An Immortal Ianto fic 1/1
This is part of my Immortal Ianto series, the beginning of which can be found here. So, this one's a little more somber than usual, my brain is leaning towards h/c at the moment, which is a novel experience for me. Big thanks to aeron_lanart for her reassurances.
WARNING:Spoiler for Children of Earth, character detail, not plot.
Disclaimer: Torchwood doesn't belong to me, neither does Highlander. Boo.
Each Other's Courage
Jack was mildly concerned when Ianto disappeared from the Hub without saying a word. Ever since the business with Lisa, Ianto had made a habit of announcing when he was going to the Archives, or up to the Tourist Information office, or sometimes even just to the loo. It had become a bit of a running joke between them all, and it had eventually eased Ianto’s guilt on the subject, but the habit had remained.
So when he didn’t return after half an hour, Jack began to get really worried. He knew Ianto hadn’t left the building, he’d gone downstairs, but Amanda wasn’t with him and there was no archiving that needed attention so Jack couldn’t think what was taking him so long.
After forty-five minutes, Jack went looking for him.
He found him in the room that he and Amanda practised in, with his jacket and shirt off; working through some basic Tai-chi Amanda had taught him to focus his mind. Jack stood in the doorway, watching him, until Ianto had finished the kata and come to a standstill.
“Problem?” he asked, startling Ianto.
“How long have you been stood there?” Ianto asked as he fetched his shirt and put it back on. Jack crossed the room to him.
“Long enough to see that something’s bothering you. Talk to me, please?”
Ianto looked at him for a moment or two, seeming to weigh up his options.
“How do you do it, Jack? Keep going, keep living,” he said finally.
Jack released the tension in his muscles that had been building since Ianto left the Hub. He’d been expecting this conversation, sooner or later. In fact, he’d been surprised that Ianto hadn’t brought any of it up sooner.
“What choice do I have? All I can do is live,” he replied, but he regretted the flippancy of the answer almost immediately. Ianto looked almost wounded by it, and Jack realised that his usual dismissive response wasn’t good enough here. “You mean how do I live, right? I don’t, not always. There have been times when all I could manage was to exist, when I thought I’d seen too much, lost too much. Having people like you in my life helps.”
“And when you lose them?”
“It’s hard, I won’t lie to you, and it doesn’t get any easier. But I think that the good times are worth the suffering. Because, Ianto Jones, the alternative is even more unbearable,” Jack answered softly and caressed Ianto’s cheek. Ianto leaned into it and brushed his mouth against Jack’s hand.
Ianto’s cheek was wet and Jack realised with a start that Ianto had been crying. He wiped the tears away and leaned in to kiss Ianto gently on the mouth, a chaste kiss of comfort, before wrapping his arms around him.
“I have family, you know,” Ianto said. “Or rather, I don’t. All these years, and I’m not my father’s son. My sister isn’t even related to me.”
The existence of a sister was news to Jack. He knew that Ianto had a family, but he never really thought about them. Amanda had told him that all Immortals were orphans, which made a kind of sense to Jack, as did the fact that Immortals couldn’t have children. He tried not to think about it too much, but the thought of his daughter growing old and dying was too much to bear some days.
“Blood isn’t the only thing that makes a family, Ianto,” Jack told him.
“No, it doesn’t. But I’m going to have to sever my ties with them, aren’t I? Even if they could accept that I’m Immortal, I’d have to watch them grow old and die. I’m going to lose everyone I care about,” Ianto said. His voice was quiet, Ianto never shouted, but Jack could hear in his voice that he wanted to, and Jack couldn’t blame him.
“Not everyone,” Jack said quietly. Ianto initiated the kiss this time, and it was hard and urgent and needy. Jack kissed him back, letting him know that they were both very much alive, hands seeking to pull the shirt back off again, and then working their way down to Ianto’s trousers. He felt Ianto’s hands tug at his braces and begin unbuttoning his shirt.
They were here, and now, and alive.
WARNING:Spoiler for Children of Earth, character detail, not plot.
Disclaimer: Torchwood doesn't belong to me, neither does Highlander. Boo.
Each Other's Courage
Jack was mildly concerned when Ianto disappeared from the Hub without saying a word. Ever since the business with Lisa, Ianto had made a habit of announcing when he was going to the Archives, or up to the Tourist Information office, or sometimes even just to the loo. It had become a bit of a running joke between them all, and it had eventually eased Ianto’s guilt on the subject, but the habit had remained.
So when he didn’t return after half an hour, Jack began to get really worried. He knew Ianto hadn’t left the building, he’d gone downstairs, but Amanda wasn’t with him and there was no archiving that needed attention so Jack couldn’t think what was taking him so long.
After forty-five minutes, Jack went looking for him.
He found him in the room that he and Amanda practised in, with his jacket and shirt off; working through some basic Tai-chi Amanda had taught him to focus his mind. Jack stood in the doorway, watching him, until Ianto had finished the kata and come to a standstill.
“Problem?” he asked, startling Ianto.
“How long have you been stood there?” Ianto asked as he fetched his shirt and put it back on. Jack crossed the room to him.
“Long enough to see that something’s bothering you. Talk to me, please?”
Ianto looked at him for a moment or two, seeming to weigh up his options.
“How do you do it, Jack? Keep going, keep living,” he said finally.
Jack released the tension in his muscles that had been building since Ianto left the Hub. He’d been expecting this conversation, sooner or later. In fact, he’d been surprised that Ianto hadn’t brought any of it up sooner.
“What choice do I have? All I can do is live,” he replied, but he regretted the flippancy of the answer almost immediately. Ianto looked almost wounded by it, and Jack realised that his usual dismissive response wasn’t good enough here. “You mean how do I live, right? I don’t, not always. There have been times when all I could manage was to exist, when I thought I’d seen too much, lost too much. Having people like you in my life helps.”
“And when you lose them?”
“It’s hard, I won’t lie to you, and it doesn’t get any easier. But I think that the good times are worth the suffering. Because, Ianto Jones, the alternative is even more unbearable,” Jack answered softly and caressed Ianto’s cheek. Ianto leaned into it and brushed his mouth against Jack’s hand.
Ianto’s cheek was wet and Jack realised with a start that Ianto had been crying. He wiped the tears away and leaned in to kiss Ianto gently on the mouth, a chaste kiss of comfort, before wrapping his arms around him.
“I have family, you know,” Ianto said. “Or rather, I don’t. All these years, and I’m not my father’s son. My sister isn’t even related to me.”
The existence of a sister was news to Jack. He knew that Ianto had a family, but he never really thought about them. Amanda had told him that all Immortals were orphans, which made a kind of sense to Jack, as did the fact that Immortals couldn’t have children. He tried not to think about it too much, but the thought of his daughter growing old and dying was too much to bear some days.
“Blood isn’t the only thing that makes a family, Ianto,” Jack told him.
“No, it doesn’t. But I’m going to have to sever my ties with them, aren’t I? Even if they could accept that I’m Immortal, I’d have to watch them grow old and die. I’m going to lose everyone I care about,” Ianto said. His voice was quiet, Ianto never shouted, but Jack could hear in his voice that he wanted to, and Jack couldn’t blame him.
“Not everyone,” Jack said quietly. Ianto initiated the kiss this time, and it was hard and urgent and needy. Jack kissed him back, letting him know that they were both very much alive, hands seeking to pull the shirt back off again, and then working their way down to Ianto’s trousers. He felt Ianto’s hands tug at his braces and begin unbuttoning his shirt.
They were here, and now, and alive.