★ 『three』

[idkmybffsatan]

SAM OLIVER NEEDS A ROOMMATE
See conditions below:

• If you're a tool, you're automatically disqualified.
  
• Do not have any intention of consuming me. (i.e: appendages, organs, blood, or sexual energy.)
• If you have crazy powers, don't blow up the apartment.
• No psychopath, demons, zombies, mass murderers, or evil villains.
• Pay your part of the rent on time.

Comments

[tothelibrary]

That's... really specific!

[idkmybffsatan]

...Why is everyone saying that?

Is it that big of a deal to want a roommate that DOESN'T WANT TO KILL YOU?

[tothelibrary]

No, I wasn't critiquing! It's good to be specific. I was impressed.

[idkmybffsatan]

I've learned from experience that it's better to know what you're getting into.

Thanks.

[tothelibrary]

Generally good guidelines for life.

You're welcome.

...I'm Dawn.

[idkmybffsatan]

And especially in the City.

I'm Sam. Of the Oliver variety.

[tothelibrary]

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'm of the Summers variety, if we're hitting up last names. Nice to meet you, Sam.

[idkmybffsatan]

There are over a million Sam's here. Last names are necessary.

Why are there so many Sam's here?

[tothelibrary]

I will henceforth only refer to you as Sam Oliver, then. So you can be special.

...The City hates you?

[idkmybffsatan]

I'm clearly the most awesome Sam in the City, by the way.

[tothelibrary]

Clearly. Also, if you still need a video game buddy, provided it's not Rock Band and you can deal with a girl kicking your butt, I'm kind of perpetually unemployed.

[idkmybffsatan]

I can deal with a girl kicking my butt because it won't happen.

Do you like fighting games?