(no subject)
"Konstantine"
I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
And I don't understand
All the things you've seen
But I'm slipping in between
You and your big... dreams
it's always you and my big dreams
And you tell me
That it's over
But i can't stand here in a patch of four leaf clover
And your restless
And I'm naked
You've got to get out
You can't stand to see me shaking
no, could you let me go
and you don't want to be here in the future
So you say
the present's just a pleasant
Interruption to the past
And you don't want to look much closer
'Cause you're afraid to find out all the hope
That you had sent into the sky by now had... crashed
and it did because of me
And then you bring me home
Afraid to find out that you're alone, no
And I'm sleeping in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live
And I had dreams that i would learn to play guitar
Maybe cross the country
Become a rockstar
And there was hope in me
That I could take you there
But dammit you're so young
But I don't think I care
and if I hurt you then i'm sorry
It's just this guilt has got the best of me
And then you bring me home
'Cause we both know what its like to be alone, no
And I'm dreaming in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live
Konstantine came walking down the stairs
Doesn't she look good
Standing in her underwear?
And i've been thinking, and i've thinking, no
But she's been drinking
And it doesn't get me anywhere
My Konstantine came walking down the stairs
And all that I could do
Was touch her long blond hair
And i was thinking, what i was thining ya know
we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere
This is because I can spell konfusion with a K
It's hard to like it
It's to dying in anothers arms
and why i had to try it
It's to jimmy eat world
and those nights in my car
But this time i'm alone, and i don't see those stars
I'm not your star?
Isn't that what you said
what you thought this song meant
you thought this song meant
And if this is what it takes
just to lie in my mistakes
and live with what I did to you
And all the things i put you through
I always catch the clock it's 11:11
And now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream
You'll always be my Konstantine
They'll never hurt you like I do
No, They'll never hurt you like I do
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No
This is to a girl who got into my head
with all these pretty things she did
Hey Baby, You know that you keep me up in bed
It's to a girl who got into my head
with all the fucked up things I did
Hey maybe baby, you could keep me up in bed
My Konstantine
Spin around me like a dream
We played out on this movie screen
And I said,
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
God, I miss you
And then you bring me home
And we'll go to sleep but this time not alone, no no,
And you'll kiss me in your living room, oh
And you see, no, that i've been missing in my Living room
Cause this is what i miss, what i miss
We don't have much room
I said, does anyboy need that room?
Because we all need a little more room
To live
My Konstantine
If you haven't ever heard this song, listen to it. And if u dont understand it, listen to it again, and again, and again, untill you hear the message thats written between the lines.
It's sad to look out at all the people that we know and see how many of them hide themselves from life. It's sad to look into the mirror in the morning and know that you're hiding from the possible pain you could feel if you lived ur life without fear, without walls, without that protective bubble everyone holds so dear. That's why people lie. That's why people cheat. That's why people live their entire lives without saying the things they want to say to others. That's why people live behind the fake face they show everyone. And that's the reason so many people are unhappy, unsatisfied, and lost. Because everyone's afraid to feel. Everyone's afraid to open themselves up to life and live, to really live. To love, to lose, to dare to be different. We all pretend to be different, but we're not. We're all scared. Scared of the unknown. Scared of losing control over our little worlds, of letting others into that world. Because humans are flawed by nature. We all have them. We know about our own flaws, and we know how to deal with them. When we let others into our world, our bubble, we let in a set of flaws we're not prepared for, a set of flaws that we know nothing about. And we're all so scared that our worlds will come crashing down because we wont be able to deal with those flaws. Everyone seeks control in their lives, stability. Something we can count on. So we shut ourselves off. We pretend that we dont, that we're open, that we're welcoming. But we're not. We're all con artists. We hide from fear. We hide from pain. We hide from each other. We hide from raw emotion. Because we're scared. But it's ok. Because when i listen to this song, it reminds me that someone somewhere wasn't afraid to be real. They weren't afraid to be honest. There was no bubble. There was no nothing, just one person sharing their life, their love, their pain, with another person. And thats a beautiful thing.
I write this not because im calling others out, but because i'm calling myself out. I'm know i'm guilty of hiding, of being scared, just like so many of us out there. So please, when you read this, don't take it the wrong way. It wasn't directed towards anyone in paticular, moreso everyone that dreams of being "real". I hope this entry can be a starting point for everyone who reads this, because thats what i hope it will be for me.
