Merlin 2x07 Rather Large Episode Reaction/Picspam (150 screenshots)
Sorry this is so late!
Merlin 2x07 Rather Large Episode Reaction/Picspam (The Witchfinder AKA Bad Juju and You: Merlin Works His Sadface) Episode Reaction/Picspam (150 screenshots)
*The episode opens with tired, pretty Merlin gathering firewood in the forest. I am literally incapable of viewing this scene without thinking of Merlin singing songs about being overworked and dreaming about better tomorrows with all his woodland friends, who he’s thoughtfully outfitted in little shoes and scarves
*Merlin is not-so-secretly a 12 year old girl, so, in the absence of a glittery rainbow unicorn diary in which to write his thoughts and dreams and emo love poetry about Arthur’s golden hair and extremely shapely biceps, he does the next best thing and makes a pretty prancing pony out of the smoke from a nearby bonfire
Displayed: an idiot
*Colin Morgan is looking exceptionally lovely in this episode
*And then: buttsex!
Arthur’s found himself an apple-bottomed boy
*But the sodomy was just a cruel tease to keep us watching. What really happens is that some peasant lady saw the smoke and started freaking out and asking Merlin if he saw it too
Smoke? What smoke? I surely didn’t see any prancing pony smoke. You’re high, madam. You’re on crack, or its medieval equivalent!
*The peasant lady runs off and tattles about the smoke pony to Uther
Uther makes his angerface, Arthur slouches against the back of his throne like a big, unimpressed ginger cat and makes it clear he thinks the peasant lady has been smoking some bad juju, and Morgana has a quiet panic attack in the corner and white-knuckles her throne (this is a sensitive issue for her)
Meanwhile, Merlin looks like a sad little pound puppy who has just misbehaved. I can’t help but think that someone’s just smacked him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper and said, “Bad Merlin! Bad!”
*Arthur is all, like, “#le sigh# Well, I guess I’ll go pry Sabrina, the Teenage Witch’s little sister away from her My Little Pony playset and Barbie Dreamhouse and arrest her, then,” and Uther’s, like, “No need. SEND FOR THE WITCHHUNTERFINDER!!!”
*Gauis is furious that Merlin was so conspicuous with his magic
“DAMN IT, MERLIN, YOU NEED TO KEEP THE MAGIC SECRET. THAT’S OUR FRIGGIN’ TAGLINE AND EVERYTHING! I’M SO MAD ABOUT YOU BEING CARELESS AND REVEALING YOUR POWERS THAT I’M GOING TO YELL ABOUT IT IN THIS ROOM THAT ADJOINS A CASTLE STAIRWAY.”
*Meanwhile, I’m pleasantly distracted by Merlin’s face
*“You must hide the book-anything that can connect you to saucery sorcery in any way.”
“What, now?”
*“[The witchfinder] is a force to be reckoned with.”
“But I’m not a witch. Look, no dress or anything. #dorky smile#”
*The witchfinder rolls into town like a straight-up wicked motherfucker
Even his hat drips with malice
*Gwen and Morgana watch the witchfinder’s arrival through Morgana’s window. Gwen wants to know what his cage is for, perhaps forgetting her imprisonment in the S&M bandit king’s dungeon earlier in the season. I forgive her for not making the connection-the witchfinder is no dirty S&M bandit, he’s the kind of precisely sadistic dom you pay $500 an hour for and who won’t give you a safeword
*“Do you smell it?”
#dramatic pause#
“Do you smell what The Rock is cooking it, Uther? It’s all around us, the foul stench of sorcery.”
