Talking about Depression/Anxiety
I started talking with Flora this past week since she and I had tentatively agreed to go see a movie sometime between now and end of July but work just swallows up all my time and I didn't want her to think I had forgotten about her.
Well, apparently, Aron hadn't exaggerated - Flora doesn't like their dad either. Like, at all. She says he's a jerk and it would be ideal if I never had to meet him because he's an ass. Which prompted me to ask what it was like to live with him and if Aron sugarcoats their family environment because obviously he's going to be guarded in maintaining privacy to an extent. I told her he talks about surface level stuff but that she would know more, actually living with them and it was cool to hear her insight about the environment.
The mental illness thing came up briefly where she mentioned she had no issue talking about it - "Feel free to ask me about my depression/anxiety any time" - and turns out, nothing traumatic happened. She was miserable during her teen years but then it escalated during college to the point where they brought her to see doctors and now she's on medication.
"It was really bad. We tried to pass it off but it didn't go away. I had to drop out because of the pressure although I really liked college. I was miserable all the time and couldn't even muster up the courage to talk online to my own guildmates. Like I was petrified. Then they prescribed meds for me and it is SO MUCH BETTER now. Sometimes I have panic attacks and things like that, then someone like Aron comes in and is like 'What's wrong? Sit down, calm TF down damn it, here's what we can do to solve it.' He's great at remaining calm and then afterwards I feel silly for freaking out. It's not logical and I know it's dumb, but that's how to handle it."
Then during dinner, while I was taking my sweet time waiting for my food, I asked her about it again. I said Aron noted "It used to be really bad for you - what was it like back then? I mean, according to him you don't leave the house. Do you like going out or socializing? You seem like a really fun person to talk and hang out with."
She replied:
"I guess I'm less sad than I used to be? It's moreso habit than actually feeling afraid to go out. I really do enjoy opportunities to go out, but I don't have a reason to. No job or anything. I worry a lot about messing up and things like that. I can't imagine holding down a job in my current state, as soon as it gets difficult I'd just give up."
So I told her a little bit about my employment past, gave her an example of my first job. I told her "You know, I think once you stabilize your life, I think you'd do fine."
The name change thing got brought up when we started talking about online alises, and she joked about wanting to change her legal name to her online alias since she feels it suits her better. Then she goes "I just realized in context how that might have sounded, I don't think you changing your name would hurt your parent's feelings."
So apparently she poked at him to ask about my background and he mentioned it but kept my English name private. Poor Flora was like ".... I don't know your other name, it was private, but I think I might have poked at him too much and he slipped up because I was asking if you knew Mandarin. Sorry!" XD
She's been a lot of fun to chat with, and seemingly open.
Well, apparently, Aron hadn't exaggerated - Flora doesn't like their dad either. Like, at all. She says he's a jerk and it would be ideal if I never had to meet him because he's an ass. Which prompted me to ask what it was like to live with him and if Aron sugarcoats their family environment because obviously he's going to be guarded in maintaining privacy to an extent. I told her he talks about surface level stuff but that she would know more, actually living with them and it was cool to hear her insight about the environment.
The mental illness thing came up briefly where she mentioned she had no issue talking about it - "Feel free to ask me about my depression/anxiety any time" - and turns out, nothing traumatic happened. She was miserable during her teen years but then it escalated during college to the point where they brought her to see doctors and now she's on medication.
"It was really bad. We tried to pass it off but it didn't go away. I had to drop out because of the pressure although I really liked college. I was miserable all the time and couldn't even muster up the courage to talk online to my own guildmates. Like I was petrified. Then they prescribed meds for me and it is SO MUCH BETTER now. Sometimes I have panic attacks and things like that, then someone like Aron comes in and is like 'What's wrong? Sit down, calm TF down damn it, here's what we can do to solve it.' He's great at remaining calm and then afterwards I feel silly for freaking out. It's not logical and I know it's dumb, but that's how to handle it."
Then during dinner, while I was taking my sweet time waiting for my food, I asked her about it again. I said Aron noted "It used to be really bad for you - what was it like back then? I mean, according to him you don't leave the house. Do you like going out or socializing? You seem like a really fun person to talk and hang out with."
She replied:
"I guess I'm less sad than I used to be? It's moreso habit than actually feeling afraid to go out. I really do enjoy opportunities to go out, but I don't have a reason to. No job or anything. I worry a lot about messing up and things like that. I can't imagine holding down a job in my current state, as soon as it gets difficult I'd just give up."
So I told her a little bit about my employment past, gave her an example of my first job. I told her "You know, I think once you stabilize your life, I think you'd do fine."
The name change thing got brought up when we started talking about online alises, and she joked about wanting to change her legal name to her online alias since she feels it suits her better. Then she goes "I just realized in context how that might have sounded, I don't think you changing your name would hurt your parent's feelings."
So apparently she poked at him to ask about my background and he mentioned it but kept my English name private. Poor Flora was like ".... I don't know your other name, it was private, but I think I might have poked at him too much and he slipped up because I was asking if you knew Mandarin. Sorry!" XD
She's been a lot of fun to chat with, and seemingly open.