[ikon: jinhwan/junhwe] let sparks fly (and dreams launch) (2/2)

[idyleski]

part one | part two

they don't end up winning.

jinhwan is standing on the stage in between hanbin and yunhyeong when the results are announced, and his chest feels like it's so tight it's about to burst. his mind feels blank and numb as he walks over to team a- winner now that they've won, he supposes- to congratulate them.

his heart is pounding and he dimly registers the loud roar of the stadium. hanbin touches his wrist and jinhwan blinks. his eyeliner is starting to smear and sweat is mixing in with tears forming at the corner of his eyes. he opens his mouth to say something, anything, but the words are stuck in his throat. someone from the other team, he can't tell who it is exactly, pulls him into a hug and jinhwan automatically wraps his arms around them and blinks back the tears in his eyes.

he makes eye contact with bobby, who, very predictably, is a crying mess. tears won't stop flowing out of his eyes. he grins, showcasing his two front teeth, even as his body continues to shake.

"hyung," junhwe whispers to him as he reaches out to place a hand on his shoulder as they pass each other on stage. jinhwan gives a small shake of his head, moving out of the crowd to stand to the side of the stage.

the younger ends up lingering near him for the rest of the duration they're on stage. the corners of jinhwan's vision blur around him; he's no longer sure whose arms are around him. apologies and encouragements continue to blur into one, as do the voices and people around him.

not trusting himself to speak, jinhwan walks continuously from team a to his sunbaes. when yg-sajangnim comes to speak to them, he's standing between hanbin and bobby. their shoulders brush against his, and he swallows the ever-forming lump in his throat as he blinks back even more tears.

by the time they go back to the dorm, everyone is exhausted. no one says a word as bobby moves robotically into the bathroom first. the roar of the shower is heard within a few minutes and jinhwan closes his eyes and leans against hanbin's shoulder. for once, the two of them don't join bobby in the shower, and for once, no says anything when he takes longer than the usual ten minutes.

across from him, donghyuk's eyes are completely swollen and red and he continues to rub them, wordlessly. junhwe says nothing as he stares sullenly at the legs of the table, knees folded into his chest, a position that would ordinarily cause him discomfort. yunhyeong looks weary as well- jinhwan can see the tear stains on his cheeks.

the roaring finally stops, and bobby nudges him. jinhwan blinks at him, then opens his mouth to protest. "you first, hyung," hanbin murmurs as he nudges him until he's forced to stand up. jinhwan narrows his eyes; part of him wants to go back to the pleasant warmth, but the other part wants nothing more than to stand under scalding hot water.

he bumps into bobby on the way out, who gives him a sheepish smile and runs his hand through his hair, scattering water everywhere on the floor. jinhwan sighs and steps up to rub his hair affectionately. without any of the makeup bobby looks worse for wear. for a brief moment, bobby's smile falters, but then it's plastered back on as soon as it disappears and he goes to the living room.

once he finishes taking a shower and he's gotten junhwe into his room, and bobby is with donghyuk and yunhyeong for the time being, jinhwan goes into his room and lies on the bed. he grabs the nearest pillow and tucks it under his chin as he peers at the bottom of the bunk bed on top of him.

the door cracks open and a small sliver of light filters in. jinhwan squints at the doorway, he can make out the tall outline of junhwe peering inside, holding a blanket to his chest. it's the one that jinhwan gave to him a couple months after he joined their team. when junhwe was shorter and more awkward than now (the kind of endearing only a fifteen year old can be).

"hyung?" junhwe asks hesitantly, pausing in the doorway. his voice sounds small and jinhwan's chest feels so heavy and he can feel the pressure building behind his forehead and knows he'll have an excruciating headache tomorrow.

"not now, junhwe," he murmurs quietly and tries to ignore the brief flash of hurt and surprise on junhwe's face. he pulls the covers up over his head and junhwe shuts the door so softly he almost doesn't register it closing.

bobby's the first to crawl into his bed, hanbin following shortly after. hanbin is wedged between the two of them, bobby's arm thrown across both their bodies. jinhwan presses his nose into the nape of hanbin's neck, his hair still wet.

