(no subject)
For the past five months, I've been on an incredible journey. I've come to the end of that path and am looking at the fork in the road and am trying to determine what's next. I can see a lot of change ahead of me, and there's a lot of internal noise right now about which of those paths to take.
Some things will come to an end, new things will take the time that's been devoted to the things ending, paths that have been parallel will veer away from each other.
A lot of it is going to suck right out loud and be painful - some of it already is - but in the endgame, I think the outcomes will be more in the column of "positive" rather than "negative." It's just going to take some time to get back to the part where when I look at all the things I have to be grateful of, they bring me joy instead of a resounding "yeh, but..."
This morning, the Box Of Musical Shame offered this up as a reminder of what is needed:
"I have enough of all this tension
Don't you know I'm worried sick
Now I'm in the right dimension
No escape who does the trick
I hear my heart is on rotation
'Cause all the people take their cut
And I can better stand a minute
So I just keep my wide eyes shut
Let it go before it kills you
Let it fall and the fade away
Let's have fun and do what thrills you
Please don't waste another day
Why do I cause myself this trouble
You know around me things are good
If you could look into the future
Maybe I'll be understood
Let it go before it kills you
Let it fall and fade away
Let it go let it fall let it fade away
Let's have fun and do what thrills you
Please don't waste another day
You know I love you more than money
You know I need you more than fame
And I'll be there for the children
And I will never pass the blame
Let it go before it kills you
Let it fall and the fade away
Let it go let it fall let it fade away
Let's have fun and do what thrills you
Please don't waste another day"
-- Morcheeba, "Let it Go
For the next bit, while I wrestle with some of this stuff, my output may be even more sporadic or randomly shallow than it has been, as I take advantage of private journaling to get some of this resolved.
Some things will come to an end, new things will take the time that's been devoted to the things ending, paths that have been parallel will veer away from each other.
A lot of it is going to suck right out loud and be painful - some of it already is - but in the endgame, I think the outcomes will be more in the column of "positive" rather than "negative." It's just going to take some time to get back to the part where when I look at all the things I have to be grateful of, they bring me joy instead of a resounding "yeh, but..."
This morning, the Box Of Musical Shame offered this up as a reminder of what is needed:
"I have enough of all this tension
Don't you know I'm worried sick
Now I'm in the right dimension
No escape who does the trick
I hear my heart is on rotation
'Cause all the people take their cut
And I can better stand a minute
So I just keep my wide eyes shut
Let it go before it kills you
Let it fall and the fade away
Let's have fun and do what thrills you
Please don't waste another day
Why do I cause myself this trouble
You know around me things are good
If you could look into the future
Maybe I'll be understood
Let it go before it kills you
Let it fall and fade away
Let it go let it fall let it fade away
Let's have fun and do what thrills you
Please don't waste another day
You know I love you more than money
You know I need you more than fame
And I'll be there for the children
And I will never pass the blame
Let it go before it kills you
Let it fall and the fade away
Let it go let it fall let it fade away
Let's have fun and do what thrills you
Please don't waste another day"
-- Morcheeba, "Let it Go
For the next bit, while I wrestle with some of this stuff, my output may be even more sporadic or randomly shallow than it has been, as I take advantage of private journaling to get some of this resolved.