Feeling Used..
Hmm, today was uneventful..pretty damn boring as a matter of fact. I keep making the same mistake over and over again..I keep kissing Omar. He's my ex-boyfriend, the one I'm supposed to be getting over. I know I shouldn't let him and I try to put my foot down and not let him cross the line anymore. But how do I stop? I don't want to kiss him. I don't want to be a part of him anymore. And at the same time I miss all of it and I wish I didn't have to let go of his affection. *Sigh* I have to get over him. It's over and nothing and no one can change that. It was a decision I made and I have to go through with it..no matter how tempting. Omar...I need you to stop trying. I've told you many times over..you're not getting me back. Just stop..you're just making this harder, I don't want to keep putting my life on pause for you. I love you, but thats something I need to change. I need to get over you and vice versa, cuz this time I'm not turning back. You're right, the day I found out you were in the hospital, it was a wake up call. But not one that was telling me that I needed to be with you..one that was telling me that I need to get away from you. You've already met new people and you're already talking to other girls so I don't understand what the problem is. Just let me go..or I'll be forced to make you. Maybe letting you be my friend and keeping the connection with you was a bad idea. Maybe I should have just cut you off completely. I just let myself open for emotion to flood. Big mistake.