*Uther is all, like, “HAI, GURL, HAI! ♥___♥” and the Witchfinder is all, like, “STFU, N00B. Hullooo, Arthur, you’re looking quite dreamy today. ^___~”
*The Witchfinder-and it’s getting tedious to keep calling him that, so from now on I’m going to call him “Smuggle,” which is a combination of “Smug” and “Muggle”-explains that magic is very ~*~subtle~*~ (which, dude, you’re here because of a prancing smoke pony, how much more obvious could that be? o_O) and that only he can catch people who use it
*Smuggle meets Merlin and gives off some extremely strong old-man-who-exposes-himself-at-the-park vibes whilst Merlin looks nervous and fey
*He orders Merlin to meet him in his room later. For “questioning.” I silently hope Merlin won’t accept any food or drinks Smuggle may offer him, as Smuggle is giving him some serious creepster looks here
Smuggle hates to watch Merlin go, but he loves to watch him walk away
*Smuggle has decided to live green and is recycling his decorative Halloween skull as a stylish ink-holder of evil
*Merlin is nervous, but he’s wearing the double-locked chastity belt Gauis gave him for Christmas, so he should be okay
*I have trouble paying attention to the plot when Merlin’s bottom lip does things like this to distract me
*Merlin reminds us once again that he’s an atrocious liar. Instead of saying he wasn’t paying attention to the smoke because he was busy picking up the wood that he’d dropped-which the peasant woman would have verified, as that’s what Merlin was doing when she ran up to him-he flounders and says he saw the smoke but didn’t see what the woman had seen in it
*Smuggle gathers up a few bullshit witnesses who say they’ve seen some spooky Hocus Pocus-type shit going on. He then says the sorcerer is in the room
*“THE BOY, MERLIN! #POINTS ACCUSING FINGER#”
*The royal guards search through Gauis and Merlin’s rooms. If by “search” you mean “break a bunch of crap and throw papers in the air like giddy little schoolchildren”
Fuck yeah that’s Arthur voguing in the back
*One of the guards breaks Gauis’s sand art bottle and finds some magic bling inside
I bet Smuggle planted it there; that seems like something he’d do
*Gauis can’t bear thinking of his nubile young boy chained up in those drafty dungeons at Smuggle’s mercy, so he claims the magic bling is his
*Merlin is released from the dungeons and has a nice cry about the guards ripping all the pages out of his Spice Girls Grrl Power! notebook (he’d practiced writing “Mrs. Merlin Pendragon” on those pages for hours, you see). Oh, also he feels a little bad that Gauis is imprisoned, but whatev
I feel a little wrong for finding crying!Merlin so attractive. But only a little
*Uther continues his long tradition of having pleasant dinners with people actively trying to fuck up his kingdom. Smuggle convinces Uther to let him try and get a confession from Gauis
I just can’t take Bradley James seriously when he’s making that face. #giggles# Also, I expected Arthur to have more of a reaction to Smuggle getting permission to torture an old man. Then again, Arthur is probably still upset about Gauis slipping him a roofie those two times
*Smuggle mistreats Gauis in a family-friendly montage of evil
*Merlin angsts
*Merlin asks the Slash Dragon for help
“I did a stupid thing. A stupid, stupid thing. And now Gauis is going to die for it. T___T”
“Gauis means nothing to me.”
LOL! The Slash Dragon is really growing on me this season. I didn’t really care for him in season 1 (his talk about ~*~Destiny~*~ and Arthur and Merlin being ~*~Two Sides of the Same Coin~*~ was funny, but he was remarkably unhelpful when it came to practical advice), but after Merlin and he fought at the end of season 1, the Slash Dragon has been different-more honest, I think, offering his genuine, direct opinion and assistance to Merlin with the frank understanding that his help comes at the price of his eventual freedom.
I think that we’re only now, in season 2, getting to see the Slash Dragon’s real personality-and I think he’s a creature who considers things in terms of ideas. He has an idea of what Albion will be like under King Arthur, and he is working towards that idea. He doesn’t really care about people individually; Arthur and Merlin and Gauis and Morgana and everyone else aren’t important except as a means to an end (and that end is to bring magic back to Camelot and to free the dragon from his captivity).
*SKIP THIS PART IF YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED IN A SLASH DRAGON MINI-METARANT
The more I think about the Slash Dragon’s situation, the worse I feel for him-and the more annoyed I feel by Merlin.
Here’s this centuries-old creature whose entire species was wiped out by some grief-mad, hypocritical king who kept him alive as some sort of sick trophy, chained and lonely in the dark at the bottom of the castle, his only distractions mealtimes and then, later, visits from a self-absorbed, half-grown wizard who the Slash Dragon realized was his best chance at escape.
And then when Merlin found out the Slash Dragon wanted Merlin to free him, Merlin had the audacity to be shocked by that and reject the creature who’d aided him so much, only to come running back to him for help once the next crisis struck? Ugh!
If I were chained up in some claustrophobic underground cave with no one but a needy teenager for company, you’re damn right I’d be trying to get the hell out of there-and Merlin would, too, which he’d realize if he ever stopped to consider things from anyone else’s perspective.
I understand that Merlin is young and doesn’t have the maturity to fully understand or consider the day-to-day reality of the dragon’s captivity, but, goddamn, have a little sympathy, Merlin. The dragon’s got his own shit to deal with-namely, the unrelenting horror of a slow death in the monotony of his jail cell.
*The dragon is all, like, “IDK what to do here, dude,” and Merlin is, like, “O__O --> T__T”
YOU’VE FAILED ME, SENSEI!
*Smuggle threatens Merlin and Morgana to get Gauis to confess. Uther sentences Gauis to death
Arthur is still strangely passive about all this. Also, you’ll notice that Arthur’s looking at Merlin during this scene, not Gauis
*Merlin runs at Smuggle saying, “You’re a liar!” and Arthur gets to Merlin in, like, two seconds (he was watching him, after all) and manhandles him out of the room, umph
Merlin looks like a little baby koala clinging to a tree branch, LMAO
*Arthur drags Merlin all through the castle to the dungeons and gives him what he needs
(Sidenote: In this part Bradley uses this soft, velvety, soothing voice on Merlin that Arthur must use to calm down skittish horses or something-or possibly when seducing people into his bed in the rare times a smile and a toss of his golden head wasn’t enough-and, nngghh, it was so awesome. For a minute there I got really excited thinking that Arthur was going to bust Gauis out of prison for Merlin, but that didn’t end up happening. It’s okay, though, because did you hear that voice of sex??)
