Operation Sanzo Gets a Full Body Wax.
It was a testament to just how damned bored Gojyo had been that he'd made only a nominal protest when Hakkai approached him about assisting Sanzo. Normally there would've been more heat behind his refusal, and the names he'd called Sanzo would have been rather more creatively obscene, but he simply hadn't felt like wasting that much energy on the
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When they left for the bar, Hakkai unconsciously lagged a step or two behind, either because he really was that concerned about the three of them getting separated or because he was a bit preoccupied with thinking of worst case scenarios -- such as weighing the pros and cons of this change being permanent. At least maybe now Gojyo would stop leaving spent cigarettes in empty beer cans and Sanzo would stop attempting to riddle walls with bullet holes. . .
As nice as that thought was, it didn't really seem to make him feel better about the whole mess -- well, it might have for a brief moment at least.
And their respective drink choices once they reached the bar didn't help too much (though he might have smirked despite himself as Gojyo stabbed at the juice box). Again he lagged behind them for a second before finally taking a seat himself. "Tea would be fine, thank you." Even with his unnaturally high tolerance for alcohol, he didn't quite want to risk any chance of impairment for if or when he had to attempt casting a spell.
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After roughly a dozen failed attempts, Gojyo's method was rather erratic due to impatience, but he did finally manage to penetrate the hole none too gently. Juice immediately squirted out because he was gripping the box a little too tightly. He quickly released it and the juice slowed to a trickle, but it was already too late. The spilled liquid had spread across the bar and dripped over the side, soaking the crotch of his pants and down one thigh. Blushing as much as before, he tried to clean up the mess with some napkins.
"Now I'll have to change again," he said, heaving a weary sigh. He still didn't trust that Sanzo and Hakkai wouldn't try tossing spells at him soon, and he really didn't want to be a magic guinea pig, so he tried to think up excuses he could use to ditch them. A previously planned engagement with a lovely young lady in Hogsmeade? Eh. It wouldn't be lying, necessarily; he had a knack for attracting good company when he wanted to, even if it never seldom led to spending the night with anyone but Hakkai, lately.
...What!?
The unexpected direction his thoughts had taken startled and disturbed him, and he nearly choked on his drink while doing his very best to un-think them.
"So what other sutra-locating spells are you wanting to try?" he asked as casually as he could, trying to will away his perpetual blush. He tossed the soggy tissues into the nearest garbage, then sipped what was left of his juice. "Bet you two have a lot to research, too. You shouldn't give up. It's just a matter of time before you find a spell that works, right?"
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That led him to another dilemma. The best way to heat the water and make the tea was to use a spell, but getting out his wand might cause Gojyo to bolt. Sanzo waited until Gojyo was preoccupied and then quickly did the spell. As he was pouring two cups, he was trying to think of a non-suspicious way to get Gojyo up to one of their rooms, but he wasn't coming up with anything. "Well, there were a couple of spells that might be worth trying, but for one we have to wait for the next full moon, and the other has to be set up and then left for a month before it shows any results."
Just thinking about starting over was discouraging, and Sanzo couldn't help but sigh. "I guess I'll just have to go back to the library and start researching again." He looked up again and smiled, trying to keep a positive outlook. "At least there's no shortage of books."
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Sanzo's furtive act of heating the water wasn't lost on Hakkai, and it earned the monk a slightly raised brow, though he refrained from commenting. Hakkai took one of the cups of tea, giving Sanzo a nod of thanks. He listened to Gojyo and Sanzo's exchange concerning spells for locating the sutra and inwardly frowned -- they both sounded far too optimistic, though ironically those were probably the types of things he would have said himself in a normal situation. But in a normal situation he generally took it upon himself to make-up for the pessimism of the other two.
"I recall you complaining about how expansive the book selection was in the library just the other day, Sanzo," he said carefully in a mild tone, blowing a little on the tea to cool it no innuendo tended, minds out of the gutter please. It might have been attempt to nudge Sanzo's mind in the right direction without the use of magic. "Or perhaps I've remembered incorrectly."
