(no subject)
Okay.
I know everyone knows. I know everyone's posted about it. I know no one wants to read about it. But I need to write about it.
Libby's dead. It's so harsh, but it's so true. Walking around school today, I must have had the illusion of seeing her up to five times. It's so hard. I'll feel totally and completely okay one minute, and then the next..something just comes over me, and I am overwhelmed by sadness. At totally random times, I just feel like crying. In the middle of math class. Or lunch. Or in the middle of a piece when I'm rowing. I wish I could stop it from happening, but I can't. I've never been so apt to cry so often. It's weird. I also think some of it is me grieving over Annie too. I never really did. Everything else now just seems so unimportant. Seeing everyone else too, who I know cared about her so much, seeing how hurt they are..just sucks. There's no other way to describe it. Knowing that there's absolutely nothing you can say or do to make them feel better, because there's absolutely nothing anyone can say or do for you to make you feel better either.
The only thing that really helps are my friends. Just being with them. There's the ones who are also grieving. Mostly Allie, Ali, Lisa, Stace, and Laura. I love you guys, and I'm here for you always. Then there's the ones that aren't, who just make my life happy. You know who you are. I'm sorry if I ever broke down on you. I'm trying.
It's strange thinking about her. Remembering the amazing times. Most of them took place in acting class, where I met her. There were other times too, outside of school. She was so much fun to be around. She was happy, even when she was sad, if that makes sense.
I can't even begin to explain how much I miss her.
So often can the cries make you laugh, and the laughs make you cry.
RIP Libs. I love you.
I know everyone knows. I know everyone's posted about it. I know no one wants to read about it. But I need to write about it.
Libby's dead. It's so harsh, but it's so true. Walking around school today, I must have had the illusion of seeing her up to five times. It's so hard. I'll feel totally and completely okay one minute, and then the next..something just comes over me, and I am overwhelmed by sadness. At totally random times, I just feel like crying. In the middle of math class. Or lunch. Or in the middle of a piece when I'm rowing. I wish I could stop it from happening, but I can't. I've never been so apt to cry so often. It's weird. I also think some of it is me grieving over Annie too. I never really did. Everything else now just seems so unimportant. Seeing everyone else too, who I know cared about her so much, seeing how hurt they are..just sucks. There's no other way to describe it. Knowing that there's absolutely nothing you can say or do to make them feel better, because there's absolutely nothing anyone can say or do for you to make you feel better either.
The only thing that really helps are my friends. Just being with them. There's the ones who are also grieving. Mostly Allie, Ali, Lisa, Stace, and Laura. I love you guys, and I'm here for you always. Then there's the ones that aren't, who just make my life happy. You know who you are. I'm sorry if I ever broke down on you. I'm trying.
It's strange thinking about her. Remembering the amazing times. Most of them took place in acting class, where I met her. There were other times too, outside of school. She was so much fun to be around. She was happy, even when she was sad, if that makes sense.
I can't even begin to explain how much I miss her.
So often can the cries make you laugh, and the laughs make you cry.
RIP Libs. I love you.