*What Merlin needs is to say goodbye to Gauis, of course. I don’t know what you were thinking o_O #judging emotocon is judging#
No, of course there are no guards around Gauis’s cell, it’s not like a sorcerer would be under a close watch or anything
*Merlin and Gauis find out that the magical bling didn’t belong to either of them, and I’m sure important emotional things were said, but I was distracted by this FACE
Also, I’m wondering why Arthur hasn’t left a bite mark on that bit of skin between Merlin’s neckerchief and tunic yet, but I suppose he’s saving that for sometime when Merlin isn’t all weepy about his father-figure being executed and whatnot
*The guards are building a bonfire in the courtyard, and Merlin and Morgana watch mournfully from their respective windows
The resemblance is uncanny. Seriously, slap a wig and some lipstick on Merlin and you’d have some sexually-confused noblemen
*Gwen runs to Merlin and tells him that Smuggle is questioning Morgana again. I’m not sure what she expects Merlin to do about it, though, since for all she knows he’s just an ordinary, non-magical servant
Pretty Gwen is pretty <333
*Merlin deduces that Smuggle had planted the magic bling in his and Gauis’s rooms (HAHA, I WAS RIGHT. Not that that was particularly hard to predict, but I feel accomplished nonetheless. Also, why did it take Merlin several hours between finding out the magical bling wasn’t his or Gauis’s to the time Gwen told him about Smuggle questioning Morgana for him to figure out that the magical bling must have been put there by Smuggle?). He thinks Smuggle’s trying to get Morgana to confess that she's a witch. Merlin runs off to collect some evidence that Smuggle is a fraud
*Merlin snoops in Smuggle’s room
*Suddenly, Merlin hears Smuggle coming
*So he uses magic to make the bed he’d done a half-assed job looking through earlier and hadn’t remade right away because he’s an idiot
(Though a pretty one, and he looks kind of like a vampire here, which is sort of cool)
*Then Merlin hides under the bed. But he left the cabinet door open, just as he did when he was snooping in the villain's room in the last episode. Did I mention Merlin is terrible at this sleuthing thing?
*Merlin finds out the flower petals he'd found locked in the cabinet in Smuggle’s room can be used to cause hallucinations (so all this was caused by some bad juju after all!), and Gwen figures out that Smuggle’s false witnesses must have come into contact with the petals in some kind of cosmetic
Even in moments of crisis, a straight guy would have found the time to have least glanced at Gwen’s exceptionally nice bosoms. Oh, Merlin, you are gayer than Elton John riding into a gay pride parade on a white tiger with a Bedazzled velvet saddle, LOL
This is the guy Smuggle forced to sell the bad juju cosmetics to those girls. How am I supposed to focus on anything when that guy’s hair is making its great escape from his head?
Merlin’s puppyface is a great and terrible weapon. If he ever thought to use it on Arthur, I bet Arthur would totally melt like a slab of butter on a hot griddle. Merlin would be, like, “Hey, Arthur, could you conquer Mercia for me?” and Arthur would be, like, “Are you crazy? Why would I-” “#PUPPYFACE OF DOOM#” “Of course I’ll conquer Mercia for you, my cherished little butterfly. #besotted#”
Luckily for Mercia, Merlin hasn’t thought to try that yet, because he’s usually: A) fighting with Arthur, B) Polishing Arthur’s sword, C) Saving Arthur from death with fortuitously-timed falling tree branches, or D) Getting fucked to within an inch of his life on Arthur’s lavish bed
*Gwen says they still need some more evidence to prove Smuggle is a fraud, so Merlin sneaks back into Smuggle’s room and performs some magic on Smuggle’s locked cabinet and throat, because clearly recklessly sneaking into people’s rooms and doing magic to save the kingdom even though he could be killed if they woke up and saw him is something Merlin isn’t bothered by
*Meanwhile, Gwen waits in Gauis’s rooms and does nothing. The writers have the bad habit of focusing on only one of the main characters and the villain and ignoring everyone else
*Smuggle taunts Gauis in his cell before Gauis’s execution by saying he’ll be going after Merlin and Morgana after all. Smuggle is a cold bitch. It’s a little bit fabulous
*I sort of love it when Smuggle drags Gauis from the cage (Smuggle’s such a drama-queen; Gauis didn’t need to be caged for the short trip across the courtyard) and Arthur tells him, “Easy there! Show some respect.” Plus, even though I don’t think Arthur would have stood idly by all this episode-and more about that in a moment-I do like that, though Uther couldn’t bear to stay and watch an execution he’d ordered, Arthur forced himself to witness it. Arthur was right there in front of the pyre as a show of respect for Gauis, even though he believed Gauis was a sorcerer
*At this point the writers realized, “HOSHIT, only Merlin’s done anything this episode-and Gwen, for those four minutes she was helping Merlin-and we haven’t even added a random Arthur/Gwen moment yet. =o(” So Gwen convinces Arthur to stop Gauis’s execution so Merlin can present evidence against Smuggle to the king
*SKIP THIS PART IF YOU DON’T WANT TO READ A MINI-METARANT ON ARTHUR’S RELATIONSHIPS WITH GWEN AND MERLIN
Alright, so, I’m having problems with this bit of the episode.
