Operation Sanzo Gets a Full Body Wax.
It was a testament to just how damned bored Gojyo had been that he'd made only a nominal protest when Hakkai approached him about assisting Sanzo. Normally there would've been more heat behind his refusal, and the names he'd called Sanzo would have been rather more creatively obscene, but he simply hadn't felt like wasting that much energy on the
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Hakkai's suggestion of a reversal spell was such an obvious answer, Sanzo wasn't sure why he hadn't thought of it before. "I think I took the book back to the library, but I wrote a lot of them down." He reached into one of the boxes and pulled out a couple of hand-written pages. "If there's not something on here, I'm sure there's something in the notes back in my room."
Gojyo's sudden hesitation was worrying. What if there was something controlling his behavior in addition to changing it? "Gojyo, it's okay. We're not trying to hurt you." Sanzo spoke quietly, and looked over at Hakkai for support.
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And then Hakkai had to go and be all ominous. Double crap.
"Can you even read his handwriting? It's messy," Gojyo said anxiously, looking over Hakkai's shoulder at the notes.
"It's not me I'm worried about. I think it'd be kinda frightening if a quarter-tonne wild animal with gigantic sharp teeth and claws, jaws capable of crushing skulls decided to make a meal of me." He shuddered, suddenly grateful that he'd been turned back before anything more gruesome than crotch-sniffing had occurred. (A part of his mind that sounded disturbingly like Hakkai wondered if it would have counted as cannibalism.)
"Um, and the spell can't be intended for me, anyway... I hate to break it to you, Sanzo, but something's wrong with you." Gojyo offered an apologetic smile. "I think we all need a drink."
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Sanzo had to hide a smile at Gojyo's description of tigers, considering that Gojyo-the-tiger hadn't exactly behaved like a wild animal at the time. More like a house cat... a very large house cat. He looked up in surprise when Gojyo suggested using the reversal spell on him.
"Me? There's nothing wrong with me." Was this another delaying tactic? If so, maybe the suggestion of a drink would work in their favor. A little alcohol might make Gojyo less resistant to the idea of the spell. "But you're probably right about the drink. Should we go back to Ravenclaw?"
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Not for the first time that day, he blinked at Sanzo's calm reaction to not being allowed to perform the reversal spells, silently noting again how unnatural it seemed to be coming from him (and possibly secretly vowing to try to get Gojyo to grate on the monk's nerves a little more than necessary to make-up for this strange behavior once everything had been fixed. Possibly). "I'm glad you understand, Sanzo," he said, smiling a little wanly, then went back to deciphering the monk's handwriting. "I see. These are fairly detailed -- in that case, I don't believe we have anything to worry about in the way of the sudden appearance of carnivorous creatures, Gojyo ( ... )
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Frowning, Gojyo gave them both a deeply suspicious look. "Well there's nothing wrong with me, and you both had better keep those wands in your pants. I don't want to see them pointed at me." He cautiously finished gathering up the boxes, trying to keep an eye on Sanzo and Hakkai at the same time. What on earth was Hakkai on about? Was Gojyo expected to invite them to the bathroom with him now as well? Maybe Sanzo wasn't the only one suffering under some kind of spell...
"Come on, then. I'm going to the bar." With that he left, handing off the boxes of candles to a house-elf along the way. Once back in Ravenclaw's common room, he spent a few minutes looking through the available drinks, finally found something nonalcoholic, and took a seat at the bar.
"Ravenclaw needs to offer more options for those of us who have no interest in becoming drunkards," Gojyo grumbled as he attempted to stab a straw into his juice box.
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Gojyo's comment about wands almost made him laugh out loud...until he realized that there wasn't a trace of innuendo in it. Then he just stared. Things only got worse when they got back to the bar and Gojyo chose his drink. Watching Gojyo drink juice was just so surreal.
So much for the idea of using alcohol to gain his cooperation. Sanzo found a teapot and some green tea hidden among the bottles. "I think I'll have a cup of tea. Hakkai, would you like some?"
((juice box! XD))
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When they left for the bar, Hakkai unconsciously lagged a step or two behind, either because he really was that concerned about the three of them getting separated or because he was a bit preoccupied with thinking of worst case scenarios -- such as weighing the pros and cons of this change being permanent. At least maybe now Gojyo would stop leaving spent cigarettes in empty beer cans and Sanzo would stop attempting to riddle walls with bullet holes ( ... )
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After roughly a dozen failed attempts, Gojyo's method was rather erratic due to impatience, but he did finally manage to penetrate the hole none too gently. Juice immediately squirted out because he was gripping the box a little too tightly. He quickly released it and the juice slowed to a trickle, but it was already too late. The spilled liquid had spread across the bar and dripped over the side, soaking the crotch of his pants and down one thigh. Blushing as much as before, he tried to clean up the mess with some napkins.
"Now I'll have to change again," he said, heaving a weary sigh. He still didn't trust that Sanzo and Hakkai wouldn't try tossing spells at him soon, and he really didn't want to be a magic guinea pig, so he tried to think up excuses he could use to ditch them. A previously planned engagement with a lovely young lady in Hogsmeade? Eh. It wouldn't be lying, necessarily; he had a knack for ( ... )
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Sanzo's furtive act of heating the water wasn't lost on Hakkai, and it earned the monk a slightly raised brow, though he refrained from commenting. Hakkai took one of the cups of tea, giving Sanzo a nod of thanks. He listened to Gojyo and Sanzo's exchange concerning spells for locating the sutra and inwardly frowned -- they both sounded far too optimistic, though ironically those were probably the types of things he would have said himself in a normal situation. But in a normal situation he generally took it upon himself to make-up for the pessimism of the other two ( ... )
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He missed the heating spell entirely as well as parts of the conversation about locating spells and books, busy as he was fantasising about argyle and mentally accessorizing. He had a newfound appreciation for Hakkai's taste in clothes. The teacher look was classic, always hot in style. Maybe he could even persuade Sanzo to dress up for once, make him look ( ... )
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Wait...did Gojyo just suggest wearing argyle? The look Sanzo gave Hakkai might have been a bit desperate. They needed to fix him this, and soon. Argyle on Gojyo was just so wrong. Although it probably would look good on Hakkai...
Actually, that was an idea. "Do you want to go change? We can go back to our rooms, and Hakkai and I can look through my notes for rev...location spells, while you find something else to wear." Sanzo silently urged Gojyo to agree so they could leave the bar. He really wanted a cigarette, but it wouldn't be polite to smoke around all these other people.
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Had Gojyo known Sanzo's thoughts on yaoi, Sanzo would have been treated to an incredibly tedious lecture about the virtues of argyle, and why no self-respecting person could consider their wardrobe complete without it. But since he was no mindreader, the opportunity was sadly lost.
"Did someone steal your vest?" Because there was no way in heck Hakkai wouldn't know where something was, if he'd organised things himself. Gojyo's face fell and his antennae probably drooped as all of his wonderful argyle fantasies were brutally shattered. "That's awful! Not that I can really blame them. Well, yes I can. Stealing is wrong." He tossed the empty juice box into the garbage and fidgeted. "I worry ( ... )
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