from the outside

[ihateyougodie]

Ok ever since I grad. life's been crazy. And everything I do is incredibly stupid, now obviously when it's all happening I'm not thinking about it. But like right now I sit back and I think. All the parties, all the people, all the mistakes, all the drugs, all the decisions, all the hate, rage, understanding, misunderstandings, problems, everything could have been avoided. I guess this is what living is, making mistakes and getting threw them. I thought drama stopped.... well after I got out of the taunton area most of it did, than I realized that people have actual issues.... bigger issues, than I would or could ever think of. the little things are evaporated, the real issues now are HUGE and incomprehensible. things are so diffrent when you actually grow up, the he said she said shit evaporates, the drug issues and relationships get bigger, parents getting sick of dealing and people having no where to go. To think.... my biggest concern 2 years ago was somone liking my boyfriend, now it's weather or not to call the police on the one I have now, getting threats, having people jumped, trying to stay away for a certain areas, fallowing people into the shadyest places you can think of, having to get weapons, worring about other people having weapons, wondering if you turn of your phone if you'll get a message of one of your friends going to the hospital for an overdose or a call from someone asking you to bail them out, having to hide my car.....
you must think I'm a huge druggie now hu? I've done all kinds of pills and weed. I stopped with the pills I do them when availble and free, and weed.... yea I smoke, but other than that nothing, all this shit is from everyone else doing drugs, getting into the heavier shit, I'm on the sidelines, just a friend, just here to help and amuse you.... maybe I should break away.