Pick me up on the friend-SHIP...
Allyson Li's definition of a perfect friend:
1. DOES NOT just take my legos and run
2. NEVER throws rocks or sharp objects at me
3. Makes sure that I always have a lab partner for science class so I don't have to share a microscope with Pinkeye Pete.
4. Ewwww, PINKEYE.
5. Yeah, even though I'm on number 5 already, pinkeye is definitely still really gross.
6. I feel kinda bad for Pinkeye Pete. It's not his fault that he was born with pinkeye.
7. Who's BORN with pinkeye anyway? What a loser.
8. BONER. Ahahahhaa just kidding, that's gross.
9. I like Golden Retrievers. They're nice and DON'T STEAL PROM DATES. You know who you are, you freaking gigantic mountain of suck.
10. Gives me all their money and toys.
Maybe if I tell everyone that I was born in a sweatshop, they'd feel bad for me and give me money.
But psh, I don't care about MONEY. I care about having that one perfect friend (see numero 10)
And I already found my perfect friend. And I love him, no matter what happens. EVEN IF HE LOOKS LIKE THIS -------------> "-/ (look at it sideways) And if you understand what the face represents, then most likely, you're him.
Well, all the partial open enrollment forms are filled out... NOT by my parental guardian, however...
BUT BY ME.
Because my parents are crum bums.
So if you're lucky, you'll have me in one of your classes next year.
Such as the following: (*subject to change)
AP Stats
AP Physics C
AP Chemistry
AP Calc BC* (maybe through CTD)
AP English Literature and Composition
AP Biology
AP Computer Science AB* (might be a study hall instead)
Who am I kidding? I'm one of those DUMB ASIANS.
Tune in next week when I teach everyone how to dump someone... the ASIAN way.
SIDE BAR: Breaking up in Chinese means to "let go of hands"... that's because we Chinese are NOT skankbags, and only get as far as holding hands. That's like striking out 3 times and never getting to first base.
Allyson Li says: "It's time to take our love relationSHIP to shore and throw away the oars... forever."