First of all, why has Arthur been so strangely passive this whole episode, when usually he doesn’t shirk away from speaking up against an injustice? I mean, last episode he refused his father’s order to tax the peasants again, but now he can’t say, “Um, Daddy, perhaps you shouldn’t burn your BFF in a pyre without examining all the facts first?” without having Gwen there to force him to do it? Arthur Pendragon is not the kind of guy who hears there’s evidence to prove someone innocent and says, “Well, I can’t do anything about it. I guess I’ll just let an innocent man I’ve known all my life get murdered, then,” and has to be coaxed into saving him.
I understand that the writers want us to see that Gwen is making Arthur into a better and more just ruler, but I think they’ve gone about it very clumsily. Arthur’s characterization and importance are extremely inconsistent across the episodes; he regresses and advances and regresses at the whim of the storylines. I know this show is intended to be liked by children, but that shouldn’t mean it’s dumbed down so much that it becomes inaccessible by adults.
I also know this episode is supposed to form a parallel with Uther finding out about Gauis doing magic with Arthur later finding out that Merlin is doing magic, but I think that comparison is an unsound one; Gauis wasn’t actually performing any magic, and that’s what saves him this episode. I think Arthur would save a man he believed was innocent of magic (Gauis) without hesitation-making this scene superfluous-but I think he would feel some initial conflict about saving a man who was magic (Merlin). Finding out about Merlin’s magic will be Arthur’s real test of character.
The other thing bothering me, to a lesser extent, is why it had to be Gwen who convinced Arthur to do what’s right. I know why they did it, of course-they wanted another Arthur/Gwen moment-but, well, IDK. It’s Merlin’s father-figure on the line, so why couldn’t he convince Arthur to help? (In fact, why are Gwen and Merlin just now enlisting Arthur's help? I’m pretty sure I know why. Lazy writing! If Gwen and Merlin had gone to Arthur earlier, then there wouldn’t be a srs bzns Learning Moment of Emotional Connection between Gwen and Arthur now.)
I feel a little gypped that we’ve gotten so little meaningful Arthur-and-Merlin interaction in series 2. I’m not even talking with my Arthur/Merlin tinhat on right now; just from a gen perspective, I miss their friendship. I’m okay with both Merlin and Gwen helping shape Arthur into a better king, but it just seems that the show has dropped a lot of the counsel and intimacy between Arthur and Merlin so it can focus on the developing relationship between Arthur and Gwen.
I’m probably looking too far into this, but that shift just doesn’t sit right with me. I’m still hopeful the writers will bring some of that Arthur/Merlin closeness back, though. Sometime.
*Merlin presents his case against Smuggle in possibly the most adorable fashion ever witnessed in the halls of justice
*The guards search Smuggle’s room while the main characters look on
*A bunch of silver amulets like the one Smuggle planted in Gauis’s sand art bottle spill out of Smuggle’s cabinet
You know what this tells me? That Merlin can create/duplicate silver, and probably other precious metals, either permanently or temporarily-meaning he has unlimited wealth at his disposal, but is a silly little idiot and doesn’t even realize how potentially wealthy he is. #facepalm#
*Smuggle coughs up a frog, thanks to the spell Merlin cast on him earlier. Because the one time the enemy of the week isn’t magical, Merlin’s joke made him look like he was, because Merlin, as we’ve established, is a bit stupid
*Smuggle takes Morgana hostage, and Merlin quietly casts a spell in a room full of magic-hating guards and royals to make the handle of Smuggle’s knife burning-hot so he drops it (because that totally isn’t suspicious at all). I’m beginning to think Merlin was dropped on his head several times as a child
*Smuggle trips and falls out the window to his ignoble death
*Later, Uther and Gauis have a highly-awkward conversation in which Uther tries, in his own stunted way, to apologize for the attempted murder, and Gauis is all, like, “Well, apology not accepted, BITCH,” because he’s still all butthurt about it
*Later still, Gauis and Merlin have dinner and Gauis reveals that he knows Merlin saved his life. They giggle and everything is back to normal-FOR NOW #cue dramatic music#
The promo for next week looks good; I’m cautiously optimistic (I say “cautiously” because the promo for this episode looked awesome too, but the episode itself was sort of lame. Let’s hope next week’s episode is more compelling).
