Presently
i am watching/listening to a concert of Haydn's Creation on EWTN Catholic Television that appears, judging by the ubiquitous very large spectacles, to have been filmed in the 1980s.
It has that charming sound quality that comes along with worn magnetic recordings: .. wommm.. wommmmm..
i am thoroughly unimpressed with the choir. Other than their glasses.
The conductor is completely not using any real conducting pattern.* Every time they show him, i get confused trying to figure out what the hell he thinks he's doing.
*No matter how tempting it may be to conduct by swooping your arms about in a facsimile of a very graceful seizure, this is not an acceptable technique. Nor, i'm sorry to say, is sort of keeping the beat by moving your primary conducting hand in circles from the wrist.
The soprano soloist is "amazing," which is to say, i am amazed that her neon floral-print puffed sleeves are LARGER THAN HER HEAD. She sings okay, i guess, but the dress. It is SO DISTRACTING. The bass is funny looking, but if i don't watch, he sounds good; some people just look odd while singing. How, sir, does your top lip stick straight out of your head? It is a mystery. Tenor isn't bad, but i swear he's wearing eyeliner. Actually, upon review, he's pretty good. Thanks, tenor, for being a lyric tenor! As for the choir, they know the notes, but their diction is crap. i'm glad they don't sing much. I AM PICKIEST EVER. The only reason i could tell it was German and not Mush Language X is due to the soloistsAAGH CONDUCTOR WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR ARMS, IT IS NOT CONDUCTING!?!
Now, to list the 80s _______s that appear in the next scan of the chorus!
- Bangs
- Feathered bangs
- Obvious perms
- Obvious perms with bangs
- Headbands
- Glasses that obsure eyebrows, cheekbones, or both
- Large aviator-frame glasses on 75% of the men
- Pastel eyeshadow
- Orange or frosted pink lipsticks
- Large, bulky earrings that are completely out of place
- Unfortunate patches of "natural-looking" blush
One of my favorites is the lady with the black helmet hair, amber-tinted glasses that cover most of her face, really dark tan, and frosted pale pink lips.
.. was everyone really that unattractive in the 80s? Because, really, it is not just the hair. These people are not pretty.
Okay, i can only see the top of the atrocity the soprano is wearing, but i shall attempt to describe it:
textured fabric -- either shiny or crushed velvet, unsure, with coral, orange, turquoise, white, and purple splotchy abstract floral design. GIANT puffed sleeves, tapering in to end at the elbow, lined with inch-wide tan lace. The top of the sleeve is seriously three or four inches above her shoulder line. Anyway, fitted-ish bodice with plunging narrow V neckline, also lined in wide tan lace, which meets at the bottom of the V and runs side-by-side down the front of the bodice. MM MM, DOUBLE-WIDE TAN LACE. With this, she is wearing a short triple-strand of pearls.
GOOD GOD THEY ZOOMED OUT I THINK THE ENTIRE SKIRT MIGHT BE ORANGE. AND LARGE.
Yeah, i'm done. This is just.. astonishing.. on some level.. i'm sure. Like the WHY WHY WHY WHY level, but hey, it is after four in the morning. Better than infomercials.
It has that charming sound quality that comes along with worn magnetic recordings: .. wommm.. wommmmm..
i am thoroughly unimpressed with the choir. Other than their glasses.
The conductor is completely not using any real conducting pattern.* Every time they show him, i get confused trying to figure out what the hell he thinks he's doing.
*No matter how tempting it may be to conduct by swooping your arms about in a facsimile of a very graceful seizure, this is not an acceptable technique. Nor, i'm sorry to say, is sort of keeping the beat by moving your primary conducting hand in circles from the wrist.
The soprano soloist is "amazing," which is to say, i am amazed that her neon floral-print puffed sleeves are LARGER THAN HER HEAD. She sings okay, i guess, but the dress. It is SO DISTRACTING. The bass is funny looking, but if i don't watch, he sounds good; some people just look odd while singing. How, sir, does your top lip stick straight out of your head? It is a mystery. Tenor isn't bad, but i swear he's wearing eyeliner. Actually, upon review, he's pretty good. Thanks, tenor, for being a lyric tenor! As for the choir, they know the notes, but their diction is crap. i'm glad they don't sing much. I AM PICKIEST EVER. The only reason i could tell it was German and not Mush Language X is due to the soloistsAAGH CONDUCTOR WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR ARMS, IT IS NOT CONDUCTING!?!
Now, to list the 80s _______s that appear in the next scan of the chorus!
- Bangs
- Feathered bangs
- Obvious perms
- Obvious perms with bangs
- Headbands
- Glasses that obsure eyebrows, cheekbones, or both
- Large aviator-frame glasses on 75% of the men
- Pastel eyeshadow
- Orange or frosted pink lipsticks
- Large, bulky earrings that are completely out of place
- Unfortunate patches of "natural-looking" blush
One of my favorites is the lady with the black helmet hair, amber-tinted glasses that cover most of her face, really dark tan, and frosted pale pink lips.
.. was everyone really that unattractive in the 80s? Because, really, it is not just the hair. These people are not pretty.
Okay, i can only see the top of the atrocity the soprano is wearing, but i shall attempt to describe it:
textured fabric -- either shiny or crushed velvet, unsure, with coral, orange, turquoise, white, and purple splotchy abstract floral design. GIANT puffed sleeves, tapering in to end at the elbow, lined with inch-wide tan lace. The top of the sleeve is seriously three or four inches above her shoulder line. Anyway, fitted-ish bodice with plunging narrow V neckline, also lined in wide tan lace, which meets at the bottom of the V and runs side-by-side down the front of the bodice. MM MM, DOUBLE-WIDE TAN LACE. With this, she is wearing a short triple-strand of pearls.
GOOD GOD THEY ZOOMED OUT I THINK THE ENTIRE SKIRT MIGHT BE ORANGE. AND LARGE.
Yeah, i'm done. This is just.. astonishing.. on some level.. i'm sure. Like the WHY WHY WHY WHY level, but hey, it is after four in the morning. Better than infomercials.