I fucking hate this
I hate it for so many reasons.
I still don't know exactly why.
As I was searching to find out why everything felt so great...
You were concentrating on why something felt so wrong.
I still don't know if it was my holding back and my attempt at emotional inavailability which was perscribed to me by many people to not scare you away. to not put myself out there.
Or if it was that I was too nice, and too unlike other people you have dated, and other private things that i will not post on the net.
You told me both: one when sober, one when drunk. You told me you were difficult... that's the way I like it, complexity. however, I was not going to force you to do anything like had been done in the past.
What i do know is, if some of the things that came out of your mouth were true last night... I don't know why you tell me how amazing I am as your crying and want to be friends with me. if we have nothing in common and you can't talk to me... we don't have anything to talk about... would we be able to be friends?
I hate that you are so cute and adorable.
I hate that I felt like I could be me around you but was still holding back... just for a little bit.
I hate that this is done.
I hate that I fucking care even though it has only been two months.
Normally... I would have just told you to fuck off.
I still don't know exactly why.
As I was searching to find out why everything felt so great...
You were concentrating on why something felt so wrong.
I still don't know if it was my holding back and my attempt at emotional inavailability which was perscribed to me by many people to not scare you away. to not put myself out there.
Or if it was that I was too nice, and too unlike other people you have dated, and other private things that i will not post on the net.
You told me both: one when sober, one when drunk. You told me you were difficult... that's the way I like it, complexity. however, I was not going to force you to do anything like had been done in the past.
What i do know is, if some of the things that came out of your mouth were true last night... I don't know why you tell me how amazing I am as your crying and want to be friends with me. if we have nothing in common and you can't talk to me... we don't have anything to talk about... would we be able to be friends?
I hate that you are so cute and adorable.
I hate that I felt like I could be me around you but was still holding back... just for a little bit.
I hate that this is done.
I hate that I fucking care even though it has only been two months.
Normally... I would have just told you to fuck off.