★ 『three』

[idkmybffsatan]

SAM OLIVER NEEDS A ROOMMATE
See conditions below:

• If you're a tool, you're automatically disqualified.
  
• Do not have any intention of consuming me. (i.e: appendages, organs, blood, or sexual energy.)
• If you have crazy powers, don't blow up the apartment.
• No psychopath, demons, zombies, mass murderers, or evil villains.
• Pay your part of the rent on time.

Comments

[haroicsacrifice]

You sure set your standards high!

[idkmybffsatan]

High? I'd call these pretty basic.

[haroicsacrifice]

I don't know, in the City of all places...

Well, I was kidding.

[idkmybffsatan]

I think it's perfectly understandable for me to not want to be shanked or maimed by my roommate.

Though should have come up with a better way of screening the potentials.

[haroicsacrifice]

I've noticed that most of the people who are likely to start killing their roommates here are straightforward enough about it.

[idkmybffsatan]

Unless they're passive aggressive asshats.

Then they'll come during the night and slit your throat while you're sleeping.

[haroicsacrifice]

Like I said, I've seen more of the direct type here in the City. But I guess you can't rule those out.

[idkmybffsatan]

You've gotten attacked before?

[haroicsacrifice]

I should say, I've heard about others being attacked. But outside of curses, I haven't been myself.

[idkmybffsatan]

"Outside of curses, I haven't been myself."

That's pretty depressing.

1/2

[haroicsacrifice]

Huh?

[haroicsacrifice]

Oh.

Haha, I meant that I haven't been attacked myself. Not that I haven't been myself--who else would I be?

[idkmybffsatan]

I meant the fact you had to even say "outside of curses."

Really tells a lot about the City.

[haroicsacrifice]

That's true, but I think people learn to adapt.

[idkmybffsatan]

Until something new shakes them up again.