Spoilers for next week’s promo are okay.
Merlin 2x07 Rather Large Episode Reaction/Picspam (The Witchfinder AKA Bad Juju and You: Merlin Works His Sadface) Episode Reaction/Picspam (150 screenshots)
*The episode opens with tired, pretty Merlin gathering firewood in the forest. I am literally incapable of viewing this scene without thinking of Merlin singing songs about being overworked and dreaming about better tomorrows with all his woodland friends, who he’s thoughtfully outfitted in little shoes and scarves
*Merlin is not-so-secretly a 12 year old girl, so, in the absence of a glittery rainbow unicorn diary in which to write his thoughts and dreams and emo love poetry about Arthur’s golden hair and extremely shapely biceps, he does the next best thing and makes a pretty prancing pony out of the smoke from a nearby bonfire
Displayed: an idiot
*Colin Morgan is looking exceptionally lovely in this episode
*And then: buttsex!
Arthur’s found himself an apple-bottomed boy
*But the sodomy was just a cruel tease to keep us watching. What really happens is that some peasant lady saw the smoke and started freaking out and asking Merlin if he saw it too
Smoke? What smoke? I surely didn’t see any prancing pony smoke. You’re high, madam. You’re on crack, or its medieval equivalent!
*The peasant lady runs off and tattles about the smoke pony to Uther
Uther makes his angerface, Arthur slouches against the back of his throne like a big, unimpressed ginger cat and makes it clear he thinks the peasant lady has been smoking some bad juju, and Morgana has a quiet panic attack in the corner and white-knuckles her throne (this is a sensitive issue for her)
Meanwhile, Merlin looks like a sad little pound puppy who has just misbehaved. I can’t help but think that someone’s just smacked him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper and said, “Bad Merlin! Bad!”
*Arthur is all, like, “#le sigh# Well, I guess I’ll go pry Sabrina, the Teenage Witch’s little sister away from her My Little Pony playset and Barbie Dreamhouse and arrest her, then,” and Uther’s, like, “No need. SEND FOR THE WITCHHUNTERFINDER!!!”
*Gauis is furious that Merlin was so conspicuous with his magic
“DAMN IT, MERLIN, YOU NEED TO KEEP THE MAGIC SECRET. THAT’S OUR FRIGGIN’ TAGLINE AND EVERYTHING! I’M SO MAD ABOUT YOU BEING CARELESS AND REVEALING YOUR POWERS THAT I’M GOING TO YELL ABOUT IT IN THIS ROOM THAT ADJOINS A CASTLE STAIRWAY.”
*Meanwhile, I’m pleasantly distracted by Merlin’s face
*“You must hide the book-anything that can connect you to saucery sorcery in any way.”
“What, now?”
*“[The witchfinder] is a force to be reckoned with.”
“But I’m not a witch. Look, no dress or anything. #dorky smile#”
*The witchfinder rolls into town like a straight-up wicked motherfucker
Even his hat drips with malice
*Gwen and Morgana watch the witchfinder’s arrival through Morgana’s window. Gwen wants to know what his cage is for, perhaps forgetting her imprisonment in the S&M bandit king’s dungeon earlier in the season. I forgive her for not making the connection-the witchfinder is no dirty S&M bandit, he’s the kind of precisely sadistic dom you pay $500 an hour for and who won’t give you a safeword
*“Do you smell it?”
#dramatic pause#
“Do you smell what The Rock is cooking it, Uther? It’s all around us, the foul stench of sorcery.”
