Here I am...
Well, here I am. Sitting in MY bedroom of the house. You know, it actually feels just like being single again. except without my projector. I'm going to try to get that back though. at least 6 days a week. Then I can watch movies on the box spring set up against the wall by myself. One of the big differences is that there are cats in and out of my room a lot. The kitten just discovered my wiring for my speakers to my record player. Little pest sometimes. I don't have a dresser, so all of my clothes are in different piles on the other bed in my room. It works though.
As far as things with Marisa and myself go. I have no idea what's going on with that. It's total hot and cold. Last week, I was an emotional wreck. I couldn't get through a day without crying 6 times, at least. I was still drinking and smoking. I was going down the road I always go down when I'm depressed.
Then, Wednesday, I was late for work. I told myself I'm not going to do that anymore. I stopped drinking and smoking that day. When I got home, i checked out some German classes at ACC. Non-credit to start. You know, get back into the swing of school work. Once I finish Phase III of Conversational German, then I'll check out some credit classes and see about a degree plan. I set myself on that path today. I am signed up and all I have to do is show up for it. I'm excited.
Friday, I opened a checking and savings account. I went ahead and put my check from work in there and 10% of it into savings. This will be the first account I have had since I was 19. Don't even ask me about that.
Saturday, I turned in my direct deposit form with 10% of every check going right into savings. That way, I can have emerency money and I can start planning for a trip.
Sunday, Marisa and I had a great day. We made breakfast together. We ran some errands together. Then we went to see this amazing exhibit at AMOA (Austin Museum Of Art) called Radical NY. It really was a great thing to see. I signed up for their news letter and I can't wait to see what they'll have next. I went off to work after we were finished. I got a message from her saying "Thank you. I really did have a great day with you."
Then, most of today has been weird between her and myself. Mostly because I kept texting her with stupid things and since she didn't respond fast enough, I would get upset and say stupid things. So, she got home, things were weird between us again. She goes to sleep early and I have a lot of time to think by myself. I start typing this email to her. Mostly for my own therapy. It just dealt with my past and where all of my problems with growing up and not taking responsability for my own actions comes from. So, I have completed 9/10's of my goal list for this month so far. I added a new one tonight. Work on my patience. Not just with other people, but mostly making myself be more patient. just because someone doesn't respond fast enough to a text message doesn't mean that they're ignoring me. If I keep this up, everyone will start ignoring my text messages, and calls, and emails and me when I'm out. That seems to be working in the wrong direction for me.
So, Recap. Here's what I've done:
~Signed up for school
~Opened a checking and savings account
~Signed up for direct deposit with 10% going right into savings
~Quit smoking
~Started my 30 day fast of booze (day 6 and no problems except for boredom)
~Started dressing a little snappier
~Located the basis of my problems so I can see them happening in the future.
Wish me luck, guys. I'm actually going to grow up in front of your eyes. With any luck, I might even get Marisa back. That might be too much wishful thinking, but I hope not.
As far as things with Marisa and myself go. I have no idea what's going on with that. It's total hot and cold. Last week, I was an emotional wreck. I couldn't get through a day without crying 6 times, at least. I was still drinking and smoking. I was going down the road I always go down when I'm depressed.
Then, Wednesday, I was late for work. I told myself I'm not going to do that anymore. I stopped drinking and smoking that day. When I got home, i checked out some German classes at ACC. Non-credit to start. You know, get back into the swing of school work. Once I finish Phase III of Conversational German, then I'll check out some credit classes and see about a degree plan. I set myself on that path today. I am signed up and all I have to do is show up for it. I'm excited.
Friday, I opened a checking and savings account. I went ahead and put my check from work in there and 10% of it into savings. This will be the first account I have had since I was 19. Don't even ask me about that.
Saturday, I turned in my direct deposit form with 10% of every check going right into savings. That way, I can have emerency money and I can start planning for a trip.
Sunday, Marisa and I had a great day. We made breakfast together. We ran some errands together. Then we went to see this amazing exhibit at AMOA (Austin Museum Of Art) called Radical NY. It really was a great thing to see. I signed up for their news letter and I can't wait to see what they'll have next. I went off to work after we were finished. I got a message from her saying "Thank you. I really did have a great day with you."
Then, most of today has been weird between her and myself. Mostly because I kept texting her with stupid things and since she didn't respond fast enough, I would get upset and say stupid things. So, she got home, things were weird between us again. She goes to sleep early and I have a lot of time to think by myself. I start typing this email to her. Mostly for my own therapy. It just dealt with my past and where all of my problems with growing up and not taking responsability for my own actions comes from. So, I have completed 9/10's of my goal list for this month so far. I added a new one tonight. Work on my patience. Not just with other people, but mostly making myself be more patient. just because someone doesn't respond fast enough to a text message doesn't mean that they're ignoring me. If I keep this up, everyone will start ignoring my text messages, and calls, and emails and me when I'm out. That seems to be working in the wrong direction for me.
So, Recap. Here's what I've done:
~Signed up for school
~Opened a checking and savings account
~Signed up for direct deposit with 10% going right into savings
~Quit smoking
~Started my 30 day fast of booze (day 6 and no problems except for boredom)
~Started dressing a little snappier
~Located the basis of my problems so I can see them happening in the future.
Wish me luck, guys. I'm actually going to grow up in front of your eyes. With any luck, I might even get Marisa back. That might be too much wishful thinking, but I hope not.