INTROVERsial Conspiracy
never play with fire. you might got burn.
well, i got burnt dammit to hell. i was really not expecting for him to come back to me kneeing or what. its just that, I’m still not strong enough for him. i cant take it all anymore. its so unhealthy to be with him and at the same time, soothing other bad illness in my life. i was pretty addicted to the crappiest thing in the world I’ve ever known. can you blame me?
its hurting all over again. and it sucks to be me right now. i have known in the back of my mind that some things would eventually backfire. and i guess, it has its own special way and technique. curse…
its frustrating to think of something you clearly don’t know what about. CURIOSITY killed the cat, they say. i have to know, i have to know. its killing not to know of anything. its like I’m being stupid that i have to know about something and i didn’t do about it. its not being nosy or whatnot.its not about that. i just have to know the things. and I’m confused which is which are the real truths of what? sounds crazy. its too complicated as it seems to be. it fuckin’ sucks.
and guess what? i cant help myself. omg. yeah, my friend told me last night. “Without commitment isn’t easy. You can’t rule out some thing even if you really want to. too many restriction.” and i was like, yeah i know. but at the back of my mind, i asked myself if i could handle it. i don’t know. I’m freaking out of control as of the late.
now, I’m pissed off because i have too many issues to deal with. to settle before going into battle of unknown. i hate being unprepared. I’m not the adventurous kind of thing. I’m afraid.
ahhhh. fucking out of control. why would life like to bitch you?
it sucks to be me right now, if you only know. over the past few days has sucked up my bliss. and I’m left nothing but a corpse.