hopes dwindling (or gone) for most, but still there for quite a few. And through it all, a few teams you wouldn't have thought would've been in the playoffs at the beginning of the season. Or even five weeks ago. But here we are, solidifying those playoff pushes...or watching them fade away. Either way, we pick all 16 here in the STONE-COLD, LEAD-PIPE, TAKE-EM-TO-THE-BANK, PAY-OFF-YOUR-BOOKIE, SLAM-DUNK, ALL-IN, HAMMER, TOTALLY WRONG NFL PICKS OF THE WEEK!
Steelers at Rams--If the Browns win out and the Steelers stumble, the Browns can take the AFC North. No, really. Unfortunately, I don't see the Steelers stumbling any more than they already have. C'mon...Rams? Ravens? Two easy checks in the win column for them. Oh well, a trip to San Diego is pretty nice this time of year. Pick: Steelers
Cowboys at Panthers--Well, then, the Cowboys now have something to play for. And if Romo will leave the arm candy at home, he'll probably have a pretty good game going down here. Though the Panthers did pull the nice surprise last week...not this week, though. Pick: Cowboys
Raiders at Jaguars--Well, the number 5 seed and a return trip to Pittsburgh is also possible, again if the Browns win out and the Jags stumble. Again, nothing here jumps out at me that the Jags will falter, though, so again, book your tickets for San Diego, Browns fans. Pick: Jags
Chiefs at Lions--Well, that's a fall from grace. Get those Fire Millen signs out of cold storage, Lions fans. At the very least, you won't need 'em for this week unless the Lions absolutely destroy themselves. Pick: Lions
Texans at Colts--It doesn't look like there's too much for the Colts to play for. A win cinches up the number 2 seed, and they can't get home-field anymore. So they might step off the gas for a little bit. But the Texans are just mediocre enough that they can do that. Pick: Colts
Eagles at Saints--Can the Eagles dash the Saints' slim playoff hopes before the Vikings even take the field tonight? Last week's win over the Pokes was impressive...but this week the Aint's are playing inspired football...even without any running backs. Pick: Saints
Giants at Bills--Yeah, so you lost last week, Giants fans...don't panic, unless you lose this one, which may be a possibility. But if your QB plays right...well, without any big mis...okay, the D should be enough to win this game. Don't panic. Pick: Giants
Packers at Bears--The Bears hung one on the Pack in Lambeau. It's time for the Packers to return the favor. They're ready to put the pressure on the Cowboys for the last week of the season. Pick: Packers
Browns at Bengals--The Browns are on the verge of getting back to the playoffs. To finish it off, they go into Cincinnati, to play the team whose D they shellacked to start this whole ball of wax going. It shouldn't be nearly as high-scoring a game, but the same outcome should be the result...and you can punch your playoff tickets this week, Cleveland fans! Pick: Browns
Falcons at Cardinals--Two teams with high hopes yet again dashed. The Falcons in the beginning of the season, and the Cards last week. The Cards have two great receivers, and with a second year of this O under their belt, you've gotta believe they'll be a contender next season. But then they've been predicted as the sleeper team for what, 5 years now? But at least they can finish strong...against a team that ain't gonna. Pick: Cards
Buccaneers at 49ers--Well, you got that first kickoff return touchdown under your belt. And you have the NFC South. Now, it's time to soften the '9ers up before they get sent out to Cleveland for the grand finale. Pick: Bucs
Jets at Titans--The Titans will know before they play whether or not this game matters. Either way, you've gotta believe they'll be playing for the chance. And despite the O this team's turned into, they'll gut it out. Pick: Titans
Dolphins at Patriots--The Patriots, as I said, have a bad habit of playing down to their opponents. Which means that the Dolphins may have the best chance of any team this year to beat the Patriots. Well, I guess we'll have to hope that some team (hopefully wearing orange and brown) will be able to do it in the playoffs. Pick: Pats
Ravens at Seahawks--Congrats, Ravens. You are now officially the third-worst team in football. Though your record won't show it 'cuz you actually played well at the beginning of it. Just slide into oblivion and take your high pick. Pick: Seahawks
Redskins at Vikings--One final chance for the Redskins. Can they pull it off? Not in Minnesota, and not against APete. Sorry, Washington, your feel-good story dies here in the Metrodome. Pick: Vikings
Broncos at Chargers--The Chargers win, and they have the number 3 seed. And will host either the Browns or Steelers in the first round. And the Broncos are just not playing that well, and they'll probably be testing out new talent, too. Pick: Chargers
So, there are your picks. The final third of the year awaits tomorrow!
