(no subject)

[iheartporno]

i havent updated in awhile. i dont really have anything to say. people disgust me so much i just wanna get the fuck outta here and then i think well people are gonna be asshole everywhere so where the fuck can i go where people understand me. nowhere. thats what fucking scares me. theres been like... 2 people... in my entire life that have understood me somewhat well. and one of them i don't see much and don't even know that well but i can tall he gets me and its like whoa, wow. i dont know what that means, because the other person is my mom. for the first time in my entire life, i feel so much older than my friends. im usually the idiot immature dork in my group, making up lyrics to elevator music or something weird like that but not lately..... i dunno. my whole life was just flipped upside down and i feel like im mostly over it. but i need to leave.. and one person, who doesnt even really get me, but whom i love to death, is the only reason for me staying. or else i would probably be living in oregon right now or something. but it sucks because 1 of the 2 people i cant tell things to, well at least not easily, because shes my mom. and the other... its not mutual and i wish that wasnt true. but it is. it sucks... really bad. its like.... you find someone you think (think) you connect with, someone you THINK understands you, and its like you dont mean a thing to them. and its not even like i love him... but he GETS ME. and hes the only person, besides my mother. i fucking give up trying to be happy. because its never gonna happen.
kdjfgklsjdghiouxhjzklsiotuhdkjvn
zdlkfjslkjgv a;sldgvfn
asd,vnierughpaisudvhasdgoiu !!