"we'll win next time," bobby whispers in the darkness, and jinhwan tightens his free hand in the bed sheets. “they won't break us up. not the three of us, not any of us."

surprisingly, after the loss of win, nothing big happens. nothing big in the sense that yg-sajangnim doesn't immediately split them up. jinhwan has a nagging feeling that something isn't quite right, but he doesn't voice anything, especially when the others look to him for advice. (despite his refusal to acknowledge it, the nagging feeling only grows in the bottom of his stomach).

they practice, just like they have before and during win, and it isn't so different, really. except maybe the fact that they've lost and there's more than a tinge of desperation to their daily practice sessions.

it's exhausting, seeing how the other five trainees are preparing to debut while they don't know if they ever will. he can see the huge toll it takes on hanbin, the way his teeth grind against each other during rougher days and his jaw sets squarely as he observes them with a borderline cold expression. his critique takes on a bitter, biting edge and more than once, jinhwan can tell he's close to snapping.

bobby bumps his shoulder into hanbin while the three of them sit next to each other (in the studio, it's always in the studio).

"you almost exploded today," he says casually, as if he were talking about changing the beats to their song, "you need to chill."

"blergh," hanbin mumbles as he faceplants into jinhwan's shoulder. jinhwan pats his shoulder comfortingly.

"just be a bit easier on them," jinhwan tells him. hanbin frowns. "or at least a bit nicer?" he offers instead.

bobby snorts, "yeah, donghyuk looked like he was about to cry today and you didn't even yell at him."

"don't be mean," jinhwan reprimands him and angles himself so he can get a clear shot at bobby's shins. he only feels a little smug when bobby's eyes start watering. "everyone knows that you're working hard."

"guh," hanbin replies eloquently.

the news for a new survival show comes, as most things do in yg, unexpectedly and unannounced. jinhwan thinks that yg-sajangnim might have a bit too much of a thing for survival shows.

he's sitting on junhwe's bed, watching the younger sulk in silence as he stares at the wall. jinhwan can tell that he's stewing on the inside. it's almost like the way hanbin will brood when something hasn't reached his perfectionist standards, but in a different, cuter sort of way.

junhwe frowns at wall across from him and jinhwan can only imagine the amount of frustration he feels being forced to compete for a position that should already be his. (if there’s something jinhwan’s learned about junhwe from his year at yg so far it’s that he struggles with proving that he is worthy enough to be in the group, that he’s good enough. privately, jinhwan thinks he’s more than good enough).

sighing to himself, jinhwan gets up and runs a hand down his cow pajama pants. junhwe looks up at him as he lingers in the doorway. “come on,” he tells the younger boy, “staring at the wall at the wall and brooding isn’t going to help.”

junhwe cheeks turn red and jinhwan graciously decides not to comment.

the two of them are in the park and it’s two in the morning and not for the first time, jinhwan thinks that if he keeps this up he’s going to lose the title of being the only responsible person (and a half) with a decent amount of common sense.

“it’s cold,” he remarks as he shivers, rapidly running his hands up and down his arms in an attempt to warm himself. he’s changed into bobby’s old sweats, from when he was fourteen, that he needs to roll up more than several times and one of hanbin’s hoodies that’s been worn so much it’s turned soft. unfortunately, he hadn’t expected it to be this cold.

“do you want my jacket?” junhwe asks and he’s already shrugged his jacket off so that it’s halfway off his shoulder. before jinhwan can even open his mouth to protest, junhwe’s jacket is already slung over him.

“thanks,” he murmurs as he zips it up. junhwe’s jacket is even larger on him than hanbin and bobby’s clothes usually are- his hands are completely covered by the sleeves and the jacket extends to the middle of his thighs. however, he is significantly warmer and the small breezes no longer bothers him.

