[EM] 15 - Faced Death
[WITSEC clearance required]
To be honest I've probably not literally faced death, it comes for me a lot though. I've never actually gotten that moment when I realized that this could be it, that the person staring me down could very well end my life.
Even on the job all those years, there had been close calls, but nothing that I would have qualified as staring death in the face. Close calls are part of the job and living through them is just what you do.
Death has my name though, I know it because I seem to always end up near death regardless of me seeing it coming or not. I'd love to say that it's not fair, that fate or destiny should take the time to find someone else, but I know that isn't how it works. I probably know better than anyone else, that destiny and fate no matter how much you don't want to believe in them, actually bears weight on a person.
I probably should have died when I was little. Born in a prison, taken from my mother and hurried off to protection, because there were people that thought I was better off with them... or with no one. Raised in an orphanage by a woman I thought I could trust. Running to the streets to just get away from it all, I could have been killed by any number of things then. Upset clerk behind a counter, or an off duty officer that could have taken the law into his own hands.
I think I was fearless back then. I had some dream that my father had wanted to protect me, that he had given me up so that I would be safer... so that one day I could come to him and see how amazing it was that he had made such a sacrifice for me. I knew that one day I'd meet him again, I just had to survive.
So I did. I survived Roberto, and his training, the lies and the betrayal. I survived the women's prison, laying there just trying to keep myself alive long enough to see it through to the end. Lying there for years, just waiting for the right thing. Sydney came for me, and maybe for that one moment I thought that maybe that was going to be the end for me, but I could hear it in her voice, that she meant what she was saying.
I survived all of that, and it still wasn't over. Put up against family again I was infected and shot in the back by my own father before I killed my sister. See I never do actually face death... it just comes for me.
They tried to cure me, but instead I lay there in a chemical induced coma, just waiting to be woken up. When I did wake up it was brief, and taken away from me quickly. Back into the darkness I slipped, and I waited again for that light to come find me.
I've read the medical papers, I know he killed me. I know I died on that hospital bed, that for those moments I didn't just face death I died. But I didn't let the light take me in, instead I fought because I wasn't ready to die yet. When I woke I thought that maybe it was all over.
I had a few days when everything was normal, when I thought that maybe this was going to be it. I was wrong.
I still wish I knew how the girl was... before she was me. She died in my place, took that fall for someone else. I haven't stared death in the face, I'm not looking to either, but sometimes I just want to know what it feels like to know that this is the end.
Sometimes I just want it to have an end.
[/WITSEC]
To be honest I've probably not literally faced death, it comes for me a lot though. I've never actually gotten that moment when I realized that this could be it, that the person staring me down could very well end my life.
Even on the job all those years, there had been close calls, but nothing that I would have qualified as staring death in the face. Close calls are part of the job and living through them is just what you do.
Death has my name though, I know it because I seem to always end up near death regardless of me seeing it coming or not. I'd love to say that it's not fair, that fate or destiny should take the time to find someone else, but I know that isn't how it works. I probably know better than anyone else, that destiny and fate no matter how much you don't want to believe in them, actually bears weight on a person.
I probably should have died when I was little. Born in a prison, taken from my mother and hurried off to protection, because there were people that thought I was better off with them... or with no one. Raised in an orphanage by a woman I thought I could trust. Running to the streets to just get away from it all, I could have been killed by any number of things then. Upset clerk behind a counter, or an off duty officer that could have taken the law into his own hands.
I think I was fearless back then. I had some dream that my father had wanted to protect me, that he had given me up so that I would be safer... so that one day I could come to him and see how amazing it was that he had made such a sacrifice for me. I knew that one day I'd meet him again, I just had to survive.
So I did. I survived Roberto, and his training, the lies and the betrayal. I survived the women's prison, laying there just trying to keep myself alive long enough to see it through to the end. Lying there for years, just waiting for the right thing. Sydney came for me, and maybe for that one moment I thought that maybe that was going to be the end for me, but I could hear it in her voice, that she meant what she was saying.
I survived all of that, and it still wasn't over. Put up against family again I was infected and shot in the back by my own father before I killed my sister. See I never do actually face death... it just comes for me.
They tried to cure me, but instead I lay there in a chemical induced coma, just waiting to be woken up. When I did wake up it was brief, and taken away from me quickly. Back into the darkness I slipped, and I waited again for that light to come find me.
I've read the medical papers, I know he killed me. I know I died on that hospital bed, that for those moments I didn't just face death I died. But I didn't let the light take me in, instead I fought because I wasn't ready to die yet. When I woke I thought that maybe it was all over.
I had a few days when everything was normal, when I thought that maybe this was going to be it. I was wrong.
I still wish I knew how the girl was... before she was me. She died in my place, took that fall for someone else. I haven't stared death in the face, I'm not looking to either, but sometimes I just want to know what it feels like to know that this is the end.
Sometimes I just want it to have an end.
[/WITSEC]