FIC: Your urge (2/2) HIMYM
2. Robin
She lies to herself.
Robin says that she doesn't want commitment when what she doesn't want is long-term.
She says that she wants fun when what she doesn't want is to share too much of herself.
She says that she doesn't want romance when she just doesn't want to be smothered.
She says that she wants adventure when, really, all she wants is a guy who'll be kind to her.
Trouble is, she never used to be that girl. She never used to be someone that people would describe as "loose". How is it that she went from serial date-er to one-night-stand-er? When did that happen?
Now it's 6:45 in the morning and Robin's just leaving work when everyone else is waking up. She feels so giddy that she's ready to collapse. She should be feeling young and alive and having the time in her life when actually she's stuck in a zombie-state, blundering around falling over things, making mistakes, barely able to focus because she's tired all the time.
So she pushes onwards, looking for something, searching for a guy, a partner, fun. She doesn't know what she's looking for.
Then Barney does something.
A look, a word, a smile. A hint of what's possible.
And for a moment, just a moment, it stops her in her tracks. Everything makes sense somehow, even in the midst of so much senselessness.
For a moment she contemplates their friendship growing and becoming something more.
For a moment…
But then she remembers what it was like with Ted. How she'd discovered all the downsides of a "relationship". How she'd changed (grown?) to accept (enjoy?) monogamy.
Barney's no Ted but he's wrong for her in every possible way. Every way. He's wrong.
He'd never cling to her, demand anything of her, but Robin's discovered her green-eyed monster and she can't shut it back in the box. She could never share any guy with a hundred other women. She knows that anything were ever to happen between her and Barney, that she'd get hurt. Maybe even he'd get hurt. Someone would get hurt.
But he's so god damn hot. She's never know a guy who gives her such an urge.
…the urge to grab his Italian silk tie and drag him back to her place like a dog on a leash.
…the urge to kiss him, just to see what he might do.
Trouble is, she's pretty sure it would mean the end of everything. She thinks about the three of them, about her and Barney and Ted. She knows that their friendship won't survive another blow like it took last summer.
And with no boyfriend and a crappy zombie-job, all she's left with is her friends.
She lies to herself.
Robin says that she doesn't want commitment when what she doesn't want is long-term.
She says that she wants fun when what she doesn't want is to share too much of herself.
She says that she doesn't want romance when she just doesn't want to be smothered.
She says that she wants adventure when, really, all she wants is a guy who'll be kind to her.
Trouble is, she never used to be that girl. She never used to be someone that people would describe as "loose". How is it that she went from serial date-er to one-night-stand-er? When did that happen?
Now it's 6:45 in the morning and Robin's just leaving work when everyone else is waking up. She feels so giddy that she's ready to collapse. She should be feeling young and alive and having the time in her life when actually she's stuck in a zombie-state, blundering around falling over things, making mistakes, barely able to focus because she's tired all the time.
So she pushes onwards, looking for something, searching for a guy, a partner, fun. She doesn't know what she's looking for.
Then Barney does something.
A look, a word, a smile. A hint of what's possible.
And for a moment, just a moment, it stops her in her tracks. Everything makes sense somehow, even in the midst of so much senselessness.
For a moment she contemplates their friendship growing and becoming something more.
For a moment…
But then she remembers what it was like with Ted. How she'd discovered all the downsides of a "relationship". How she'd changed (grown?) to accept (enjoy?) monogamy.
Barney's no Ted but he's wrong for her in every possible way. Every way. He's wrong.
He'd never cling to her, demand anything of her, but Robin's discovered her green-eyed monster and she can't shut it back in the box. She could never share any guy with a hundred other women. She knows that anything were ever to happen between her and Barney, that she'd get hurt. Maybe even he'd get hurt. Someone would get hurt.
But he's so god damn hot. She's never know a guy who gives her such an urge.
…the urge to grab his Italian silk tie and drag him back to her place like a dog on a leash.
…the urge to kiss him, just to see what he might do.
Trouble is, she's pretty sure it would mean the end of everything. She thinks about the three of them, about her and Barney and Ted. She knows that their friendship won't survive another blow like it took last summer.
And with no boyfriend and a crappy zombie-job, all she's left with is her friends.