“careful hyung, i- we- the rest of the team i mean, don’t want you getting sick right when the show starts,” junhwe says bashfully.

“i’m not dthat delicate, junhwe,” jinhwan lets out a small laugh, smiling at him. “shouldn’t you keep your jacket on then? i don’t want you getting sick either.”

scratching the back of his head, junhwe mumbles, “i don’t get sick easily.”

jinhwan hums in response and begins walking down the street. there’s no one outside except for the two of them on the dimly lit street, and if jinhwan strains his eyes hard enough he can make out the stars. it’s nothing like the night sky back home on jeju island, but it’s still a pretty sight nonetheless.

“can we get ramyun?” junhwe questions, turning around to look at him. jinhwan pauses and their arms brush against one another. “i’m hungry,” he elaborates, sheepishly.

they end up buying two bowls of ramen with jinhwan fumbling for change (how is he supposed to anticipate the voracious hunger cravings of a gigantic, ever-growing sixteen year old?) and junhwe standing awkwardly by his side, rocking back and forth on his feet.

seated on a bench in the park, jinhwan blows on the steaming bowl and relishes the pleasant warmth it brings when he starts eating. so much for that new diet plan.

“i used to bring my dogs to the park every day,” he tells junhwe once he’s finished his bowl at an embarrassingly quick speed. “i haven’t seen them for a while.”

“oh,” junhwe responds, looking down at his hands. he frowns.

“i suppose i’ll see them after we debut, though,” jinhwan says.

“i want to debut,” junhwe tells him. his voice isn’t bitter, just matter-of-fact. “i want to debut more than anything else.”

jinhwan bites down on his lip and doesn’t say how desperately he wants to debut as well (with the other five, because at this point being with anyone else would just feel wrong).

he finds himself slowly leaning in towards junhwe and it’s either the way the stars and night sky frame his face and emphasizes his features, or the lack of clear judgment that he’s had the entire night (or in general because most of the time it seems to disappear whenever junhwe is nearby).

catching himself, jinhwan pulls back sharply. “we should go back,” he says, standing up. “it’s late.”

junhwe says nothing, just gets up to follow him wordlessly. the entire walk back their arms brush against one another and despite the cold and all the layers he’s wearing, each touch is searing.

as one who’s lost one survival show before, losing is somewhat of a familiar thing to jinhwan. but, even the familiarity doesn’t stop the devastating feeling when jinhwan’s team comes in last during the second mission.

it’s only made worse when junhwe, yunhyeong, and jinhyeong are put up for elimination. junhwe goes up, jaw squared and eyes dark as he looks at the judges. jinhwan waits on stage by himself, for what’s probably the most agonizing fifteen minutes of his life.

he breathes a small sigh of relief when junhwe isn’t eliminated, but the feeling is transient when yunhyeong and jinhyeong are both eliminated.

there’s an overwhelming feeling of nausea and jinhwan’s always been a bit of a crier, but this time the tears flow out faster than normal. hanbin stands by his side as they walk outside and jinhwan can feel how hard he’s trying to hold back his tears.

he watches as junhwe and yunhyeong cry together, donghyuk soon joining them as he continues sobbing. his chest feels overwhelmingly tight, like it’s about to burst and he doesn’t notice that he’s started hiccupping until hanbin starts rubbing his back.

they all end up as a complete, sniveling mess, jinhwan unable to stop his tears and snot from running as he cries with donghyuk and wipes his face. he can’t bring himself to look at yunhyeong and jinhyeong, not when it’s his ineptitude as a leader that led them both to elimination (even if it was a pseudo-elimination, there’s nothing scarier than their entire team being split apart and completely remade).

he ends up walking back to the warehouse with junhwe, placing a hand on his on his back as it shakes. the younger boy has his head lowered and hands curled into fists. “it’s not fair,” he whispers to jinhwan, voice choking.

when they get back to the dorms, jinhwan is still sniffling as he walks to his room. hanbin and bobby stand outside of the door and bobby pulls jinhwan into a hug.