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He missed the heating spell entirely as well as parts of the conversation about locating spells and books, busy as he was fantasising about argyle and mentally accessorizing. He had a newfound appreciation for Hakkai's taste in clothes. The teacher look was classic, always hot in style. Maybe he could even persuade Sanzo to dress up for once, make him look presentable...
Returning to an earlier thought, Gojyo came out of his fashion-induced haze long enough to make a suggestion. "Hey, the house-elves. Couldn't they help? With the spell finding and all. Or is that sort of thing more than they can do? They might be able to point you toward the right books, anyway."
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Wait...did Gojyo just suggest wearing argyle? The look Sanzo gave Hakkai might have been a bit desperate. They needed to fix him this, and soon. Argyle on Gojyo was just so wrong. Although it probably would look good on Hakkai...
Actually, that was an idea. "Do you want to go change? We can go back to our rooms, and Hakkai and I can look through my notes for rev...location spells, while you find something else to wear." Sanzo silently urged Gojyo to agree so they could leave the bar. He really wanted a cigarette, but it wouldn't be polite to smoke around all these other people.
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Hakkai sipped at his tea and blinked at Gojyo's suggestion. "Ah, I suppose I hadn't thought of that," he said, a little surprised; he probably hadn't thought of it because the house-elves made him a little more uncomfortable than he wanted to admit. However, it still was something to be considered, especially if it was something that would cut back on time.
He gave Sanzo an apologetic smile, as though he was a little sorry to have brought up the complaint at all, even if it was a decidedly routine thing that the monk commented on every time they attempted to do research in the library. In doing so, he caught the desperate look and gave a sort of minute shrug. "I believe I might have rearranged my clothing, Gojyo. I'm not sure what I would have done with. . . ah, that vest."
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Had Gojyo known Sanzo's thoughts on yaoi, Sanzo would have been treated to an incredibly tedious lecture about the virtues of argyle, and why no self-respecting person could consider their wardrobe complete without it. But since he was no mindreader, the opportunity was sadly lost.
"Did someone steal your vest?" Because there was no way in heck Hakkai wouldn't know where something was, if he'd organised things himself. Gojyo's face fell and his antennae probably drooped as all of his wonderful argyle fantasies were brutally shattered. "That's awful! Not that I can really blame them. Well, yes I can. Stealing is wrong." He tossed the empty juice box into the garbage and fidgeted. "I worry about the loose morals of our fellow students and the faculty here..."
Glancing at Sanzo, he sighed and nodded. "Sounds like a plan. Oh, are you two not finished? Don't rush on my account. I have to admit, getting changed has lost some of its appeal, with that lovely argyle vest out of the picture... Maybe I should go start on the laundry. I'd be happy to do yours as well, Sanzo, if you'd like."
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He tuned in again just in time to hear Gojyo speculating about the morality of the residents of Hogwarts. As wrong as it sounded coming from Gojyo, he did have a point. The drinking alone was cause for concern. Perhaps they should discuss this with someone in charge of the school? Sanzo was about to suggest that, but Gojyo's offer to do his laundry completely distracted him.
It was a tempting offer, but it would be very wrong to take advantage of Gojyo's temporary personality in that way. Sanzo silently berated himself for even thinking about it. It was probably just the nicotine cravings affecting his judgement. "No, it's okay. I'm finished. We can go." They really needed to get Gojyo alone so they could reverse the spell. "If you had your heart set on argyle, maybe you could ask one of the house-elves to get something for you?"
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"No, no, nothing like that." He smiled reassuringly when Gojyo seemed disheartened by what he thought was an offhand comment on his part, shrugging his shoulders. And Gojyo's manner might have called to mind mental images of depressed cockroaches, but if that were the case then Hakkai thought it best not to mention it. "I meant that I must have misplaced it as I was rearranging things. I have some idea of where it might generally be, though it might take a minute."
