(no subject)
Today could definitely be the worst Valentine's day ever. I am so confused about everything, including myself. I don't know whether I want Kris to come to Cuba and he doesn't know if he should come either. This is supposed to be the day that make jokes about it being a Hallmark holiday and snub it together, but instead I don't know where he is and it just kills me to think he is spending the day with someone else. It could be any day. I never thought I would miss him this much I just don't understand what is going on with me. There are plenty of times over the course of our relationship that I questioned us being together and thought that my life would not change much without him in it. But now it has and I hate every single day. I hate being so pathetic and insecure but I just don't seem to have control over it. Everyone tells me that I cannot control him, but only myself. But I feel literally out of control.