“not now,” he mumbles into bobby’s chest. jinhwan’s eyes begin to prickle and the tears begin to flow out once again.

“sorry,” bobby murmurs into his hair and then releases him. jinhwan says nothing, lowering his head as bobby brushes away his tears. he doesn’t look either him or hanbin in the eye as he trudges into his room. no one follows him and jinhwan breathes a sigh of relief as he shuts the door.

once he strips to his pajamas and climbs underneath his covers he feels nothing but a hollowness inside of his chest. jinhwan stares at the small sliver of light coming from underneath the door, and shakily breathes in and out.

his entire body is still numb when the door swings open a while later to reveal junhwe.

“not now, junhwe,” he croaks as he rolls over to face the wall, pulling his blanket up to his chin.

the door is shut with a soft click but then the mattress dips down as his blanket is peeled back. he turns around to find himself with a little bit more than two inches between his and junhwe’s face.

jinhwan gets ready and opens his mouth, “i said not now-”

“i think you’re lonely, hyung,” junhwe mumbles so quietly jinhwan almost doesn’t catch it.

“what?” jinhwan asks, a little bit more sharply than he intends to.

“you always try to handle everything by yourself, but then you always forget that we’re here too,” junhwe says.

“you’re making it sound as though i’m hanbin,” he scoffs. hanbin’s emotional ineptitude can be spotted from a mile away.

“someone told me that you aren’t supposed to keep all your feelings to yourself,” junhwe tells him and jinhwan looks away, finding the gaze in junhwe’s eyes just a bit too intense.

the irony of being lectured on repressing feelings by the only person in the band who could tie with hanbin in repressing them. “who told you that? donghyuk?” jinhwan asks.

“maybe,” junhwe scratches the back of his neck with his hand, embarrassed. “yeah, it was donghyuk.”

“thought so,” jinhwan’s lips turn up slightly. “if you’re going to sleep here tonight then don’t sleep like that, you’re going to be uncomfortable.”

it’s a shame that they’re both shrouded by darkness, because even without any light he can tell that junhwe flushes. jinhwan shifts so his head is near junhwe’s chest and wraps an arm around his waist to bring him even closer. he can feel the hesitation as junhwe slowly wraps his arm around him in return.

“if it’s any consolation, hyung,” junhwe says as jinhwan’s eyelids begin to slowly droop, “i thought your song was the best.”

jinhwan curls himself in closer to junhwe. “if it’s any consolation,” he mimics, “i would have chosen you, not chanwoo.”

“i don’t get how anyone in their right mind would choose chanwoo over me,” junhwe grumbles, “i’m way more likeable.” jinhwan smiles into junhwe’s chest.

jinhwan valiantly ignores all of hanbin and bobby’s attempts to talk to him about that night. he refuses to budge no matter how hard they pry, to the point where hanbin gives up. this is one of the few things he refuses to talk to them about. (he carefully files it away to the corner of his mind where similar memories are stored).

nothing much changes between him and junhwe after that night, except that their brushes aren’t so casual and lingering anymore. junhwe doesn’t bring it up either, he only grumbles in his usual sort of matter whenever bobby and donghyuk pester him about it.

“hyung, i think i need to become more likeable,” junhwe blurts out as he barges into jinhwan’s hotel room in tokyo.

“think?” donghyuk snorts from the bed next to jinhwan. junhwe sends him a glare that jinhwan pretends to remain oblivious to. “maybe you should try fanservice or something.”

“i didn’t ask for your help,” junhwe grumbles as he walks over to sit on jinhwan’s bed.

“i think it’s a good idea,” jinhwan remarks casually, fighting the urge to smile. he doesn’t tell junhwe that’s he’s more than likeable, in a cute, grumpy sort of way, instead peering furtively over the top of his ipad to gauge his reaction.

junhwe balks. “do you really think so?” he inquires hesitantly, practically forcing the words out of his mouth. donghyuk snickers and junhwe unsubtly kicks him.

