10 Things You Supposedly Can't Do Whilst in a Relationship
One of my friends posted a status on a Facebook earlier about things you can't do whilst in relationship. I know it was intended to make single people feel better about being single, and I'm not trying to trying to make them feel bad by what I'm about to say next, but I need to point out how ridiculously stupid some of these things were.
- You can't go travelling the world
Maybe it's just me on this one, but I wouldn't want to go travelling on my own anyway. I personally can't wait for my other half and I to get the chance to explore the world together! Yes, I realise that some things may hold us back from doing so, such as not having time off from work at the same time, but guess what? There are ways around this! If you're patient, you can plan your holiday at a time when you've both got time off, or if you're impatient and have earned the right to do this, you can both apply for time off. SIMPLE.
Or, if your problem is that you can't agree on where you want to go, there's such a thing as taking separate holidays. But if it's too much to bare being away from your partner, then I think you must love each other enough to come up with a compromise.
- You can't take up the whole bed
I guess this one is personal preference really. For me, I don't have enough room in my single bed to spread out anyway. When my other half comes to stay, we set up a makeshift double bed on the floor with two single mattresses side-by-side, so I actually end up with more room once he's here. But even then, I don't spread out too much. My other half and I both prefer to curl up rather than spread out, so we both have our own space.
However, if not being able to spread out in bed is enough to put you off from having a relationship, then maybe it's time to look at yourself and re-evaluate things.
- You can't be spontaneous with social arrangements
The example they gave for this one was unbelievably stupid. They said, "Imagine your friends call you up after work for a drink, but you've already promised your partner you'd be home for dinner".
The problem here isn't that you're in a relationship. The problem here is that you've already promised to do something, but now you want to do something else. This could apply to friendships too! You wouldn't promise a mate you'd see them and then suddenly decide to ditch them, would you?
In order to get around this, you plan ahead (whether it's a romantic relationship or otherwise) and you split your time evenly. I go with the rule that whatever I had arranged to do first, I go to. Or alternatively, you could bring your partner along with you to see your mates.
- You can't hangout with whoever you want to
If your partner is THIS controlling, then maybe you shouldn't be with that person. Though if they're stopping you from hanging out with druggies or prostitutes, you're the one in the wrong here.
- You can't work the room at a party
Personally, I never used to 'work the room' at parties anyway. In fact, I rarely went to parties at all! However, I've been to a few in recent years accompanied by my other half, and I've never found it hard to socialise just because I felt I had to stick by his side. This is the benefit of introducing your partner into your social group. If I wanted to, I could go off and socialise with other people because I know he'd be okay if I left him with the others.
But if your partner isn't in your social group, then maybe you should go to the party without them. Or if you really can't bare to be without them, bring them and accept that you'll have to be 'working the room' as a duo. See it as a way to bring them into your social group.
- You can't "have fun" with guys and girls
By all means, if this is what you like to do, then don't bother looking for a relationship. But don't complain about being single, because clearly, you don't mind it.
- You can't be selfish
Well, duh. You shouldn't be selfish even if you're single.
That being said though, the example for this one said you can't treat yourself from time to time, and I don't agree with that. Though it depends on what you mean by treat yourself, I find that I don't have a problem here. If I fancy a new book, I'll get one providing I have the money and don't need to reserve that money for anything else. It's all about being responsible with your money, because even when you aren't in a relationship, there are expenses you need to think ahead for.
- You can't indulge in weird habits
This one also had a stupid example. It spoke about a girl who felt she couldn't dance around in front of the mirror any more because she felt silly. Now, it didn't actually say how her partner reacted to this, but let's presume for the sake of argument that he made her stop doing it. If this were the case, then would you really want to be with someone like that? You should find someone who accepts all of you, even your weird habits!
For me, my weird habits are my nerd obsessions. I read manga, watch anime and Sci-Fi, collect figurines, and attend conventions. Fortunately for me, I actually met my other half at a convention, so we share the same interests. But if I were in a relationship with someone who didn't like that side of me, I wouldn't waste my time with them.
- You can't wear comfy underwear
Who says you HAVE to wear thongs and other various lingerie? I thought most people only wore that when they were 'getting in the mood' anyway, if you catch my drift. If that person truly loved you, they'd love you no matter what you were wearing and they'd still find you sexy. Lingerie is overrated.
- You can't watch your favourite TV programs
For this one, they gave the example that sometimes what you want to watch would conflict time-wise with what your partner wanted to watch. For this, I will state a few facts. One, most houses have more than one TV now. Two, there's such a thing as recording. Three, you shouldn't let TV come between you.
Again, I'm in the fortunate situation where I have similar tastes to my other half anyway, but if we were ever to end up in a situation like this, we'd come to a compromise. One week, we'd watch his show whilst recording mine, and the next, we'd watch mine whilst recording his.
So to sum up, there's nothing wrong with being single, but I'm sick and tired of people acting like a relationship restrains you. If it does, then you're with the wrong person! For me, I still do all the same things I used to. The only difference is that now I have someone to share it all with.