(no subject)
i wake up at 4:30 in the morning every day just to see her. i set waiting to hear some kind of noise in the kitchen. when i hear it, i make sure i have to get water or go to the restroom, just so i can see her. just so i can talk to her. everything i see around the house, it reminds me of us. every movie i have in the house, i remember holding her while watching it. i remember everything about our time together. every moment comes to me as i lay awake in my bed. i remember how happy i was. i remember how happy you looked. i see pictures of us and she looks so happy. i look so happy. i can honestly say every picture of me with you is the happiest i look that i can remember. i constantly ask myself about why i am so stuck on this. it might be the fact that we live together, it might be because you rejected me and no the other way around and maybeit's because i love you. i just know that i can see my life being happy with you for the rest of it, even into marrage and old age. you can not see that. i understand. i just feel as though a peice of my of my life has been given to the sea with a brick tied to it to assure the return of them will never be. i hate this feeling. i know i have never been a great person in relationships. every girl i know, can say that about me. this is my karma. i got it all coming back. i have to tell you. i have tasted my own medicine and it tastes bitter and harsh.