“maybe you should just hang out with jinhwan, since he’s so likeable and you’re...well, not,” donghyuk suggests cheerfully as he rubs his shin. “or better yet, maybe you should do fanservice with him.”

the color drains from junhwe’s face.

“i have to go now,” donghyuk chirps as he bounces up from the bed, “bobby wants to show me something.” he and junhwe exchange a secret eye conversation involving a lot of glaring, from junhwe, and eye rolling, from donghyuk. “bye, hyung,” donghyuk says and the hotel door slams behind him.

they’re left alone and jinhwan is left wondering whose plan that was exactly.

“don’t worry,” he say, skimming through netizen comments on his ipad. “you’re a very likeable person, goo junhwe.”

junhwe moves so he’s sitting next to jinhwan. jinhwan leans over to rest his head on junhwe’s shoulder. “hanbin told us that we need to...appeal to the public, since they’re the ones voting for us.” junhwe fidgets as he speaks.

jinhwan snorts.

“then he told us that bobby would help us become more...likeable,” junhwe grimaces as he talks, as though the idea of bobby helping him at all is physically painful.

so it was bobby. “tomorrow the cameramen are supposed to be filming us while we visit places,” he puts down his ipad and scoots backwards a bit to look at junhwe.

“does that mean you’ll help me?” junhwe squirms.

“yeah,” he responds. junhwe’s face lights up. he really shouldn’t be this endearing.

on the bus, jinhwan can feel bobby burning eyes into the back of his head. he’s laughing loudly, with donghyuk and jinhyeong, and jinhwan refuses to turn around because he knows as soon as he does so, he’ll have to face bobby’s knowing look (someone needs to teach him that playing matchmaker always ends terribly).

“you aren’t going to go to the zoo with me?” hanbin asks him quietly. jinhwan wants to know if everyone’s in on this, or if it’s just hanbin, bobby, and donghyuk.

“sorry, you’re on your own today,” he pats hanbin’s arm as compensation.

he walks hand in hand with junhwe to the amusement park. junhwe’s hand is sweaty in his, grip firm but not uncomfortably tight. (jinhwan is eternally grateful that he doesn’t blush).

junhwe bumbles awkwardly the entire time, fumbling as he pays for their tickets to the ferris wheel. like a puppy, a voice that sounds eerily like bobby supplies unhelpfully.

the space in the ferris wheel feels too small, and jinhwan has to remind himself more than once that they’re being filmed. he tries not to withdraw his hands too quickly from where they’d been pushing playfully at junhwe’s chest. the touch burns.

jinhwan tries to convince himself that the tight feeling in his chest is just because of the vertigo.
unfortunately, the same excuse isn’t applicable when they finally reach the aquarium. jinhwan feels guilty for leaning into junhwe when they facetime hanbin. he closes his eyes for a brief moment, pretending that there isn’t any camera and just images. when he blinks again the illusion is broken. hanbin is telling them to have fun on their date and jinhwan becomes hyperaware of how close he actually is standing next to junhwe.

they walk back to the bus close enough to one another that their hands jostle against one another, even though the camera has long since stopped filming. jinhwan has to duck his head so no one sees how hard he’s smiling.

“how was your date?” bobby grins at him from where he lounges on the bed. jinhwan says nothing, walking straight past him in favor of sitting next to hanbin. “aw, hyung,” he whines as he rolls over.

“very touchy,” hanbin remarks dryly. jinhwan bolts up from where he had been lying. “i facetimed them on their date, they were cute.”

bobby jumps from the adjacent bed and lands on top of them, “junhwe seemed happier today,” he notes, “not as though that’s difficult, considering how grumpy he usually is.”

jinhwan squirms, trying to shift bobby slightly so there isn’t a heavy weight on his back and he doesn’t feel as winded. “don’t be mean to the kid,” he scolds bobby. the look between hanbin and bobby doesn’t go unnoticed by him.

