(no subject)
How would one be likely to respond to the following scenario: You realize someone you've known for years as a friend has a crush on you.
Part of what lets me get along with others as well as I do is that I spend a lot of time observing and thinking about how people react to things in their life. A corollary of this is that I spend time thinking through alternate scenarios surrounding my own real life. This process keeps me from being surprised by those I interact with (sometimes) and lets me think through how I might respond to events I encounter. I tend to think of outlandish scenarios, as well as mundane, in doing so covering the range of what might happen. Over the years I've gotten pretty good at estimating likelihoods to the mental scenarios I concoct, but as well I estimate when I don't know enough to differentiate between multiple models.
The scenario I started this post with is one I find myself on the wrong side of. I'm the one with the crush. I've tried asking her out a few times, she had other things going on (pretty solidly sure not just blow-offs). When we encounter each other at a common outing, we invariably spend extended time together talking. I've been trying to work up the nerve to be more blunt in my expression of interest in her. I have no idea how she will respond (rather, I have no way to estimate likelihood across multiple disparate models) and it is terrifying.
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So, how does one respond to gaining such new knowledge? (Don't worry, it isn't one of you kind folks.) I do know she is single and might rather not be. Fortunately for me we're not "best buds" or really close friends, so there isn't that sort of inertia to work with.
Blunt appraisals/experiences are more useful to me than kind platitudes.
Part of what lets me get along with others as well as I do is that I spend a lot of time observing and thinking about how people react to things in their life. A corollary of this is that I spend time thinking through alternate scenarios surrounding my own real life. This process keeps me from being surprised by those I interact with (sometimes) and lets me think through how I might respond to events I encounter. I tend to think of outlandish scenarios, as well as mundane, in doing so covering the range of what might happen. Over the years I've gotten pretty good at estimating likelihoods to the mental scenarios I concoct, but as well I estimate when I don't know enough to differentiate between multiple models.
The scenario I started this post with is one I find myself on the wrong side of. I'm the one with the crush. I've tried asking her out a few times, she had other things going on (pretty solidly sure not just blow-offs). When we encounter each other at a common outing, we invariably spend extended time together talking. I've been trying to work up the nerve to be more blunt in my expression of interest in her. I have no idea how she will respond (rather, I have no way to estimate likelihood across multiple disparate models) and it is terrifying.
--
So, how does one respond to gaining such new knowledge? (Don't worry, it isn't one of you kind folks.) I do know she is single and might rather not be. Fortunately for me we're not "best buds" or really close friends, so there isn't that sort of inertia to work with.
Blunt appraisals/experiences are more useful to me than kind platitudes.