I haven't posted in a while because everytime i do it's always misread, misinterpreted, and looked at in a way that i never meant for it to be. Like this entry. There's no hidden meaning, there's no clues, no cues, nothing. Its just me writting to myself, me thinking outloud. I just thought i might share my thoughts with those that care. I don't think i'll be posting very much for a while. I've decided to keep a written journal instead. That way my thoughts can't be misinterpreted or misread, and hopefully i wont be so scared to write what i'm really thinking about. It's nothing against anyone, just something that i feel i need to do. But don't fret, i will be back. I've just some sorting out to do. I hope everyone that reads this entry finds it helpful in some shape or form. Dont ever take what you have for granted, people or posessions. Be thankful for every experience. Be thankful for those that are in your life. You're family, your friends, your lovers and significant others, shit, even your pets. Everyone. You never know what tomorrow will bring. <3
Aqeel
I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
And I don't understand
All the things you've seen
But I'm slipping in between
You and your big... dreams
it's always you and my big dreams
And you tell me
That it's over
But i can't stand here in a patch of four leaf clover
And your restless
And I'm naked
You've got to get out
You can't stand to see me shaking
no, could you let me go
and you don't want to be here in the future
So you say
the present's just a pleasant
Interruption to the past
And you don't want to look much closer
'Cause you're afraid to find out all the hope
That you had sent into the sky by now had... crashed
and it did because of me
And then you bring me home
Afraid to find out that you're alone, no
And I'm sleeping in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live
And I had dreams that i would learn to play guitar
Maybe cross the country
Become a rockstar
And there was hope in me
That I could take you there
But dammit you're so young
But I don't think I care
and if I hurt you then i'm sorry
It's just this guilt has got the best of me
And then you bring me home
'Cause we both know what its like to be alone, no
And I'm dreaming in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live
Konstantine came walking down the stairs
Doesn't she look good
Standing in her underwear?
And i've been thinking, and i've thinking, no
But she's been drinking
And it doesn't get me anywhere
My Konstantine came walking down the stairs
And all that I could do
Was touch her long blond hair
And i was thinking, what i was thining ya know
we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere
This is because I can spell konfusion with a K
It's hard to like it
It's to dying in anothers arms
and why i had to try it
It's to jimmy eat world
and those nights in my car
But this time i'm alone, and i don't see those stars
I'm not your star?
Isn't that what you said
what you thought this song meant
you thought this song meant
And if this is what it takes
just to lie in my mistakes
and live with what I did to you
And all the things i put you through
I always catch the clock it's 11:11
And now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream
You'll always be my Konstantine
They'll never hurt you like I do
No, They'll never hurt you like I do
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No
This is to a girl who got into my head
with all these pretty things she did
Hey Baby, You know that you keep me up in bed
It's to a girl who got into my head
with all the fucked up things I did
Hey maybe baby, you could keep me up in bed
My Konstantine
Spin around me like a dream
We played out on this movie screen
And I said,
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
God, I miss you
And then you bring me home
And we'll go to sleep but this time not alone, no no,
And you'll kiss me in your living room, oh
And you see, no, that i've been missing in my Living room
Cause this is what i miss, what i miss
We don't have much room
I said, does anyboy need that room?
Because we all need a little more room
To live
My Konstantine
If you haven't ever heard this song, listen to it. And if u dont understand it, listen to it again, and again, and again, untill you hear the message thats written between the lines.
It's sad to look out at all the people that we know and see how many of them hide themselves from life. It's sad to look into the mirror in the morning and know that you're hiding from the possible pain you could feel if you lived ur life without fear, without walls, without that protective bubble everyone holds so dear. That's why people lie. That's why people cheat. That's why people live their entire lives without saying the things they want to say to others. That's why people live behind the fake face they show everyone. And that's the reason so many people are unhappy, unsatisfied, and lost. Because everyone's afraid to feel. Everyone's afraid to open themselves up to life and live, to really live. To love, to lose, to dare to be different. We all pretend to be different, but we're not. We're all scared. Scared of the unknown. Scared of losing control over our little worlds, of letting others into that world. Because humans are flawed by nature. We all have them. We know about our own flaws, and we know how to deal with them. When we let others into our world, our bubble, we let in a set of flaws we're not prepared for, a set of flaws that we know nothing about. And we're all so scared that our worlds will come crashing down because we wont be able to deal with those flaws. Everyone seeks control in their lives, stability. Something we can count on. So we shut ourselves off. We pretend that we dont, that we're open, that we're welcoming. But we're not. We're all con artists. We hide from fear. We hide from pain. We hide from each other. We hide from raw emotion. Because we're scared. But it's ok. Because when i listen to this song, it reminds me that someone somewhere wasn't afraid to be real. They weren't afraid to be honest. There was no bubble. There was no nothing, just one person sharing their life, their love, their pain, with another person. And thats a beautiful thing.
I write this not because im calling others out, but because i'm calling myself out. I'm know i'm guilty of hiding, of being scared, just like so many of us out there. So please, when you read this, don't take it the wrong way. It wasn't directed towards anyone in paticular, moreso everyone that dreams of being "real". I hope this entry can be a starting point for everyone who reads this, because thats what i hope it will be for me.
I haven't posted in a while because everytime i do it's always misread, misinterpreted, and looked at in a way that i never meant for it to be. Like this entry. There's no hidden meaning, there's no clues, no cues, nothing. Its just me writting to myself, me thinking outloud. I just thought i might share my thoughts with those that care. I don't think i'll be posting very much for a while. I've decided to keep a written journal instead. That way my thoughts can't be misinterpreted or misread, and hopefully i wont be so scared to write what i'm really thinking about. It's nothing against anyone, just something that i feel i need to do. But don't fret, i will be back. I've just some sorting out to do. I hope everyone that reads this entry finds it helpful in some shape or form. Dont ever take what you have for granted, people or posessions. Be thankful for every experience. Be thankful for those that are in your life. You're family, your friends, your lovers and significant others, shit, even your pets. Everyone. You never know what tomorrow will bring. <3
Aqeel