*Uther is all, like, “HAI, GURL, HAI! ♥___♥” and the Witchfinder is all, like, “STFU, N00B. Hullooo, Arthur, you’re looking quite dreamy today. ^___~”
*The Witchfinder-and it’s getting tedious to keep calling him that, so from now on I’m going to call him “Smuggle,” which is a combination of “Smug” and “Muggle”-explains that magic is very ~*~subtle~*~ (which, dude, you’re here because of a prancing smoke pony, how much more obvious could that be? o_O) and that only he can catch people who use it
*Smuggle meets Merlin and gives off some extremely strong old-man-who-exposes-himself-at-the-park vibes whilst Merlin looks nervous and fey
*He orders Merlin to meet him in his room later. For “questioning.” I silently hope Merlin won’t accept any food or drinks Smuggle may offer him, as Smuggle is giving him some serious creepster looks here
Smuggle hates to watch Merlin go, but he loves to watch him walk away
*Smuggle has decided to live green and is recycling his decorative Halloween skull as a stylish ink-holder of evil
*Merlin is nervous, but he’s wearing the double-locked chastity belt Gauis gave him for Christmas, so he should be okay
*I have trouble paying attention to the plot when Merlin’s bottom lip does things like this to distract me
*Merlin reminds us once again that he’s an atrocious liar. Instead of saying he wasn’t paying attention to the smoke because he was busy picking up the wood that he’d dropped-which the peasant woman would have verified, as that’s what Merlin was doing when she ran up to him-he flounders and says he saw the smoke but didn’t see what the woman had seen in it
*Smuggle gathers up a few bullshit witnesses who say they’ve seen some spooky Hocus Pocus-type shit going on. He then says the sorcerer is in the room
*“THE BOY, MERLIN! #POINTS ACCUSING FINGER#”
*The royal guards search through Gauis and Merlin’s rooms. If by “search” you mean “break a bunch of crap and throw papers in the air like giddy little schoolchildren”
Fuck yeah that’s Arthur voguing in the back
*One of the guards breaks Gauis’s sand art bottle and finds some magic bling inside
I bet Smuggle planted it there; that seems like something he’d do
*Gauis can’t bear thinking of his nubile young boy chained up in those drafty dungeons at Smuggle’s mercy, so he claims the magic bling is his
*Merlin is released from the dungeons and has a nice cry about the guards ripping all the pages out of his Spice Girls Grrl Power! notebook (he’d practiced writing “Mrs. Merlin Pendragon” on those pages for hours, you see). Oh, also he feels a little bad that Gauis is imprisoned, but whatev
I feel a little wrong for finding crying!Merlin so attractive. But only a little
*Uther continues his long tradition of having pleasant dinners with people actively trying to fuck up his kingdom. Smuggle convinces Uther to let him try and get a confession from Gauis
I just can’t take Bradley James seriously when he’s making that face. #giggles# Also, I expected Arthur to have more of a reaction to Smuggle getting permission to torture an old man. Then again, Arthur is probably still upset about Gauis slipping him a roofie those two times
*Smuggle mistreats Gauis in a family-friendly montage of evil
*Merlin angsts
*Merlin asks the Slash Dragon for help
“I did a stupid thing. A stupid, stupid thing. And now Gauis is going to die for it. T___T”
“Gauis means nothing to me.”
LOL! The Slash Dragon is really growing on me this season. I didn’t really care for him in season 1 (his talk about ~*~Destiny~*~ and Arthur and Merlin being ~*~Two Sides of the Same Coin~*~ was funny, but he was remarkably unhelpful when it came to practical advice), but after Merlin and he fought at the end of season 1, the Slash Dragon has been different-more honest, I think, offering his genuine, direct opinion and assistance to Merlin with the frank understanding that his help comes at the price of his eventual freedom.
I think that we’re only now, in season 2, getting to see the Slash Dragon’s real personality-and I think he’s a creature who considers things in terms of ideas. He has an idea of what Albion will be like under King Arthur, and he is working towards that idea. He doesn’t really care about people individually; Arthur and Merlin and Gauis and Morgana and everyone else aren’t important except as a means to an end (and that end is to bring magic back to Camelot and to free the dragon from his captivity).
*SKIP THIS PART IF YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED IN A SLASH DRAGON MINI-METARANT
The more I think about the Slash Dragon’s situation, the worse I feel for him-and the more annoyed I feel by Merlin.
Here’s this centuries-old creature whose entire species was wiped out by some grief-mad, hypocritical king who kept him alive as some sort of sick trophy, chained and lonely in the dark at the bottom of the castle, his only distractions mealtimes and then, later, visits from a self-absorbed, half-grown wizard who the Slash Dragon realized was his best chance at escape.
And then when Merlin found out the Slash Dragon wanted Merlin to free him, Merlin had the audacity to be shocked by that and reject the creature who’d aided him so much, only to come running back to him for help once the next crisis struck? Ugh!
If I were chained up in some claustrophobic underground cave with no one but a needy teenager for company, you’re damn right I’d be trying to get the hell out of there-and Merlin would, too, which he’d realize if he ever stopped to consider things from anyone else’s perspective.
I understand that Merlin is young and doesn’t have the maturity to fully understand or consider the day-to-day reality of the dragon’s captivity, but, goddamn, have a little sympathy, Merlin. The dragon’s got his own shit to deal with-namely, the unrelenting horror of a slow death in the monotony of his jail cell.
*The dragon is all, like, “IDK what to do here, dude,” and Merlin is, like, “O__O --> T__T”
YOU’VE FAILED ME, SENSEI!
*Smuggle threatens Merlin and Morgana to get Gauis to confess. Uther sentences Gauis to death
Arthur is still strangely passive about all this. Also, you’ll notice that Arthur’s looking at Merlin during this scene, not Gauis
*Merlin runs at Smuggle saying, “You’re a liar!” and Arthur gets to Merlin in, like, two seconds (he was watching him, after all) and manhandles him out of the room, umph
Merlin looks like a little baby koala clinging to a tree branch, LMAO
*Arthur drags Merlin all through the castle to the dungeons and gives him what he needs
(Sidenote: In this part Bradley uses this soft, velvety, soothing voice on Merlin that Arthur must use to calm down skittish horses or something-or possibly when seducing people into his bed in the rare times a smile and a toss of his golden head wasn’t enough-and, nngghh, it was so awesome. For a minute there I got really excited thinking that Arthur was going to bust Gauis out of prison for Merlin, but that didn’t end up happening. It’s okay, though, because did you hear that voice of sex??)