“see, i told you,” bobby shifts so now he’s wedged in between him and hanbin. “you like him, hyung,” he trills into jinhwan’s ear.

“i don’t.” clearly he should have stayed in his own room and not agreed to spend time with hanbin and bobby tonight. he should have known that bobby would bring this up. he always does.

“you,” bobby whispers into his ear, breath wet and more than slightly disgusting. “like. goo. junhwe.” he punctuates each syllable.

“i don’t,” jinhwan repeats, shoving bobby so he rolls over hanbin and off the bed. hanbin doesn’t even blink.

“you never took me out to the park late at night,” hanbin says dryly as he continues to monitor one of their earlier performances. “and you like me, don’t you?”

“what?” bobby sits upright from where he had previously fallen onto the hotel room floor. “how come i never heard of this?”

“how’d you know?” jinhwan demands. “i thought you didn’t know,” he hisses.

hanbin shrugs. “i was awake,” jinhwan focuses his glare on him. he had been so sure that nobody knew.

“working,” he adds quickly. “and i pretty much guessed, you always go to the park whenever you leave late at night.”

“why didn’t you tell me this?” bobby complains petulantly before jinhwan gets a chance to say anything. “i thought we had an agreement!”

“hyung didn’t seem like he wanted anyone else to know, so i didn’t say anything,” hanbin says.

“whatever, we’ll talk about this later.” bobby replies flippantly. jinhwan isn’t sure whether or not to be affronted at that yet. “but don’t you see? you treat junhwe differently from everyone else.”

“you’ve taken him on at least a couple of dates already,” hanbin chimes in unhelpfully.

“i have not,” jinhwan scowls. this new, not quite ambivalent attitude hanbin has is no more helpful than his old one. “we just went to get food, and one time it was even for you,” he defends.

as glad as he is that hanbin and bobby do care about him in their own way (a way that’s so complex that others couldn’t possibly understand, it even confuses jinhwan at times) he really does not need them to meddle in this.

hanbin’s gaze softens and he nudges jinhwan with his shoulder to get his attention. “bobby and i talked about this, we just want you to be happy, hyung.”

sighing, jinhwan pouts as he allows himself to be pulled into bobby’s chest. “i don’t like him like that, though,” he says once more.

he thinks about it, the way junhwe is charming yet awkward, all at the same time. how he pretends to be apathetic and indifferent to others but secretly comes to jinhwan sometimes to ask for advice (the first time it had been for a birthday present for donghyuk and he’ll never forget how embarrassed junhwe had been).

there’s the way the younger will sometimes fumble awkwardly around him, cheeks dusted a light pink for seemingly no reason. in the mornings he’s more than slightly irascible, grumbling to himself with half his hair sticking up that looks more horrifying than it does cute.

then, jinhwan thinks about junhwe’s smile. how the corner of his lips will slowly turn up, revealing his teeth and his gums.

“i don’t like him,” jinhwan says faintly. it sounds incredibly flimsy, even to his ears.

bobby pats his head consolingly and hanbin gives him a pitying look.

he hates it when they’re right and he’s wrong.

jinhwan spends something close to two weeks after that carefully observing junhwe. it gets to the point where yunhyeong privately asks him if he’s alright, thinking the strange way he’d been behaving is due to the nearing date of the final concert.

it’s not that jinhwan isn’t sure that he likes junhwe (over the two and a half weeks he’s begrudgingly acknowledge that yes, he’s has more than just a soft spot for junhwe and that he’s maybe reciprocated junhwe’s feelings for more than a while now, much to bobby’s glee). it’s just that he doesn’t want to ruin the group’s dynamic and the delicate balance he and junhwe have come to.

he doesn’t want to be the one who causes them to dance around each other on eggshells for the rest of their career. jinhwan’s never been one for risk-taking, but he supposes goo junhwe is just one of the exceptions to that.

on the day the other six members are scheduled to return home, jinhwan helps junhwe pack. he’s atrocious at it, folding his clothes the wrong way and stuffing them into his suitcase.

