I just don't know what to write
I dont write because i dont know what to say. I dont know what to say because i havn't registered how i feel about everything, and i haven't registered it all because there is so much. I'm dealing with a deep depression about something that's happened to me in the past year. My sadness is so intense that it seems like nothing else matters. It terrifies me. It's become so bad i've sought professional help. I hope that things will start to look up now.
My constant complaints of not feeling well are solidified. My doctor has informed me that i need to take a chemo like drug for six weeks that will make me feel like i'm dying before i can get better. He's angry because i won't take it now but i can't quit work and school. So it'll have to wait for the summer.
I miss my friends. I miss having true friends. I hate having to let go of the ones i've lost touch with but it's all too much for me to look back and wonder.
Noele had her baby. March 24. She's a beautiful baby. She's the tiniest little person and the only baby i've seen with no baby fat. It rips through my heart.
My goal now is to take the next couple weeks as they come, To finish school and work and get better, and to take some personal time for me. I need to start documenting how i feel again. Hopefully this will be where i do it.
My constant complaints of not feeling well are solidified. My doctor has informed me that i need to take a chemo like drug for six weeks that will make me feel like i'm dying before i can get better. He's angry because i won't take it now but i can't quit work and school. So it'll have to wait for the summer.
I miss my friends. I miss having true friends. I hate having to let go of the ones i've lost touch with but it's all too much for me to look back and wonder.
Noele had her baby. March 24. She's a beautiful baby. She's the tiniest little person and the only baby i've seen with no baby fat. It rips through my heart.
My goal now is to take the next couple weeks as they come, To finish school and work and get better, and to take some personal time for me. I need to start documenting how i feel again. Hopefully this will be where i do it.