*What Merlin needs is to say goodbye to Gauis, of course. I don’t know what you were thinking o_O #judging emotocon is judging#
No, of course there are no guards around Gauis’s cell, it’s not like a sorcerer would be under a close watch or anything
*Merlin and Gauis find out that the magical bling didn’t belong to either of them, and I’m sure important emotional things were said, but I was distracted by this FACE
Also, I’m wondering why Arthur hasn’t left a bite mark on that bit of skin between Merlin’s neckerchief and tunic yet, but I suppose he’s saving that for sometime when Merlin isn’t all weepy about his father-figure being executed and whatnot
*The guards are building a bonfire in the courtyard, and Merlin and Morgana watch mournfully from their respective windows
The resemblance is uncanny. Seriously, slap a wig and some lipstick on Merlin and you’d have some sexually-confused noblemen
*Gwen runs to Merlin and tells him that Smuggle is questioning Morgana again. I’m not sure what she expects Merlin to do about it, though, since for all she knows he’s just an ordinary, non-magical servant
Pretty Gwen is pretty <333
*Merlin deduces that Smuggle had planted the magic bling in his and Gauis’s rooms (HAHA, I WAS RIGHT. Not that that was particularly hard to predict, but I feel accomplished nonetheless. Also, why did it take Merlin several hours between finding out the magical bling wasn’t his or Gauis’s to the time Gwen told him about Smuggle questioning Morgana for him to figure out that the magical bling must have been put there by Smuggle?). He thinks Smuggle’s trying to get Morgana to confess that she's a witch. Merlin runs off to collect some evidence that Smuggle is a fraud
*Merlin snoops in Smuggle’s room
*Suddenly, Merlin hears Smuggle coming
*So he uses magic to make the bed he’d done a half-assed job looking through earlier and hadn’t remade right away because he’s an idiot
(Though a pretty one, and he looks kind of like a vampire here, which is sort of cool)
*Then Merlin hides under the bed. But he left the cabinet door open, just as he did when he was snooping in the villain's room in the last episode. Did I mention Merlin is terrible at this sleuthing thing?
*Merlin finds out the flower petals he'd found locked in the cabinet in Smuggle’s room can be used to cause hallucinations (so all this was caused by some bad juju after all!), and Gwen figures out that Smuggle’s false witnesses must have come into contact with the petals in some kind of cosmetic
Even in moments of crisis, a straight guy would have found the time to have least glanced at Gwen’s exceptionally nice bosoms. Oh, Merlin, you are gayer than Elton John riding into a gay pride parade on a white tiger with a Bedazzled velvet saddle, LOL
This is the guy Smuggle forced to sell the bad juju cosmetics to those girls. How am I supposed to focus on anything when that guy’s hair is making its great escape from his head?
Merlin’s puppyface is a great and terrible weapon. If he ever thought to use it on Arthur, I bet Arthur would totally melt like a slab of butter on a hot griddle. Merlin would be, like, “Hey, Arthur, could you conquer Mercia for me?” and Arthur would be, like, “Are you crazy? Why would I-” “#PUPPYFACE OF DOOM#” “Of course I’ll conquer Mercia for you, my cherished little butterfly. #besotted#”
Luckily for Mercia, Merlin hasn’t thought to try that yet, because he’s usually: A) fighting with Arthur, B) Polishing Arthur’s sword, C) Saving Arthur from death with fortuitously-timed falling tree branches, or D) Getting fucked to within an inch of his life on Arthur’s lavish bed
*Gwen says they still need some more evidence to prove Smuggle is a fraud, so Merlin sneaks back into Smuggle’s room and performs some magic on Smuggle’s locked cabinet and throat, because clearly recklessly sneaking into people’s rooms and doing magic to save the kingdom even though he could be killed if they woke up and saw him is something Merlin isn’t bothered by
*Meanwhile, Gwen waits in Gauis’s rooms and does nothing. The writers have the bad habit of focusing on only one of the main characters and the villain and ignoring everyone else
*Smuggle taunts Gauis in his cell before Gauis’s execution by saying he’ll be going after Merlin and Morgana after all. Smuggle is a cold bitch. It’s a little bit fabulous
*I sort of love it when Smuggle drags Gauis from the cage (Smuggle’s such a drama-queen; Gauis didn’t need to be caged for the short trip across the courtyard) and Arthur tells him, “Easy there! Show some respect.” Plus, even though I don’t think Arthur would have stood idly by all this episode-and more about that in a moment-I do like that, though Uther couldn’t bear to stay and watch an execution he’d ordered, Arthur forced himself to witness it. Arthur was right there in front of the pyre as a show of respect for Gauis, even though he believed Gauis was a sorcerer
*At this point the writers realized, “HOSHIT, only Merlin’s done anything this episode-and Gwen, for those four minutes she was helping Merlin-and we haven’t even added a random Arthur/Gwen moment yet. =o(” So Gwen convinces Arthur to stop Gauis’s execution so Merlin can present evidence against Smuggle to the king
*SKIP THIS PART IF YOU DON’T WANT TO READ A MINI-METARANT ON ARTHUR’S RELATIONSHIPS WITH GWEN AND MERLIN
Alright, so, I’m having problems with this bit of the episode.
