Shes asks, "Where the money at?"
So, I'm.... you guessed it at work.
I've been thinking alot about my life today.... have no idea why, just thinking of all the things that are going on right now....
Mom wants to get rid of Jax, and I dont blame her, why would I want something to remind me of my last relationship? (Saying that in the nicest way possible) plus, hes insane. The dog doesnt know anything, and whenever I have another guy over, he freaks out. I almost feel like hes judging me when he sees me with Jeff. I dont know, its almost like having a child after a divorce.....haha but not really.
My room that I've been trying to fix up for my mother is finally done, the only thing I need to do now are get frames for some pictures that go on the wall. It feels good to come home to a room that is (in so many words) more mature.
I'm still in the process of things with Appalachian, I think tonight I am going to say screw it, and do an online application AGAIN! Or at least get in contact with someone who will call a sista back....sheeze.
I had a great talk last night, like really talked, and alot of things came out of me that I didnt realize were there. I'm angry, about so many different things, I'm angry about the past relationships I've had, I'm angry about going back to school last January. I should have just stayed home, and went to CPCC, then I'd already be at Appalachian.
"But should of's, would of's, and could of's dont matter, you live for the present, today, that is where Gods blessings will be"
Anyway, so for right now, my goal, the only real thing important to me is the following school semester. I'm setting my goals higher for relationships, and giving up drinking as of today. I know it isnt like I drank every night, but for a while, I felt that the only way my friends and I have fun is by drinking, which is not the lifestyle I want to be living.
As far as my social life, good greif...
I have the most loyal friends a girl could ask for. They are so forthright and honest, and caring. Just when I feel like my basket is about to fall, they make me realize the beauty in life, that there is so much out there that I have yet to accomplish. They make me feel that life is awesome, that I can really do anything I want. And basically that I'm the most gorgeous thing that ever hit this earth....haha.
On the friend note, I do have one friend that was going through a tough time with her beau. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and the situation had waaaay too much grey area. But she said she was fine with it, and that she could deal with it, well the other night, I laid into her, maybe a little too hard, but I had just wanted so desperatly to see that he wasnt worth it, he was being a toad head and she is lovely. Well after basically making her cry and then soon pissing her off, I found the next day, a different person. She had talked to him, and things were said and his butt was shown, and she cried and let it all out and then realized, its done. I'm done, I'm going to get on with my life. The reason for me putting this in my journal is because I'm so proud of her, it takes guts to let go of a 2 year relationship, and she did.
Not that tears dont visit us every now and then, or the occasional song sneaks onto our radio that we immediatly turn off, but we are living. After both her and I were in pergatory relationships, we found a way out of it, I just wish she could have found an easier one, like I did. But, sometimes doing things the harder way makes you stronger, and maybe just a little bit wiser.
So off to the extravegant lifestyle that is mine aka answering phones, sorting out mail, dealing with middle aged men...
tata
Blake
P.S- Shannon and I have the worst list of guilty pleasures
-Gossip Girl
-Grey's Anatomy
-The Hills
-Rock of love ♥
I've been thinking alot about my life today.... have no idea why, just thinking of all the things that are going on right now....
Mom wants to get rid of Jax, and I dont blame her, why would I want something to remind me of my last relationship? (Saying that in the nicest way possible) plus, hes insane. The dog doesnt know anything, and whenever I have another guy over, he freaks out. I almost feel like hes judging me when he sees me with Jeff. I dont know, its almost like having a child after a divorce.....haha but not really.
My room that I've been trying to fix up for my mother is finally done, the only thing I need to do now are get frames for some pictures that go on the wall. It feels good to come home to a room that is (in so many words) more mature.
I'm still in the process of things with Appalachian, I think tonight I am going to say screw it, and do an online application AGAIN! Or at least get in contact with someone who will call a sista back....sheeze.
I had a great talk last night, like really talked, and alot of things came out of me that I didnt realize were there. I'm angry, about so many different things, I'm angry about the past relationships I've had, I'm angry about going back to school last January. I should have just stayed home, and went to CPCC, then I'd already be at Appalachian.
"But should of's, would of's, and could of's dont matter, you live for the present, today, that is where Gods blessings will be"
Anyway, so for right now, my goal, the only real thing important to me is the following school semester. I'm setting my goals higher for relationships, and giving up drinking as of today. I know it isnt like I drank every night, but for a while, I felt that the only way my friends and I have fun is by drinking, which is not the lifestyle I want to be living.
As far as my social life, good greif...
I have the most loyal friends a girl could ask for. They are so forthright and honest, and caring. Just when I feel like my basket is about to fall, they make me realize the beauty in life, that there is so much out there that I have yet to accomplish. They make me feel that life is awesome, that I can really do anything I want. And basically that I'm the most gorgeous thing that ever hit this earth....haha.
On the friend note, I do have one friend that was going through a tough time with her beau. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and the situation had waaaay too much grey area. But she said she was fine with it, and that she could deal with it, well the other night, I laid into her, maybe a little too hard, but I had just wanted so desperatly to see that he wasnt worth it, he was being a toad head and she is lovely. Well after basically making her cry and then soon pissing her off, I found the next day, a different person. She had talked to him, and things were said and his butt was shown, and she cried and let it all out and then realized, its done. I'm done, I'm going to get on with my life. The reason for me putting this in my journal is because I'm so proud of her, it takes guts to let go of a 2 year relationship, and she did.
Not that tears dont visit us every now and then, or the occasional song sneaks onto our radio that we immediatly turn off, but we are living. After both her and I were in pergatory relationships, we found a way out of it, I just wish she could have found an easier one, like I did. But, sometimes doing things the harder way makes you stronger, and maybe just a little bit wiser.
So off to the extravegant lifestyle that is mine aka answering phones, sorting out mail, dealing with middle aged men...
tata
Blake
P.S- Shannon and I have the worst list of guilty pleasures
-Gossip Girl
-Grey's Anatomy
-The Hills
-Rock of love ♥