Steelers at Rams--If the Browns win out and the Steelers stumble, the Browns can take the AFC North. No, really. Unfortunately, I don't see the Steelers stumbling any more than they already have. C'mon...Rams? Ravens? Two easy checks in the win column for them. Oh well, a trip to San Diego is pretty nice this time of year. Pick: Steelers
Cowboys at Panthers--Well, then, the Cowboys now have something to play for. And if Romo will leave the arm candy at home, he'll probably have a pretty good game going down here. Though the Panthers did pull the nice surprise last week...not this week, though. Pick: Cowboys
Raiders at Jaguars--Well, the number 5 seed and a return trip to Pittsburgh is also possible, again if the Browns win out and the Jags stumble. Again, nothing here jumps out at me that the Jags will falter, though, so again, book your tickets for San Diego, Browns fans. Pick: Jags
Chiefs at Lions--Well, that's a fall from grace. Get those Fire Millen signs out of cold storage, Lions fans. At the very least, you won't need 'em for this week unless the Lions absolutely destroy themselves. Pick: Lions
Texans at Colts--It doesn't look like there's too much for the Colts to play for. A win cinches up the number 2 seed, and they can't get home-field anymore. So they might step off the gas for a little bit. But the Texans are just mediocre enough that they can do that. Pick: Colts
Eagles at Saints--Can the Eagles dash the Saints' slim playoff hopes before the Vikings even take the field tonight? Last week's win over the Pokes was impressive...but this week the Aint's are playing inspired football...even without any running backs. Pick: Saints
Giants at Bills--Yeah, so you lost last week, Giants fans...don't panic, unless you lose this one, which may be a possibility. But if your QB plays right...well, without any big mis...okay, the D should be enough to win this game. Don't panic. Pick: Giants
Packers at Bears--The Bears hung one on the Pack in Lambeau. It's time for the Packers to return the favor. They're ready to put the pressure on the Cowboys for the last week of the season. Pick: Packers
Browns at Bengals--The Browns are on the verge of getting back to the playoffs. To finish it off, they go into Cincinnati, to play the team whose D they shellacked to start this whole ball of wax going. It shouldn't be nearly as high-scoring a game, but the same outcome should be the result...and you can punch your playoff tickets this week, Cleveland fans! Pick: Browns
Falcons at Cardinals--Two teams with high hopes yet again dashed. The Falcons in the beginning of the season, and the Cards last week. The Cards have two great receivers, and with a second year of this O under their belt, you've gotta believe they'll be a contender next season. But then they've been predicted as the sleeper team for what, 5 years now? But at least they can finish strong...against a team that ain't gonna. Pick: Cards
Buccaneers at 49ers--Well, you got that first kickoff return touchdown under your belt. And you have the NFC South. Now, it's time to soften the '9ers up before they get sent out to Cleveland for the grand finale. Pick: Bucs
Jets at Titans--The Titans will know before they play whether or not this game matters. Either way, you've gotta believe they'll be playing for the chance. And despite the O this team's turned into, they'll gut it out. Pick: Titans
Dolphins at Patriots--The Patriots, as I said, have a bad habit of playing down to their opponents. Which means that the Dolphins may have the best chance of any team this year to beat the Patriots. Well, I guess we'll have to hope that some team (hopefully wearing orange and brown) will be able to do it in the playoffs. Pick: Pats
Ravens at Seahawks--Congrats, Ravens. You are now officially the third-worst team in football. Though your record won't show it 'cuz you actually played well at the beginning of it. Just slide into oblivion and take your high pick. Pick: Seahawks
Redskins at Vikings--One final chance for the Redskins. Can they pull it off? Not in Minnesota, and not against APete. Sorry, Washington, your feel-good story dies here in the Metrodome. Pick: Vikings
Broncos at Chargers--The Chargers win, and they have the number 3 seed. And will host either the Browns or Steelers in the first round. And the Broncos are just not playing that well, and they'll probably be testing out new talent, too. Pick: Chargers
So, there are your picks. The final third of the year awaits tomorrow!