let me know whats going on in your cluttered head
when did i become bitter about things? i cant seem to let things go as easily. i've been mad alot lately and that just isn't me. or i thought it wasn't. its like once i'm hurt i don't know wether to cry or just get mad. and i end up usually doing both. its almost like all my bad qualities have come out this year and i don't know how to keep them in
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you are one of the most amazing people that i have encountered in my life--i do really mean that. i cannot wait to see you this week and you are a wonderful person! you are passionate about things, which is why you argue sometimes, its not about wrong or right, its about getting the point across. (i can be quite passionate about certain subjects as well.) i would not say that being funny is your only redeeming quality-you are funny, but you are also one of the best people i know to just talk to about things. i can be serious or just goof off with you. i really don't think you manipulate people to hurt them--you and nick both are bluntly honest sometimes--but that is because you hold yourself to a higher standard and expect others to do the same. its not about trying to hurt people, you just want to ultimately help them be better people. i know stuff sucks right now and i wish i could tell you that its going to be better right away, but to tell the truth--i'm struggling with some of the questions you bring up at the end of this. right now, we are learning to be "who we are" and its going to be rough, but you have to remember that you have people here who love you and that you are an amazing person! God made you with a plan in mind, and while its really frustrating sometimes that we don't know that plan, He loves us and surrounds us with others who love us to help us figure things out. i love you eileen and i'm here if you ever need anything. sorry this was really long, i just wanted to let you know that you are amazing-i can't wait to see you! love you!
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