First of all, why has Arthur been so strangely passive this whole episode, when usually he doesn’t shirk away from speaking up against an injustice? I mean, last episode he refused his father’s order to tax the peasants again, but now he can’t say, “Um, Daddy, perhaps you shouldn’t burn your BFF in a pyre without examining all the facts first?” without having Gwen there to force him to do it? Arthur Pendragon is not the kind of guy who hears there’s evidence to prove someone innocent and says, “Well, I can’t do anything about it. I guess I’ll just let an innocent man I’ve known all my life get murdered, then,” and has to be coaxed into saving him.
I understand that the writers want us to see that Gwen is making Arthur into a better and more just ruler, but I think they’ve gone about it very clumsily. Arthur’s characterization and importance are extremely inconsistent across the episodes; he regresses and advances and regresses at the whim of the storylines. I know this show is intended to be liked by children, but that shouldn’t mean it’s dumbed down so much that it becomes inaccessible by adults.
I also know this episode is supposed to form a parallel with Uther finding out about Gauis doing magic with Arthur later finding out that Merlin is doing magic, but I think that comparison is an unsound one; Gauis wasn’t actually performing any magic, and that’s what saves him this episode. I think Arthur would save a man he believed was innocent of magic (Gauis) without hesitation-making this scene superfluous-but I think he would feel some initial conflict about saving a man who was magic (Merlin). Finding out about Merlin’s magic will be Arthur’s real test of character.
The other thing bothering me, to a lesser extent, is why it had to be Gwen who convinced Arthur to do what’s right. I know why they did it, of course-they wanted another Arthur/Gwen moment-but, well, IDK. It’s Merlin’s father-figure on the line, so why couldn’t he convince Arthur to help? (In fact, why are Gwen and Merlin just now enlisting Arthur's help? I’m pretty sure I know why. Lazy writing! If Gwen and Merlin had gone to Arthur earlier, then there wouldn’t be a srs bzns Learning Moment of Emotional Connection between Gwen and Arthur now.)
I feel a little gypped that we’ve gotten so little meaningful Arthur-and-Merlin interaction in series 2. I’m not even talking with my Arthur/Merlin tinhat on right now; just from a gen perspective, I miss their friendship. I’m okay with both Merlin and Gwen helping shape Arthur into a better king, but it just seems that the show has dropped a lot of the counsel and intimacy between Arthur and Merlin so it can focus on the developing relationship between Arthur and Gwen.
I’m probably looking too far into this, but that shift just doesn’t sit right with me. I’m still hopeful the writers will bring some of that Arthur/Merlin closeness back, though. Sometime.
*Merlin presents his case against Smuggle in possibly the most adorable fashion ever witnessed in the halls of justice
*The guards search Smuggle’s room while the main characters look on
*A bunch of silver amulets like the one Smuggle planted in Gauis’s sand art bottle spill out of Smuggle’s cabinet
You know what this tells me? That Merlin can create/duplicate silver, and probably other precious metals, either permanently or temporarily-meaning he has unlimited wealth at his disposal, but is a silly little idiot and doesn’t even realize how potentially wealthy he is. #facepalm#
*Smuggle coughs up a frog, thanks to the spell Merlin cast on him earlier. Because the one time the enemy of the week isn’t magical, Merlin’s joke made him look like he was, because Merlin, as we’ve established, is a bit stupid
*Smuggle takes Morgana hostage, and Merlin quietly casts a spell in a room full of magic-hating guards and royals to make the handle of Smuggle’s knife burning-hot so he drops it (because that totally isn’t suspicious at all). I’m beginning to think Merlin was dropped on his head several times as a child
*Smuggle trips and falls out the window to his ignoble death
*Later, Uther and Gauis have a highly-awkward conversation in which Uther tries, in his own stunted way, to apologize for the attempted murder, and Gauis is all, like, “Well, apology not accepted, BITCH,” because he’s still all butthurt about it
*Later still, Gauis and Merlin have dinner and Gauis reveals that he knows Merlin saved his life. They giggle and everything is back to normal-FOR NOW #cue dramatic music#
The promo for next week looks good; I’m cautiously optimistic (I say “cautiously” because the promo for this episode looked awesome too, but the episode itself was sort of lame. Let’s hope next week’s episode is more compelling).
Spoilers for next week’s promo are okay.