Welcome to the morning news. I'm Jerry May?
Good morning. Today's top story:
Terrorists located in Cleveland, OH, have issued this statement to the Jerry May Morning News Team. This statment has not been altered in any way. What you are about to hear may disturb you. Viewer discretion is advised:
Dear Jerry May:
Please update your LiveJournal. Some of us have real jobs that do not include making scavenger hunts and playing volleyball. Really important jobs. And some of those people with the really important jobs welcome the simple distraction of reading your LiveJournal. Which has not been updated in a long time. So if you'd kindly keep me informed about your life's progress... using said LiveJournal... I'd much appreciate it. It would keep my days more interesting. Thanks much.
Your ex-roommate's cool twin brother,
Ben
PS: I miss your house. And family.
Shocking.
And now on to weather with Joe Snedeker:
The forecast for the next week does not see a good chance of a real livejournal update, due to unpredictable work schedules. Also, next week has alot of warm weather and beach volleyball in the forecast, with little chance of computer. However, look for conditions to imporve after that. *stick figure does dance*
And now onto sports with Champ Kind: the sister of the roomate of the cousin of the boss of the uncle of rarely used 4th string offensive tackle Tom Nobody of the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers sneezed today, and our affiliates KDKA are there to cover it. Let's go live on the scene where Bob.......
********************BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN*************************
Joe Wilde is better than you.
Terrorists located in Cleveland, OH, have issued this statement to the Jerry May Morning News Team. This statment has not been altered in any way. What you are about to hear may disturb you. Viewer discretion is advised:
Dear Jerry May:
Please update your LiveJournal. Some of us have real jobs that do not include making scavenger hunts and playing volleyball. Really important jobs. And some of those people with the really important jobs welcome the simple distraction of reading your LiveJournal. Which has not been updated in a long time. So if you'd kindly keep me informed about your life's progress... using said LiveJournal... I'd much appreciate it. It would keep my days more interesting. Thanks much.
Your ex-roommate's cool twin brother,
Ben
PS: I miss your house. And family.
Shocking.
And now on to weather with Joe Snedeker:
The forecast for the next week does not see a good chance of a real livejournal update, due to unpredictable work schedules. Also, next week has alot of warm weather and beach volleyball in the forecast, with little chance of computer. However, look for conditions to imporve after that. *stick figure does dance*
And now onto sports with Champ Kind: the sister of the roomate of the cousin of the boss of the uncle of rarely used 4th string offensive tackle Tom Nobody of the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers sneezed today, and our affiliates KDKA are there to cover it. Let's go live on the scene where Bob.......
********************BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN*************************
Joe Wilde is better than you.