i'm depressed
so like... i think i'm going to go to sleep soon.
i feel stupid. like, i feel like nothing about me is good enough. not even by specific standards. just not good enough, period. i don't really feel like being alive right now. and don't trip on me, like i'm being emo and i'm going to kill myself. i just really wish i could start a new life at this age. i'd really like to take my mother, and my girlfriend with me though. but i don't think that's how it works. of course, this is about not being attractive enough, stereo systems, and speeding tickets... but i really hope there's some deeper meaning. because i don't get like this for nothing. and i'm bad right now. really bad. i just want to take back everything i've done wrong, and whatever i've done right - i want to go back and do it better. i feel like crying... so i think i will. i like the plain white t's song "hey there dililah" take a guess why. maybe because my girlfriend makes me really happy. also, that song "say this sooner" by the almost is really catchy. and it makes me want to sing along. but i can't stand underoath. therefore i don't think i should like that song anymore. this really sucks. so i think i'm just going to keep typing. songs: ohia - how to be perfect men just ended on my windows media player.. and sonic youth - 100% came on next. : / i hate when songs ruin moods. sonic youth did it this time. wait.. what the fuck? everytime i listen to how to be perfect men sonic youth comes on next! that's just the order of the albums in my media library. FUCK IM STILL LISTENING TO IT! SHIIIIT okay, now it's smashing pumpkins - eye
does anyone like that song? my girlfriend really likes it. so even if i didn't like it, i still would.. cause she does. i like her. she makes me happy. i get to not go to work tomorrow, and see her instead. hopefully she makes me happy. and i will temporarily forget about all my troubles for a day. or something. she's wonderful. and beautiful. and smart. and funny. and beautiful. and caring. and loving... did i say beautiful. god, she's gorgeous. i've never met a girl with more sex appeal. uhh, i think i'll stop there. since i only have guys on my friends list. uhm, i love her.
smashing pumpkins are good. this song is good. what album is this on? does anyone care about albums? or are you guys a bunch of fags who just hear songs on the radio and like the band accordingly? i hate all of you. i really don't mean that. :( i'm sorry. really i am. please forgive me. i can't have more discomfort right now. you know, a lot of this struggle relates to money. if i had a lot of money, most of these troubles wouldn't exist. dead serious. is that sad? or just realistic? by the way, whoever reads this, let me know if you know any ways to make money by like.. activites that don't take more than a day, you know? one would be recycling cans and shit... but i don't drink soda, so i don't have any cans. anything else? seriously.. i'm desperate. did i say? i don't think so. uhm, this song is about to end too.. any suggestions? eh, fuck you. okay, slightly stoopid - collie man. do you like slightly stoopid? i do, they make me really happy. but i don't think it will work this time.
my mom bought the new shins album like two months ago. i feel really silly for that. heh, i don't even listen to them though. uhm. i'm happy i don't have to work tomorrow. did i mention i love my girlfriend? i know it's not smart to try to stay with someone forever from the age of 18.. but i think i'm going to go for it. sex, and being single, and all that stuff really doesn't mean much to me right now. i just want to be happy.. and i feel like she makes me the happiest. so whatever. i'm probably gonna get married soon. fuck it. i want a baby boy. so i can beat him. just kidding. so i can exploit him. just kidding.
god this sucks.
music is rise against now. the song is called heaven knows. it's really good. it's punk, but the lyrics are depressing. i like it. i like depressing music. cause i don't get depressed by listening to it. i just listen to it when i get depressed. get it? good.
uhm, i don't know. i love you, candace. : /
i made an unsure face because i really do sincerly love you. but i just feel so horrible right now. i really do. :( but don't ever forget that i will always be there for you.
i'm back to the almost's song. it's good. ;( i'm lame. i like rock with range. so fuck you.
i can't believe i didn't say this sooner.
seriously, i can't. fuck this. i'm done.
thanks for listening.
i feel stupid. like, i feel like nothing about me is good enough. not even by specific standards. just not good enough, period. i don't really feel like being alive right now. and don't trip on me, like i'm being emo and i'm going to kill myself. i just really wish i could start a new life at this age. i'd really like to take my mother, and my girlfriend with me though. but i don't think that's how it works. of course, this is about not being attractive enough, stereo systems, and speeding tickets... but i really hope there's some deeper meaning. because i don't get like this for nothing. and i'm bad right now. really bad. i just want to take back everything i've done wrong, and whatever i've done right - i want to go back and do it better. i feel like crying... so i think i will. i like the plain white t's song "hey there dililah" take a guess why. maybe because my girlfriend makes me really happy. also, that song "say this sooner" by the almost is really catchy. and it makes me want to sing along. but i can't stand underoath. therefore i don't think i should like that song anymore. this really sucks. so i think i'm just going to keep typing. songs: ohia - how to be perfect men just ended on my windows media player.. and sonic youth - 100% came on next. : / i hate when songs ruin moods. sonic youth did it this time. wait.. what the fuck? everytime i listen to how to be perfect men sonic youth comes on next! that's just the order of the albums in my media library. FUCK IM STILL LISTENING TO IT! SHIIIIT okay, now it's smashing pumpkins - eye
does anyone like that song? my girlfriend really likes it. so even if i didn't like it, i still would.. cause she does. i like her. she makes me happy. i get to not go to work tomorrow, and see her instead. hopefully she makes me happy. and i will temporarily forget about all my troubles for a day. or something. she's wonderful. and beautiful. and smart. and funny. and beautiful. and caring. and loving... did i say beautiful. god, she's gorgeous. i've never met a girl with more sex appeal. uhh, i think i'll stop there. since i only have guys on my friends list. uhm, i love her.
smashing pumpkins are good. this song is good. what album is this on? does anyone care about albums? or are you guys a bunch of fags who just hear songs on the radio and like the band accordingly? i hate all of you. i really don't mean that. :( i'm sorry. really i am. please forgive me. i can't have more discomfort right now. you know, a lot of this struggle relates to money. if i had a lot of money, most of these troubles wouldn't exist. dead serious. is that sad? or just realistic? by the way, whoever reads this, let me know if you know any ways to make money by like.. activites that don't take more than a day, you know? one would be recycling cans and shit... but i don't drink soda, so i don't have any cans. anything else? seriously.. i'm desperate. did i say? i don't think so. uhm, this song is about to end too.. any suggestions? eh, fuck you. okay, slightly stoopid - collie man. do you like slightly stoopid? i do, they make me really happy. but i don't think it will work this time.
my mom bought the new shins album like two months ago. i feel really silly for that. heh, i don't even listen to them though. uhm. i'm happy i don't have to work tomorrow. did i mention i love my girlfriend? i know it's not smart to try to stay with someone forever from the age of 18.. but i think i'm going to go for it. sex, and being single, and all that stuff really doesn't mean much to me right now. i just want to be happy.. and i feel like she makes me the happiest. so whatever. i'm probably gonna get married soon. fuck it. i want a baby boy. so i can beat him. just kidding. so i can exploit him. just kidding.
god this sucks.
music is rise against now. the song is called heaven knows. it's really good. it's punk, but the lyrics are depressing. i like it. i like depressing music. cause i don't get depressed by listening to it. i just listen to it when i get depressed. get it? good.
uhm, i don't know. i love you, candace. : /
i made an unsure face because i really do sincerly love you. but i just feel so horrible right now. i really do. :( but don't ever forget that i will always be there for you.
i'm back to the almost's song. it's good. ;( i'm lame. i like rock with range. so fuck you.
i can't believe i didn't say this sooner.
seriously, i can't. fuck this. i'm done.
thanks for listening.