He might have noted Sanzo's impatience, though he made sure to keep any comments to himself. Draining the last bit of his tea and setting the cup down on the bartop, he nodded to the two of them. "I'm fine with going if you two are. Please don't feel the need to wait for me."
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His expression brightened when Hakkai elaborated on what he'd meant. "Really? Let's go then! While you look, I can..." Remembering how untidy his side of their shared room was, he winced. "...There's plenty for me to apologise for."
When he reached their room, he stood in the doorway for a long moment and could only stare at his side in embarrassment and disgust. Surely some malicious soul had found a way in and had done the damage, for he couldn't fathom living that way himself. The unmade bed, pillows on the floor, clothes (good Lord, those clothes) strewn about, beer cans littering every surface, an overflowing ashtray... He wondered how Hakkai managed to put up with him. Well, things would be changing!
Rolling up his sleeves, Gojyo began to clean as he never had before.
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Sanzo followed Hakkai and Gojyo out of the common room, pausing as soon as they were in the hallway to light up a cigarette. The rush of nicotine was familiar, but also felt different somehow. Sanzo checked the pack, but it was his brand. Strange.
Gojyo and Hakkai's room was in its usual state, half tidy, half disaster area. Sanzo stood in the doorway and smoked his cigarette for a moment while he watched Gojyo start cleaning again. Shaking his head, he left the room to go get his notes. He came back a few minutes later with the notes on reversal spells and also the pages with the promising object location spells, just in case they needed to distract Gojyo.
"Hakkai, do you mind if we split these up?" Sanzo offered half of the reversal spell pages to Hakkai and set the pages with the rest of the spells on the desk.
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At least Sanzo smoking was a familiar sight, though it seemed a little odd that the priest was waiting in the doorway instead of simply making himself at home. After a moment, he pulled something from the wardrobe and turned to his roommate (who, of course, seemed to still be doing the unnatural act of cleaning). "Ah, is this the vest you meant, Gojyo?"
Sanzo returned with the spells, then, and Hakkai left the vest at the foot of his bed to take the pages from Sanzo. "Of course I don't mind," he said automatically, perhaps actively attempting to ignore how strange it was that the monk was asking so politely -- he had decided it was more important to find the cure for this now, and if given the opportunity, point out the oddities later.
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Gojyo had thus far succeeded in doing a far less half-assedhearted job of cleaning than the time before; while not entirely up to Hakkai's exacting standards, he did manage to get past the first layer of filth easily enough. The lack of high heels certainly helped.
After retrieving the last beer can from underneath his bed, he stood up and threw it away, all but beaming when he noticed the vest. "That's it! Thanks for letting me borrow it. If it's not a bother, I could also use, uh--" Hesitating, he gestured toward Hakkai's wardrobe, then went to it himself and took the first dark pair of pants he came across. He rifled through his own things for a clean pair of underwear, then fixed Hakkai and Sanzo with an apprehensive look. They couldn't honestly expect him to change with them in the same room, could they? It would be exceedingly indecent.
When they didn't immediately vacate, Gojyo lightly cleared his throat. "Is your door unlocked, Sanzo? If you don't mind, I'll go change in there."
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Sanzo gave Hakkai a curious look as he handed over the pages, but didn't say anything. Hakkai seemed to be acting a little oddly too. Nothing was obviously wrong, just something about his manner was a little off. Hopefully it wasn't some kind of delayed reaction to the spell. Sanzo mentally shrugged as he grabbed a chair and sat down to read his notes. If it was, then they could just use the reversal spell on Hakkai also.
Gojyo's request caught him by surprise, and he gave Gojyo a blank look for a moment, before realizing that of course Gojyo wouldn't want to change in front of them. Sanzo also realized that he was a little disappointed by that fact. Dammit, what was wrong with him today? Had he forgotten every shred of common courtesy? Sanzo quickly looked down at his notes again, hoping to hide the fact that he was blushing a little. "Sure, it's unlocked. Go ahead."
Distracted by his embarrassment, it took him a minute to realize he was looking at a reversal spell that talked about 'adverse mental effects'.
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