★ 『three』

[idkmybffsatan]

SAM OLIVER NEEDS A ROOMMATE
See conditions below:

• If you're a tool, you're automatically disqualified.
  
• Do not have any intention of consuming me. (i.e: appendages, organs, blood, or sexual energy.)
• If you have crazy powers, don't blow up the apartment.
• No psychopath, demons, zombies, mass murderers, or evil villains.
• Pay your part of the rent on time.

Comments

[mr_phale]

Goodness... it sounds as though you've a history of, er. Poor roommates.

[idkmybffsatan]

Actually, all my roommates have been pretty awesome. This is just a safeguard for the City.

Though it looks like you have fun roommate.

[mr_phale]

Well, we're old friends... I'm rather accustomed to his, er... peculiarities.

[idkmybffsatan]

So he does eat babies?

[mr_phale]

Why would he do that? Actually he's got quite refined tastes. Partial to, er. Sushi.

[idkmybffsatan]

It's a running joke we have.