Hot and Cold
So I took a walk today because it was so nice out in downtown Wickford. So nice. And I love stores down there like Midnight Sun and Greatful Heart. I mean, I used to go down to Wickford Village in high school (usually when i should have been in school. oops) and just write and draw. Sometimes I would go down there at night (again, that stupid habit of walking around by myself at night....ha!) and just look at the water and think and figure out my shit.
I haven't been there in almost two years just to hang out by myself and chill.
The second I walked into Greatful Heart, I just was so happy. I love that place. Same with Midnight Sun, I just feel so good being in those places. Lots of good energy there.
Which apparently I need. Cause my aura is stressed on out. For a variety of reasons, and I haven't been able to get to yoga or just be still long enough to get a grip and destress. Unfortunately, when I'm stressed, everyone knows it.
So I'm making a commitment this summer to really just work on my practice in yoga. Its been a goal of mine since I was a kid to be an instructor.
I love Wickford, and I like talking to people (again, bad habit...I talk to strangers all the time). My ex used to freak out "they're gonna find you dead someday...you are too naive."
I would like to think I have enough street smarts to know when people are weird, I usually just go on intution, and theres been plenty of times where I have talked to someone and my gut has advised me to wrap it up and move along.
I've also noticed, as I was sitting at the marina, watching the sailboats, is that I'm awfully abrupt to people, which I truly don't mean to be. I think I'm so guarded (to a fault, which I need to take a look at) that when someone tries to reach out to me, I kind step back and think "what does this person want from me?"
I have no idea how I became so cynical.
Don't get me wrong, many a person has surpassed my "what do you want from me?" phase to become great friends...but there are some who I can't figure out. And I hate that.
Oh, and I just hate the phone too.
Andy R.N. pointed that out. I'm always in a rush to get off the phone. I prefer face to face I don't know why. Just who I am. I just feel uncomfortable talking to someone on the phone unless they are millions of miles away. Just a quirk.
Also tonight I went for a walk with my best friend, Amy. This girl is my other half, and has been for almost 10 years. We were wakling around the old neighborhood (when I lived with my aunt in high school we were neighbors and bacame best friends. My aunt lives in Cowesett, and the houses are phenomenal.)
So we walked around at midnight like we did in high school and picked out our favorite houses and planned how we would live next door to each other when we grew up like we used to when we were 14. Of course the houses we picked were million dollar ones with three car garages and wrap around porches and three floors.
But then we came to the realization that we are "grown up", which I think made both of us throw up in our mouths a little. Cause while I have this strong desire to wander the world...I have an equally strong desire to buy myself a little house, get a four wheel drive vehicle, a puppy and settle down and have something thats my own. When I was young (which all of you know) I was bounced around a lot between houses and family members. While I've always been in RI, I just want something consistant to come home to, cause I've never had that. Then again, it scares the shit out of me, and I like the option of getting up and moving on when things don't go my way. Its truly 50/50, and I'm quite conflicted.
Whatever. I think if I get the job in RI it may determine how I end up. Which surprisingly, I don't care. As long as it feels right...its all good.
Happy Easter kids!
I haven't been there in almost two years just to hang out by myself and chill.
The second I walked into Greatful Heart, I just was so happy. I love that place. Same with Midnight Sun, I just feel so good being in those places. Lots of good energy there.
Which apparently I need. Cause my aura is stressed on out. For a variety of reasons, and I haven't been able to get to yoga or just be still long enough to get a grip and destress. Unfortunately, when I'm stressed, everyone knows it.
So I'm making a commitment this summer to really just work on my practice in yoga. Its been a goal of mine since I was a kid to be an instructor.
I love Wickford, and I like talking to people (again, bad habit...I talk to strangers all the time). My ex used to freak out "they're gonna find you dead someday...you are too naive."
I would like to think I have enough street smarts to know when people are weird, I usually just go on intution, and theres been plenty of times where I have talked to someone and my gut has advised me to wrap it up and move along.
I've also noticed, as I was sitting at the marina, watching the sailboats, is that I'm awfully abrupt to people, which I truly don't mean to be. I think I'm so guarded (to a fault, which I need to take a look at) that when someone tries to reach out to me, I kind step back and think "what does this person want from me?"
I have no idea how I became so cynical.
Don't get me wrong, many a person has surpassed my "what do you want from me?" phase to become great friends...but there are some who I can't figure out. And I hate that.
Oh, and I just hate the phone too.
Andy R.N. pointed that out. I'm always in a rush to get off the phone. I prefer face to face I don't know why. Just who I am. I just feel uncomfortable talking to someone on the phone unless they are millions of miles away. Just a quirk.
Also tonight I went for a walk with my best friend, Amy. This girl is my other half, and has been for almost 10 years. We were wakling around the old neighborhood (when I lived with my aunt in high school we were neighbors and bacame best friends. My aunt lives in Cowesett, and the houses are phenomenal.)
So we walked around at midnight like we did in high school and picked out our favorite houses and planned how we would live next door to each other when we grew up like we used to when we were 14. Of course the houses we picked were million dollar ones with three car garages and wrap around porches and three floors.
But then we came to the realization that we are "grown up", which I think made both of us throw up in our mouths a little. Cause while I have this strong desire to wander the world...I have an equally strong desire to buy myself a little house, get a four wheel drive vehicle, a puppy and settle down and have something thats my own. When I was young (which all of you know) I was bounced around a lot between houses and family members. While I've always been in RI, I just want something consistant to come home to, cause I've never had that. Then again, it scares the shit out of me, and I like the option of getting up and moving on when things don't go my way. Its truly 50/50, and I'm quite conflicted.
Whatever. I think if I get the job in RI it may determine how I end up. Which surprisingly, I don't care. As long as it feels right...its all good.
Happy Easter kids!