Belated update
Yesterday was the first meeting (over the phone) with the health coach. I think this is something I'm going to go through with. He got me to promise to feed myself a sensible dinner and e-mail my doctor (who dismissed my concerns as usual, thanks Kaiser). I'm willing to spend the money and think I (and my partner) will get a lot out of it, even if the program is very focused on eating and less on exercise. I wish I had a better sense of whether the health coach would be okay talking about trans-related things, because they're a big part of my mental health, but I don't know if that's a sensitive topic for him, being FTM himself. I also wish fewer of the meetings would be over the phone, because my ADD makes it very hard to pay attention to someone talking if I can't see them. I'm going to bring this up before paying for the first month, but I'm not sure what the solution could be.
I also had a minor meltdown about my hormonal situation.
I never had acne until I was 19. In that one year, I also grew four inches, my twelve-year molars came in, and I began experiencing a monthly symptom I'd always been spared -- cramps. I've been going to dermatologists for about four years trying to get my face (and back, and chest) under control, and have not had any success. I've tried topical acids, antibiotics, and retinoids, as well as oral antibiotics. I've washed my face with a dozen different formulations and spent hundreds of dollars on prescriptions. The only thing that's ever helped is oral antibiotics, but they wreak havoc on my digestive system after about two weeks, so I always had to discontinue them.
The first dermatologist I went to kept recommending a T-blocker because my acne is hormonal in nature, characterized by large, painful cysts deep under the skin on my chin and back, among other places. I always resisted because my naturally (presumably) high T levels are one of the few things I like about my body as it is. The new dermatologist I've been seeing since I moved here is very reluctant to give me Accutane but at least hasn't suggested lowering my T-levels yet.
I'm very uncertain of what I should do. I think if I push hard enough, I can get Accutane. But it's not guaranteed to work, and, regardless, I don't want to wait until it does to start T. But sometimes my face hurts too much to handle because of all this acne, and I can't deal with the prospect of worsening it. Since I know my acne is hormonal, I feel like T is guaranteed to make me a pizza face (oh god, I used to call people that in high school, I never thought I'd be using it on myself), and that's not going to make me feel any better about myself. I don't know which is worse, the rock or the hard place.
I also had a minor meltdown about my hormonal situation.
I never had acne until I was 19. In that one year, I also grew four inches, my twelve-year molars came in, and I began experiencing a monthly symptom I'd always been spared -- cramps. I've been going to dermatologists for about four years trying to get my face (and back, and chest) under control, and have not had any success. I've tried topical acids, antibiotics, and retinoids, as well as oral antibiotics. I've washed my face with a dozen different formulations and spent hundreds of dollars on prescriptions. The only thing that's ever helped is oral antibiotics, but they wreak havoc on my digestive system after about two weeks, so I always had to discontinue them.
The first dermatologist I went to kept recommending a T-blocker because my acne is hormonal in nature, characterized by large, painful cysts deep under the skin on my chin and back, among other places. I always resisted because my naturally (presumably) high T levels are one of the few things I like about my body as it is. The new dermatologist I've been seeing since I moved here is very reluctant to give me Accutane but at least hasn't suggested lowering my T-levels yet.
I'm very uncertain of what I should do. I think if I push hard enough, I can get Accutane. But it's not guaranteed to work, and, regardless, I don't want to wait until it does to start T. But sometimes my face hurts too much to handle because of all this acne, and I can't deal with the prospect of worsening it. Since I know my acne is hormonal, I feel like T is guaranteed to make me a pizza face (oh god, I used to call people that in high school, I never thought I'd be using it on myself), and that's not going to make me feel any better about myself. I don't know which is worse, the rock or the hard place.