I feel cheated
I've been working really hard this past year on learning and improving my lighting skills, working on my compositions, and just generally trying to be a better all around photographer.
I know this is not a waste of my time, regardless of the recent events at work.
But.....
I feel cheated. I feel rejected.
I feel, frankly, a little bit worthless.
Its easy to say, don't take it personally. But when someone tells you that you are not worth paying the same as others, it cuts a bit deep. I know logically it has nothing to do with my skills, since the decision was made by two persons who are not photographers, and one of those people doesn't have a creative bone in their body. My feelings are nonetheless really hurting over this, and I need to keep myself occupied in doing good work to keep from sinking into believing I deserved it.
I have signed up for a local business networking group, to see if I can get some side work doing portraits and weddings. Hopefully this will provide a means to make up the income I need to catch up to inflation.
I intend to get serious about putting together a website and resume for myself.
Once I have that going, I can do some serious searching for a job.
Let me clarify a bit here though. I don't make bad money for a photographer. I actually make close to industry standard for a corporate employed photographer. I may even make better than usual in some markets. The unfairness here is that I am paid less than all my other coworkers to do the same job. And the only reason for that is a combination of the facts:
1. That I was hired first, and have been there the longest, so I came on when the payscale was at its lowest.
2. There was a senior level created in order to pay a recruited person what he was demanding, and he was worth the extra pay. (and I mean that sincerely, he was the best photographer I've ever met.) Subsequently, all other persons after he came on were hired at that level, not at the lower "regular" photographer level. That was a big mistake on the corporation's part. And I think they are coming to realize that, and that the person they hired last time was not even at an assistant level, skill wise..... that's a story for another day and another passel of curse words.
3. They have gotten really cheap when it comes to infrastructure. They're ok with tossing out money on single shoots if its high profile, but when it comes to things like equipment, salaries, and space, they have tightened the belt big time. I suspect the monetary goals are not being met, and they are trying to cut everything they can to make up the difference, rather than trying to boost sales.
4. I work in an area that doesn't get much attention. The marriage of the web dept. and the broadcast dept. is a haphazard one. And our director was formerly in charge of broadcast. She doesn't really understand what we do, and why its not easier than broadcast imaging. In fact, its harder in some ways. But the broadcast photographers tell her different, and she believes it. (and while I am friends with the broadcast team, I get really angry with them about this crap. We've had words over it. )
5. Lastly, I don't kiss enough butt, nor do I have friends in high places. Sadly, that's a factor too.
So, all things considered, I don't make bad money, its just unfair comparatively.
I may not switch jobs, simply because I may not find one that pays more. Or enough more to justify moving.
Especially when you add in the fact that my husband would have to find a new job too. And he certainly is the one bringing home the bacon.
And when you are the one with the college degree, that stings a bit.... *sigh*
I know this is not a waste of my time, regardless of the recent events at work.
But.....
I feel cheated. I feel rejected.
I feel, frankly, a little bit worthless.
Its easy to say, don't take it personally. But when someone tells you that you are not worth paying the same as others, it cuts a bit deep. I know logically it has nothing to do with my skills, since the decision was made by two persons who are not photographers, and one of those people doesn't have a creative bone in their body. My feelings are nonetheless really hurting over this, and I need to keep myself occupied in doing good work to keep from sinking into believing I deserved it.
I have signed up for a local business networking group, to see if I can get some side work doing portraits and weddings. Hopefully this will provide a means to make up the income I need to catch up to inflation.
I intend to get serious about putting together a website and resume for myself.
Once I have that going, I can do some serious searching for a job.
Let me clarify a bit here though. I don't make bad money for a photographer. I actually make close to industry standard for a corporate employed photographer. I may even make better than usual in some markets. The unfairness here is that I am paid less than all my other coworkers to do the same job. And the only reason for that is a combination of the facts:
1. That I was hired first, and have been there the longest, so I came on when the payscale was at its lowest.
2. There was a senior level created in order to pay a recruited person what he was demanding, and he was worth the extra pay. (and I mean that sincerely, he was the best photographer I've ever met.) Subsequently, all other persons after he came on were hired at that level, not at the lower "regular" photographer level. That was a big mistake on the corporation's part. And I think they are coming to realize that, and that the person they hired last time was not even at an assistant level, skill wise..... that's a story for another day and another passel of curse words.
3. They have gotten really cheap when it comes to infrastructure. They're ok with tossing out money on single shoots if its high profile, but when it comes to things like equipment, salaries, and space, they have tightened the belt big time. I suspect the monetary goals are not being met, and they are trying to cut everything they can to make up the difference, rather than trying to boost sales.
4. I work in an area that doesn't get much attention. The marriage of the web dept. and the broadcast dept. is a haphazard one. And our director was formerly in charge of broadcast. She doesn't really understand what we do, and why its not easier than broadcast imaging. In fact, its harder in some ways. But the broadcast photographers tell her different, and she believes it. (and while I am friends with the broadcast team, I get really angry with them about this crap. We've had words over it. )
5. Lastly, I don't kiss enough butt, nor do I have friends in high places. Sadly, that's a factor too.
So, all things considered, I don't make bad money, its just unfair comparatively.
I may not switch jobs, simply because I may not find one that pays more. Or enough more to justify moving.
Especially when you add in the fact that my husband would have to find a new job too. And he certainly is the one bringing home the bacon.
And when you are the one with the college degree, that stings a bit.... *sigh*