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How would one be likely to respond to the following scenario: You realize someone you've known for years as a friend has a crush on you.
Part of what lets me get along with others as well as I do is that I spend a lot of time observing and thinking about how people react to things in their life. A corollary of this is that I spend time thinking ( Read more... )
Part of what lets me get along with others as well as I do is that I spend a lot of time observing and thinking about how people react to things in their life. A corollary of this is that I spend time thinking ( Read more... )
The scenario I started this post with is one I find myself on the wrong side of. I'm the one with the crush.
Darren! This is...It's just so sudden!
[And also:]
(Don't worry, it isn't one of you kind folks.)
...
...
...oh.
well.
hrm.
Anyway, in all seriousness, nobody here on the interwebs knows this woman, much less knowing how she feels about you. None of us can hazard a guess as to her reaction. Maybe she'll let you down gently out of consideration for your friendship. Maybe she'll glomp on and start dry-humping. Maybe she'll recoil in horror and run screaming out the door. I have no idea. (Fingers crossed for #2, though.)
I say ask her out again. Worst that can happen is that she says no. If nothing else, if she still has something else going on this time as well, you'll reaffirm your interest and be able to kick the can down the road, until it's time to ask her out again.
If you want a bigger, deeper thing than that, arrange a private meeting with her. Coffee or somesuch. Make chit-chat and then break it to her when the conversation luls. Then you'll get whatever reaction you'll get.
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Also, the range of possible reactions is something I can easily work out. What I have a harder time with is determining what a 'normal' response would be. That you didn't respond with, "Oh god no, that would be creepy." fairly solidly sets the bounds on what you expect, even though you didn't phrase your answer in that manner.
A counter-example is something like: several years ago a married female friend suggested a good place to meet women was at the grocery store. Every one else in the conversation had a strong reaction that such behavior would be more likely to result in pepper-spray than a date. It turned out that she grew up in something of a small town, while the others were more big-city folk. She'd been married/serious for years and so her intuitions regarding the grocery store were somewhat out of sync with ours.
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