From the cradle to the grave.
It's been quite awhile since i last spoke to you.
I can't really say that life has been moving like clockwork
but i guess i can't really complain either.
Uni life isn't really what i expected, at least the part about
social interaction. I guess with respect to this arena, i am kinda
at a cross-roads. Would need to make a decision soon though.
I am in every sense of my being, happy for my long-time friends.
They are settling down and attaining life-long companions to share their
life with.
As for me, i don't even know till this moment in time, what is it that
i want exactly. I thought i wanted something badly enough to be sure
but not anymore.
These days, i find myself missing T more & more, let's just call him
Mr Turquoise.
I haven't heard anything about Mr Turquoise. I only hope he is happy with life.
I have been dreaming about him constantly but i never tell my friends about it.
I don't know how to tell them certain things anymore, i doubt they'd understand
since they have what they want in life. I figure i shouldn't spoil things for them.
So here i am, telling you about it. I think i never really treasured Turquoise
much, but i didn't neglect him either, at least to a certain extent.
I dreamt last night thati was going to see his parents, it was some sort of occasion,
he said he'll be at Tuas working, and he'll be riding his bike over. I said alright, but i didn't expect him to fetch me over, i can always go over by myself.
I wasn't his gf at that point in time. After which, he asked me what i was going to do
during valentine's day and then he asked if i could go to his place to visit his parents then,
i found it odd but i think i agreed anyway and didn't question him about it. He held my hand immediately and the words that rolled out from his mouth felt so sincere and loving, like a summer breeze that couldn't live without me, he asked if i would give him a chance again and that he loved me. I remember that feeling, i've never felt such warmth in a voice before, a kind of warmth and love that only he had the ability to exude for me.
And then i woke up.
I felt like i was dazed and confused for quite awhile.
I thought i was in his room for awhile, it took me a few minutes to realise
that i was actually dreaming.
I miss his stoid and expressionless face.
I had a sudden urge to look at his pictures and videos but i had to
hold myself back. I don't wana get that way anymore so i didn't.
I try not to go by and see him at the carpark also.
Certain times, i miss him so terribly that even if i only saw his car, i'd feel some
comfort in me.
But again, i don't wana be some stalker so i never did.
If only for that brief moment, not the person, but the object linked to him.
It would give me some form of warmth. Even his joking voice would be enough for me.
I think a person reaches the end of their tether, when even hearing a person's voice and seeing an object linked to the person could provide some form of comfort for you.
These days, i just don't wana think about anything and keep my mind blank.
It feels better than being down in the dumps i suppose.
I miss you like you wouldn't believe Mr Turquoise.
xoxo,
The Story Remained Untold.
I can't really say that life has been moving like clockwork
but i guess i can't really complain either.
Uni life isn't really what i expected, at least the part about
social interaction. I guess with respect to this arena, i am kinda
at a cross-roads. Would need to make a decision soon though.
I am in every sense of my being, happy for my long-time friends.
They are settling down and attaining life-long companions to share their
life with.
As for me, i don't even know till this moment in time, what is it that
i want exactly. I thought i wanted something badly enough to be sure
but not anymore.
These days, i find myself missing T more & more, let's just call him
Mr Turquoise.
I haven't heard anything about Mr Turquoise. I only hope he is happy with life.
I have been dreaming about him constantly but i never tell my friends about it.
I don't know how to tell them certain things anymore, i doubt they'd understand
since they have what they want in life. I figure i shouldn't spoil things for them.
So here i am, telling you about it. I think i never really treasured Turquoise
much, but i didn't neglect him either, at least to a certain extent.
I dreamt last night thati was going to see his parents, it was some sort of occasion,
he said he'll be at Tuas working, and he'll be riding his bike over. I said alright, but i didn't expect him to fetch me over, i can always go over by myself.
I wasn't his gf at that point in time. After which, he asked me what i was going to do
during valentine's day and then he asked if i could go to his place to visit his parents then,
i found it odd but i think i agreed anyway and didn't question him about it. He held my hand immediately and the words that rolled out from his mouth felt so sincere and loving, like a summer breeze that couldn't live without me, he asked if i would give him a chance again and that he loved me. I remember that feeling, i've never felt such warmth in a voice before, a kind of warmth and love that only he had the ability to exude for me.
And then i woke up.
I felt like i was dazed and confused for quite awhile.
I thought i was in his room for awhile, it took me a few minutes to realise
that i was actually dreaming.
I miss his stoid and expressionless face.
I had a sudden urge to look at his pictures and videos but i had to
hold myself back. I don't wana get that way anymore so i didn't.
I try not to go by and see him at the carpark also.
Certain times, i miss him so terribly that even if i only saw his car, i'd feel some
comfort in me.
But again, i don't wana be some stalker so i never did.
If only for that brief moment, not the person, but the object linked to him.
It would give me some form of warmth. Even his joking voice would be enough for me.
I think a person reaches the end of their tether, when even hearing a person's voice and seeing an object linked to the person could provide some form of comfort for you.
These days, i just don't wana think about anything and keep my mind blank.
It feels better than being down in the dumps i suppose.
I miss you like you wouldn't believe Mr Turquoise.
xoxo,
The Story Remained Untold.