“i’ll miss you,” he tells junhwe, taking a shirt from his hand and refolding it for him.

“i’m only going to be gone for two weeks,” junhwe mumbles as he scoots back, content to let jinhwan pack for him. “so there won’t be enough time to miss me.”

jinhwan laughs; junhwe says the words with the same seriousness he does whenever he talks about dance.

“you’re quite optimistic today,” he notes. junhwe says nothing, only grumbles something about how he’ll miss jinhwan as well, before they lapse into silence once more.

it feels odd, knowing that this might be the last time that he’ll see junhwe (at least during win there was never the threat of the six of them being split apart). jinhwan’s heart hammers against his ribcage as he hands junhwe his bag.

“here you go,” he says. their hands brush and it’s still the same burning touch it has been for awhile now.

“thanks, hyung,” junhwe mumbles as he slings his bag over his shoulder.

he’s never been too much of a fidgeter, but right now jinhwan plays with the hem of his shirt as the two of them stand there, unsure of what quite to do.

jinhwan sneaks a glance up at junhwe, who’s looking at his feet and rocking back and forth, a habit that he still hasn’t grown out of. jinhwan pulls out a loose thread from his shirt and bites the inside of his cheek. he takes a breath.

“i like you,” he says, looking up at junhwe to gauge his reaction.

“oh,” junhwe blinks. a second passes.

“oh,” he repeats. his eyes light up as the realization dawns on him. his entire body relaxes, as if some unseen tension was just alleviated. “wait, like as in…like like?”

“yes, like as in like like,” he affirms fondly. junhwe’s lips slowly begin to turn upward into a smile. it’s something that he hasn’t seen as often as he would like to recently.

“well, i like you too,” junhwe mumbles, ducking his head. “have for a while,” he says shyly, like an afterthought. there’s a small flush that’s beginning to show on his neck and makes its way towards junhwe’s cheeks.

opening up his arms, jinhwan waits for junhwe to oblige his hug.

for now, he doesn’t tell junhwe he already knew.

the two of them are lying in jinhwan's bed. jinhwan can feel the steady beat of junhwe's heart and he tugs on junhwe's arm. junhwe automatically draws jinhwan closer.

even though they've been together (only in the loosest term, since dating is prohibited for trainees and they're still technically trainees) for a month and half, junhwe still fumbles awkwardly around him, still unsure and uncertain.

it's quite endearing, and personally, jinhwan wouldn't have it any other way.

they lie together like that, junhwe with his chin resting on top of jinhwan's head as jinhwan curls into him even more. jinhwan's eyelids slowly begin to droop.

he's startled when the door swings open, banging against the wall (it's going to leave a scratch and jinhwan is not only slightly pissed because of that).

"i knew it," bobby calls out loudly and when jinhwan squints he can make out the smug grin on his face. "i told you so, kim hanbin. now pay up. having fun, hyung?"

"not now, bobby," jinhwan reproaches, without any real menace behind the words junhwe's body goes rigid.

"have fun," bobby says, voice smug. he winks at them before the door slams shut. junhwe's body begins to loosen once more.

once bobby leaves, junhwe mumbles, "i told you i'd only be gone for two weeks."

"yes, you did," jinhwan agrees and curls into him. "i still missed you, though."

"i still missed you, too," the younger says into jinhwan's hair, as though he's embarrassed to say it out loud.

this time, jinhwan doesn't bother hiding his smile.

☄ happy birthday reet!! im so sorry this was late it wasn't meant to be ;_____; i hope this fic lived up to your expectation and i do write everything i promise too!! just...eventually (four months later is that bad).
☄shoutout to rei helped look over this fic and made sense out of the mess it was. you listened to me while i should have been writing this fic instead and you deserve five (million) stars. idk where this fic would be without you, you've helped me so much
☄never again will i write 10k of junhwan from jinhwan's pov, he's so difficult